writing

Crazy cookie the chicken: Lately we chickens have been the most adventurous of the whole lot of creatures at Elf land. So I get to start the blog of the day.

Our humans have a double fence system to keep us chickens inside the property. There is an inside fence with a gate. This is followed by an outside fence with a second gate. One would think this is enough barricade to keep four squawking hens from leaving their land. Well, one would think wrong! Allow me to elaborate with a most exciting story.

One fine day, Lazy Laurie was pecking around near the fence, when she suddenly saw something from the corner of her eye. On the other side of the fence, from the depths of the neighbor’s yard, emerged two juiciest and yummiest looking worms! Lazy Laurie’s eyes popped right out! She sent me on a mission. I was to watch the neighbor’s yard for the next couple of days and report my findings regarding the viability of the neighbor’s yard for free ranging.

After just one day of observation, I was able to give most favorable reports of the neighbor’s yard to Lazy Laurie and my other sisters. Not only is the neighboring yard full of juicy worms, it also has unpecked, untouched flowers, grass blades, flies, you name it. It’s a haven, right in front of our eyes, lying wasted, waiting for our attention. But how would we get there?

“No problemo”, said Lazy Laurie with supreme self confidence. “A fence is simply an opportunity to try one’s jumping or digging skills”, she added. Lazy Laurie rocks. After carefully evaluating the inside fence, Lazy Laurie found a weakness in the design. There is a bench for the humans to sit on right by the fence. Under our admiring eyes, Lazy Laurie jumped on to the bench. She then proceeded to use the said bench as a launch pad to become airborne and land neatly in between the two fences. The rest of us quickly followed.

Once there, Lazy Laurie scouted the second fence, until she found a small hole in it. “Ahha”, said she. And in a thrice, we were out of the second fence and into the neighbor’s yard. Yumminess awaited us. We spent a blissful hour checking out the delicacies offered by the neighbors. We pulled worms, plucked flowers, caught flies and ran in the yard. It was so fun!

Lazy Laurie the chicken: Crazy Cookie is an optimist. She covered our escape. Let me bring the story back to earth and tell you what happened next. A bunch of youngsters from the neighbor’s house saw us! Luckily for us, and unluckily for them, they aren’t trained to catch us. We used our usual evasion tactics with great success with them. We darted about in all directions, while they tried to catch us. The young neighbors seem to love us. This isn’t surprising, humans usually love us in all forms. Alive, dead, on a stake, on grill, you name it! Since we preferred the option 1 (of staying alive) we weren’t about to let them catch us.

Things were going well for us. But then, this cute human rooster came by. He tried to catch us. My resolve weakened, and I froze for a second. He grabbed me (it’s spring time, we are broody, what can I say). I was proud (although a bit worried) to be the one to be grabbed! Luckily my human mom came by just then, and we were all taken back to our home and put in the safety of our coop. It was an exciting day. I penned a little poem in the memory of this adventure.

We the chickens loved the neighbor’s yard

We ate plenty of goodies, soft and hard

Until I was caught by the human rooster

Which was sad, but ooh! Such a confidence booster!

— Lazy Laurie

Kylo Ren the dog: I escaped too! The other day someone rang the doorbell. My mom was forgetful and she opened the door without locking me away. I ran to meet the stranger. I was going to get in my lean, mean mode. However, the visitor turned out to be a girl that looked like my Tanya. I got mellow at once and was wagging my tail and my entire butt around like a bumbling fool. But then I looked at the road. The sweet girl had come with a boy! He was waiting for her in the car. I was back to my mean self (in case you don’t know this, I don’t like boys). I growled and barked. Tanya held me by my collar but I strained to get away. Unluckily the visitors left and I was dragged back into the house.

Last but not the least, it was my birthday last Thursday. I turned 4! My family sang the “happy birthday” song. Oh joy! I went completely crazy with excitement! Tanya solemnly told me that I was four now and was no longer a boy, but a man(!). Leena said that she was going to call me Mr. Kylo from now onwards since I was grown up! I play-bit at their jaws to correct their misconceptions. I don’t intend to grow up any time soon. Before you leave, please don’t forget to check out the pictures below of my parents. I think I look a lot like my dad. He looked naughty (heh heh). But I have my mom’s classic German Shepherd coloring. You can say that I got the best of both my parents’ looks. You wouldn’t be wrong!

