A twist in the tale. This is not my usual mommy blog, but rather, my stray thoughts on feminism. These thoughts have long brewed in the back of my mind. Time to put them down. Just so you know, this is a write up on feminism, not a male bashing party. That would be fun too, but maybe for another time!

First and foremost, I am very thankful to the great ladies of the past who started the feminist movement to fight for the basic rights of women, such as the right to vote, a right to have a say and an effort to gain the elusive equality that women yearn for. Without their tireless efforts, we would still be in the dark ages, no more than cattle or other such “properties of men”.

That said, I have long felt that feminism stopped short to achieving its goals. So the question is, what is the goal? Is it to gain equality for women? That is a worthy goal, except for an important fact. We gain equality that brings us equal to men in a framework that is essentially patriarchal. In other words, it’s a man’s world, babe!

So we tighten our belts, go out, work shoulder to shoulder with men, hob nob with men, try to infiltrate the old boy’s club so that we can climb the corporate ladder, we study hard, try to prove that we are as good as them and so on and so forth. However, we don’t want to show our vulnerabilities, our feminist side too much, we don’t form the old girl’s club (because that’s so uncool), dress too feminine lest we are not taken seriously, show our motherly side (hey, that’s unprofessional), you get it! Let’s be women but stay in line, fit in a man’s world. While doing this, we lose the essence of being a woman. In other words, the higher you climb on a corporate ladder, the lesser you are going to be in touch with your feminine side. This is because our society is structured in a patriarchy and as such, works for men, but not for women.

In order to embrace the opportunities that women got thanks to the feminist movement, we rushed ahead and did all the things that men do and made our way through the world as men do. We are successful, no doubt, but we aren’t women.

I thought more about it and wondered what is missing. My search led me to matriarchal societies. There have been some in history and they still exist. The central theme of a matriarchal society is nurturing. Ok, that starts sounding a lot better to me already. Women like nurturing, that’s a fact. If this was the central theme of a society, women would prefer to live in such a society. The little bit that I did read on matriarchies showed a balance of power. This means men were not relegated to a lower position. Rather, they did things such as building, construction, and were also part of the government. The nice thing in these societies seemed to be that matriarchy did not mean women were superior and on the top everywhere. Rather, the structure seemed such that the central theme was nurturing and otherwise a more or less equitable distribution of power.

The question is, what’s better? I don’t have a perfect answer. Matriarchies haven’t had much luck and will definitely fail when encountering patriarchy. This is because a patriarchal society focuses on development and growth. and as such, is more advanced, while a matriarchal society focuses on nurturing. A more advanced society is bound to prevail.

Does that make patriarchy better? Look around you to get the answer. Are people happy? Has the unhinged growth led to any kind of a utopia? Is our society on a positive or a negative path? Is our growth sustainable? Are we not growing at the expense of someone else, in some other part of the world? Are we at war? Is our environment getting more and more polluted? I don’t believe our current society is working.

What’s the solution? Men and women have their strengths and weaknesses. A perfect world in my opinion would use the strengths and recognize the weakness. Both should be celebrated for what they are. The more I think about it, the better off we would be with a society tending toward matriarchy but essentially equal. It would be very good if people would not try to figure out who is better, as if there is a competition. No competition is necessary. On the contrary, it is ridiculous. Cooperation would be so much more fruitful than competition. A world where nurturing is central, rather than monetary gain, or endless growth would benefit everyone. Our current focus on growth is ridiculously unsustainable and is always at the cost of someone else, be it a different part of the world, the animal world or by stealing Earth’s resources. Such a travesty.

If we do have to function in a patriarchy, for as long as the party lasts (and it won’t last for that long, the way things are going), women would do good not to first and foremost bash the feminist movement. Women that talk against the feminist movement are truly to be pitied for their lack of understanding as to how things were in the past. Women should also support each other. This is an important point, because in order to move up in the man’s world, women often put each other down. That’s a real shame. Do not do that.

Men on the other hand, need to please stop referring to women as the weaker sex. Please, kindly pull your heads out of the sand and remember for just one second. Every last human on the earth has been produced by a woman who you address as a weaker sex. It would be laughable if it wasn’t so sad. Women, do not buy into the narrative that you are weaker. You are disadvantaged due to your circumstances.

Let’s try cooperation, nurturing, and slow down on the road of growth to nowhere. We are heading toward abyss.

Oh wow. My animals have things to say on this subject as well!

Rosie the dog: Wait, what? Male higher than female? Since when? I didn’t get the memo. That memo should be torn up. You don’t believe me? Check out Kylo Ren, my husband and me. If I as much as yawn and show my teeth by mistake, he starts yowling in a corner and I have to give him his favorite comfort pillow. Eyeroll. Now, that’s not to say that my husband is useless. He takes on his guarding role very extremely seriously. And he is perfect at it. He can pounce on any human that comes too close. I know my human girls Tanya and Leena (and even my weak Papa and Mom) are safe with him. He is also sweet and loving and has never been afraid to show it. I guess you can say that he is thriving under my matriarchy. Let’s see what he has to say.

Kylo Ren the dog: Yes, whatever you say, my dear wife Rosie. I don’t know what she is talking about. Let me go find my bone. All I can say about this topic is, girls rock. My whole entire world is all girls. There’s my Papa, the lone boy around other than me. And if there’s any doubt who is the boss, let me tell you, it is my girl Tanya. So yes, I can go for a matriarchy (I don’t have a choice I think!). Let’s pass it on to the chickens.

Lazy Laurie the chicken: Oh ya, we girls rule. You don’t believe me? Let me refer you to the authorities. Do you know that in my town, only chicks are allowed, no roosters? That means my humans cannot have a rooster. Do you know why? They are way too noisy and violent. So if it is good enough for the Borough, it is good enough for us. In our neck of the woods at least, women rule the roost! Thanks for the applause. Now let me go lay an egg.