Spring fever

The chicken excitedly flaps her wing
We hear happy songbirds sing
Their voices have a joyous ring
As they welcome the onset of spring.

We chickens breathe a sigh of relief
Hoping this warm spell won’t be brief
We ask Lazy Laurie, our chicken commander in chief
Whether she can smell spring in the leaf.

“Yes!” says Lazy Laurie, the wise
As she sniffs hard, and sighs
Triumphantly she declares, “Come on, you guys!
Winter is gone. Oh my! How time flies.”

We dream of dust baths, flies and worms
No more of the cold, snowy snowstorms
As we groom our feathers to top forms
It is time for us to break the norms.

The grass beckons. Alas! We are stuck in the coop
How do we escape our fenced run and its goop
Crazy Cookie, the chicken’s mind goes in a loop
As she lets out a loud whoop.

Oreo, the chicken stops and stares
“Crazy Cookie’s gone crazy”, she declares
“Quiet Junior!” Lazy Laurie glares
As Crazy Cookies’ temper flares.

Paisley, the smallest of us all
Pets Crazy Cookie, “Calm now, there’s a doll.”
A mellowed Crazy Cookie lets out a call
For a meeting in the egg laying hall.

Together we form a plan to escape
Emerging from the hall, our plans take shape
One chicken atop another until we make
A vertical chicken totem pole, a piece of cake.

Paisley, the lightest one, reaches high
Reaching a little gap, she yells "Aye"
She squeezes out, and exclaims “Oh my!”
As lush grass meets her eye.

But the first order of the day
Is to free her sisters, come what may
Lowering a rope to where her sisters lay
She pulls out Crazy Cookie, all the way.

Soon all we chickens wrestle free
Widening the gap, that’s how it must be
As we escape, we feel carefree
And devour on the grass, full of glee.

“What’s this!” the humans cry
Finding their chickens awry
Back to the pen! The chickens sigh
Waving the lush green grass goodbye.

"Don’t you worry, my dear friends
A new plan starts where the old one ends
Tomorrow we will try new offends."
Says Crazy Cookie, as to her feathers she tends.

Escape escapades

Crazy cookie the chicken: Lately we chickens have been the most adventurous of the whole lot of creatures at Elf land. So I get to start the blog of the day.

Our humans have a double fence system to keep us chickens inside the property. There is an inside fence with a gate. This is followed by an outside fence with a second gate. One would think this is enough barricade to keep four squawking hens from leaving their land. Well, one would think wrong! Allow me to elaborate with a most exciting story.

One fine day, Lazy Laurie was pecking around near the fence, when she suddenly saw something from the corner of her eye. On the other side of the fence, from the depths of the neighbor’s yard, emerged two juiciest and yummiest looking worms! Lazy Laurie’s eyes popped right out! She sent me on a mission. I was to watch the neighbor’s yard for the next couple of days and report my findings regarding the viability of the neighbor’s yard for free ranging.

After just one day of observation, I was able to give most favorable reports of the neighbor’s yard to Lazy Laurie and my other sisters. Not only is the neighboring yard full of juicy worms, it also has unpecked, untouched flowers, grass blades, flies, you name it. It’s a haven, right in front of our eyes, lying wasted, waiting for our attention. But how would we get there?

“No problemo”, said Lazy Laurie with supreme self confidence. “A fence is simply an opportunity to try one’s jumping or digging skills”, she added. Lazy Laurie rocks. After carefully evaluating the inside fence, Lazy Laurie found a weakness in the design. There is a bench for the humans to sit on right by the fence. Under our admiring eyes, Lazy Laurie jumped on to the bench. She then proceeded to use the said bench as a launch pad to become airborne and land neatly in between the two fences. The rest of us quickly followed.

Once there, Lazy Laurie scouted the second fence, until she found a small hole in it. “Ahha”, said she. And in a thrice, we were out of the second fence and into the neighbor’s yard. Yumminess awaited us. We spent a blissful hour checking out the delicacies offered by the neighbors. We pulled worms, plucked flowers, caught flies and ran in the yard. It was so fun!

Lazy Laurie the chicken: Crazy Cookie is an optimist. She covered our escape. Let me bring the story back to earth and tell you what happened next. A bunch of youngsters from the neighbor’s house saw us! Luckily for us, and unluckily for them, they aren’t trained to catch us. We used our usual evasion tactics with great success with them. We darted about in all directions, while they tried to catch us. The young neighbors seem to love us. This isn’t surprising, humans usually love us in all forms. Alive, dead, on a stake, on grill, you name it! Since we preferred the option 1 (of staying alive) we weren’t about to let them catch us.

Things were going well for us. But then, this cute human rooster came by. He tried to catch us. My resolve weakened, and I froze for a second. He grabbed me (it’s spring time, we are broody, what can I say). I was proud (although a bit worried) to be the one to be grabbed! Luckily my human mom came by just then, and we were all taken back to our home and put in the safety of our coop. It was an exciting day. I penned a little poem in the memory of this adventure.

We the chickens loved the neighbor’s yard

We ate plenty of goodies, soft and hard

Until I was caught by the human rooster

Which was sad, but ooh! Such a confidence booster!

— Lazy Laurie

Kylo Ren the dog: I escaped too! The other day someone rang the doorbell. My mom was forgetful and she opened the door without locking me away. I ran to meet the stranger. I was going to get in my lean, mean mode. However, the visitor turned out to be a girl that looked like my Tanya. I got mellow at once and was wagging my tail and my entire butt around like a bumbling fool. But then I looked at the road. The sweet girl had come with a boy! He was waiting for her in the car. I was back to my mean self (in case you don’t know this, I don’t like boys). I growled and barked. Tanya held me by my collar but I strained to get away. Unluckily the visitors left and I was dragged back into the house.