January is already behind us. It has been a whirlwind month. We got back from India on the 2nd and got into the swing of things very quickly. It felt like a cold month after the warm and sunny India.

Johan and I have been out and about quite a bit. We went to the camp for a long hike. We have also been going to the Corner room for breakfasts every Friday. It’s not as fun as our Zeno’s nights, but it will do.

Both Tanya and I got our ears pierced. So there was some painful excitement to make up for the cold weather. January is also a big birthday month for us. Leena had her 12th birthday with her friends at a trampoline park named Get Air, followed by lunch. Then I had my birthday. Johan and I went to Webster’s to hang out and eat lunch and in the evening we all went out for dinner at India Pavilion.

Of course, the most fun part about our birthdays are always the mornings when we sing happy birthday and the dogs howl! We had our traditional ceremonies for both the birthdays.

Johan bought a huge coal hauling truck from the junkyard and it was quite exciting to bring it to our place. The truck had sat unused for many years and there was no telling how it would perform. We pumped up the tires and put some hydraulic oil. Then Johan drove it while I followed him back. It was a bit of a hair-raising experience.

Kylo Ren the dog: A bit?! C’mon mom. It was a downright horror show. Here I thought I was the lucky one going on a car ride with my mom and dad. We ended up in the junkyard. I thought it was going to be a date with my girlfriend. Instead, dad started working on this monster truck and mom started helping him. I was on leash behind the truck.

Now there’s one thing you may not know about me. It’s a blip in my otherwise flawless character. I am really scared of the idea of getting left behind. So if there is a family car around, I want to be in that car. All of my being gets consumed with the idea of getting inside the said car. If I am not in the car, I am stressed. And when I am stressed, I throw all kinds of tantrums. These include, and are not limited to, whining, barking, crying, jumping, pacing, drooling. You get the picture.

I proceeded to do all of the above and more after I was tied to that monster truck. My mean mom and dad ignored me. When they were finally ready to leave, I jumped in the car! But my nightmare was far from over. Dad did not join me in the car. He went in the yellow monster truck. I was upset.

You may recall that I am really smart. My mom got another taste of my smarts that day. She noticed that I look at all the side roads for oncoming traffic. I even look up and down a train track to check if there is an oncoming train.

All my efforts and excitement got me very tired that afternoon. I was happy to get home and stretch in my crate. Here comes my dear wife Rosie. Over to her.

Rosie the dog: I am the heart and soul of birthdays at my household. As soon as the humans start the birthday song, I join in with gusto. I howl out my well rehearsed birthday song much to the delight of the birthday girl or boy. Even at my age, I rock the birthday celebrations much more than Kylo Ren. Also, thanks to me, we dogs got birthday presents wrapped in gift wrappers. They were mostly treats but Kylo Ren also got his old, chewed up toy wrapped up in a bit of paper. My silly husband Kylo Ren thought that the wrapper was the gift. He tore the wrapper apart, dropped his toy, and ran to his crate with the wrapper hanging from his mouth. Gawd.

Crazy Cookie the chicken: I am pleased with Leena. She has been giving us hot water every morning. Our coop is unheated. Mom insisted on not heating the coop for the fear that they may come to feed us one morning and find chicken barbaque (over done) from the accidental fires that coop heaters sometimes create. I am happy. I don’t fancy becoming chicken barbaque. But absent a heated coop, the daily servings of hot water are very welcome.

Oh yes, a baby Cooper Hawk has been hanging out in the pine tree in the backyard. I think he is after the sparrow or Blue Jay. At first we were wary of the hawk. But we soon realized that it was scared of us! So if it ever comes near, we flap our wings violently and the hawk quickly retreats in a far corner. Oh, time for bed. Good night!