Last but not the least, it was my birthday last Thursday. I turned 4! My family sang the “happy birthday” song. Oh joy! I went completely crazy with excitement! Tanya solemnly told me that I was four now and was no longer a boy, but a man(!). Leena said that she was going to call me Mr. Kylo from now onwards since I was grown up! I play-bit at their jaws to correct their misconceptions. I don’t intend to grow up any time soon. Before you leave, please don’t forget to check out the pictures below of my parents. I think I look a lot like my dad. He looked naughty (heh heh). But I have my mom’s classic German Shepherd coloring. You can say that I got the best of both my parents’ looks. You wouldn’t be wrong!

Driving through March

March started off with the spring break. We spent three nights at the camp. This was a first. We cooked, read and hung out at the camp. It was a haven for the dogs. The kids and Kylo were gone for long stretches of time. The weather was rainy and wet, but that didn’t stop anyone from having a good time.

March was also unusual in a different way. We are not a movie going family. We watch movies at home. But we did see two movies this March. These were Kung Fu Panda 4 and Dune 2. Both were awesome and made for nice times.

Other than that it has been a lot of driving for us. Tanya is determined to get her driver’s license next month. We have been pushing to go driving every evening, and also mornings on weekends. That means we spend a lot of time in the car aimlessly driving around. She is making good progress.

As we get into spring, projects are beckoning. These include a much needed renovation of our kitchen countertop, insulation of Leena’s room and Tanya’s bus-mog camper project. The bus-mog is a vehicle that Johan has put together. It has a Unimog front and a school body, welded together. The bus-mog is being made into a camper. Tanya spent time insulating it to get the project further.

March ended with Easter, organized by EB Hopster the bunny. We had our usual chocolate and treat style fun.

Kylo Ren the dog: Let me tell you the most exciting thing that happened to me this month. In case you don’t know this about me yet, I am the official duck chaser of our household. Random Pennsylvania duck couples come to lay eggs by our backyard pond. Now, this might sound cute to you, but the ducks are no picnic. They tear up the carefully planted water plants and eat the goldfish in the pond. Plus they poop all over the place. So whenever the duck couple lands, my job is to go running to the pond in a tearing rage and frighten the bejesus out of them. It’s a lot of fun!

So the other day, I was out in the yard on my duck chasing duty with Leena. The ducks quickly flew away, leaving the hunter instinct in me dissatisfied. I wanted more! And so I looked around. And there was Lazy Laurie, the chicken, giving me her usual disdainful look. Lazy Laurie is brown, but that look made me see red! So I went after her in a tearing rage. I had her in my mouth and was going to do her in once and for all. Now, I always look at Leena as if she is a tiny, swattable insect, but she earned my respect that day. She yelled and ran in my direction, and just as I was about to take a bite out of Lazy Laurie, she put her fingers in my mouth and pulled so hard that I couldn’t shut my mouth! While I was trying to get my mouth free, Lazy Laurie ran in the coop. I went after her, but Baby the chicken puffed up and went at me. At that moment, feeling outnumbered, the fight went out of me. I went back to the house, only to be scolded big time by mom and locked up in the crate. What a sorry end to my adventure.

Lazy Laurie the chicken: Well folks, I happen to be the chicken of the month. I would have used the phrase, “the flavor of the season”, but “flavor” sounds a bit risky. As mentioned above by the monster Kylo Ren, he tried to kill me. My dearest human mom Leena saved my life. While I am number one on the pecking order, Leena certainly tops me in rank and status. Once Kylo Ren was overpowered and confined, Leena came back to find me. I was in a state of shock. My mouth was lolling about and my eyes were glassed over. She got worried and so she took me inside the house. There I got royally pampered right in front of Kylo Ren’s nose. I was first hugged and sang to by mom. When that didn’t do the trick, they got me some cream and butter to eat. Seeing fresh cream got me back to my senses. I greedily ate some. My humans were so happy that they gave me multiple helpings of cream, followed by bird feed. I am happy to report that at the end of my feeding, I was back to feeling normal, and was able to join my sisters in the yard once again.

I was once again the star of the show when the humans had a bit of a nasty surprise in the form of some spring bugs emerging from their basement into their living room. Their usual course of action would be vacuuming followed by bleach cleaning. However, after years of living with us, they have gotten sufficiently trained to consider me as their first line of defense. So they brought me in.

You may not know this about me, but along with being chicken number one on the pecking order, I possess some additional qualities that set me apart. They include my fastidious attention to detail, my pro active nature and inclination to take initiative. Corporate America could learn a whole lot from me. Using the above-mentioned traits, I went about my pest control job with diligence. Carefully and painstakingly, I picked up and ate every last bug that had dared to invade my human family’s coop. My humans were most impressed. Imagine being impressed by my ability to eat (hehe). Humans are easy to impress. I am happy to report, that following my pest control and their clean up, the human home is now bug free.

EB Hopster the bunny: Hello there. Before calling it a day, a word from me. I am, after all, the animal of the month. No easter month can be complete without a blog from me.

To the uninitiated, I am EB Hopster. EB stands for, you guessed it, Easter Bunny. I go all over America and Europe leaving chocolate eggs and various treats for kids on Easter day. If you have been especially good, I leave a note for you to read. You can find one such note in the pictures below. This year, at Elf land, I was helped by my Elf assistant Tanya, who explained the layout of the land to me, so that I could leave treats in appropriate locations. I made sure that Easter at Elf Land was a success. Thanks for the applause. Time for me to destroy some tulips.