The Chicken Coop Winter Party

The bells jingle, winter lights gleam
The cold sets in, hot chocolates steam
We chickens love this time of year
Of fun, joy, happiness and cheer.

We peek in the yard, happy children run
Christmas tree arrives, how very fun
“It’s all nice and dandy.” Oreo says
“But how do we celebrate these festive days?”

Oreo’s words make Paisley mope
Christmas fun seems beyond our scope
“Fear not!” Lazy Laurie cries
A wild look crosses her keen eyes.

“We’ll have a party!” Lazy declares
“With lights and feast, peels and pears.
Invite the human girls!” she states
“We’ll decorate and use our very best plates!”

Crazy Cookie sighs, Paisley shivers
Such bold plans stress out our livers
But Oreo thinks this is a grand plan
She gets out a pen from her personal can.

Finding a paper, Lazy Laurie writes
“You are invited after two nights
Come, dear girls, to celebrate
Christmas with us, behind the crate.”

“We appreciate all you do for us
You take care of us without a fuss
We would now like to return the favor.
Together we party, yummy food we savor.”

The next morning Leena gets a surprise
What’s this note? She can’t believe her eyes
“Tanya!” she yells, running to the house
Her wild cries stun the birds and the mouse.

“What’s going on?” asks Tanya, very confused
“Can you stop yelling? My ears feel bruised.”
Wordlessly Leena hands her the note
As Tanya reads, she drops her tote.

“We knew they could talk. But this is nuts
These crazy chickens have a lot of guts!”
Nods Leena, “I guess it’s time to party”
Let’s hope they serve a meal that’s hearty!”

The party is today, the chickens work hard
They decorate their coop with stuff from the yard
Berries and pine needles, yummy delights
Lazy Laurie even pulls out a stash of lights.

Evening comes near, Paisley lays the plates
With peels and cheese and bits of dates
The coop looks festive as the girls arrive
They look surprised! The chickens high-five.

The girls sit on the rocks, while the chickens serve
Their beautiful plates with enthusiasm and verve
The girls look worried, as they politely eat
A piece of bread, topped with a peel of beet.

Leena has a plan. From her pocket she sneaks
A cookie. Taking a bite she fills her cheeks
The move does not escape the chicken eye
Lazy Laurie squawks, making Oreo fly.

A peck on her knee catches Leena unawares
She yells, drops the cookie, now its theirs
Before Leena can move, Oreo responds
Picking up the cookie, she rapidly absconds.

Next thing, we chickens fall in a pile
Lazy Laurie lands a kick, Kungfu style
Taking charge, she then bellows
To drive some sense in her chicken fellows.

Moving the chickens, the cookie she picks
Carefully she breaks it into equal parts of six.
As the girls gawk, she carefully picks each part
And serves it to everyone. Now isn’t she smart?

For winter is a time for love and sharing
“Time for us to show we can be caring!”
Her sisters nod. The human girls smile
They dig in their pockets in great style.

Out comes a bag of treats galore.
Fruits and pies, melons and more
We chickens stare, together we thank
Our lovely girls whom we must never prank.

And thus we eat, drink and share
We cuddle the girls to show we care
The night descends, the dog arrives
The party ends, it was a time of our lives.

The girls say good night, we give a hug
Paisley gives Tanya’s sleeve a tug
As she gives them a present, our favorite rock
With many thanks, our coop they lock.

Well, my sisters, have a very good night
Sleep well. Together we cuddle tight
As we watch the happy girls go home
“That’s the spirit!” shouts the garden gnome.

Paisley’s Fall Adventure

The leaves turn golden, the evenings grey
Summer is gone, fall is here to stay
We chickens feel droopy, sleepy, and all
As we slowly get used to the early nightfall.

Lazy Laurie is beginning to molt
Her plucked look gives quite a jolt
While Crazy Cookie covers the cracks with hay
“Gotta stop the draft,” she tells the blue jay.

Oreo, the biggest amongst us girls
Cleans her feathers, the ends she curls
While Paisley is worried, scared of the dark
Any noise makes her jump, even the dog’s bark.

“Now, dear Paisley, there’s nothing to fear
There are no ghosts, it’s wind you hear.”
Oreo tries her best to cheer Paisley up
As she stirs up the ice and water in her cup.

Try as she might, Paisley is not appeased
Lazy Laurie the leader looks none too pleased
Crazy Cookie laughs, her wings she beats
Says, “Wait until the night of trick and treats!”

“For you will see witches, ghouls and ghosts
Frankenstein and lions, in every corner and outposts.”
Paisley stares. Her feathers stand on ends
She marvels at the fearlessness of her friends.

“Quiet, Crazy!” Lazy Laurie frowns and scolds
As a shivering Paisley she cuddles and holds
“Halloween is a time of frolic and fun
And dress up and treats for everyone!”

“Wouldn’t it be fun if we all dressed up?
Went out trick or treating? I would dress as a pup!”
Says Oreo, as she stares at Paisley in delight
“You could be a raven! You are dark as the night!”

Paisley stares at the sky, thinking hard
“I would love to be a raven and fly about the yard.”
Laughs Crazy Cookie, “Well, what do you know?
Find a wolf partner, and trick or treating you go!”

“For wolves and ravens make the best of friends
They play, they share food, and other odds and ends.”
We chickens laugh and jest as the evening light streams
As the night falls slowly. Paisley sleeps and dreams.

The day of trick or treating is finally here
The kids dress up in their Halloween gear
We chickens feel the excitement in the air
We peek out of the coop. Did we just see a bear?!

A movement at the door catches Paisley’s eye
She stares and then she lets out a cry
For she has just spotted a wolf at the door
“My best friend!” she yells, shaken to the core.

Right before our eyes Paisley runs to the fence
She pushes at a rock! Has she lost all her sense?
Before we know it, she has moved the rock aside
To reveal an escape hole that is not too wide.

Little Paisley squeezes out and is gone in a flash
We rush behind her, into the hole we smash 
Alas! We are too big to squeeze through
We wring our wings. There’s not much we can do.

The night falls! We hope Paisley returns
Oreo is sad, for her friend she yearns
Just as we are about to give up hope
Paisley is here. No longer we mope.

Lazy Laurie scolds, Crazy Cookie shrugs
As Paisley looks guilty, Oreo hugs
“Sorry sisters. I know I was wrong. 
But it was time to explore and come back strong!”

“I followed the wolf. We went for a hunt
Door to door. Back to front
The wolf and I made a perfect team
And that’s not all!” Paisley’s eyes gleam.

She raises her wing. A bag drops
Looking inside Oreo’s eye pops
For treats await, sweet and sour
Paisley is the chicken of the hour.

We laugh, we squeal, we grab bites
Of Paisley’s stash of yummy delights
As Paisley recounts her Halloween walk
We listen, munching, our eyes agog.

At last, it is time for bed
Our happy bellies feel well fed
“Good night ladies. Paisley, great job!
You are now the chicken coop heartthrob.”

Drawings by: Leena Zwart aged 13

Kylo Ren, the supreme leader, awakens

Kylo Ren the dog: Woof! Howdy? My mom has been keeping the computer away from me. I haven’t been able to blog at all. Hmph. So, this afternoon, I lay on my back with my paws hanging mid air, playing dead, or at least, fast asleep. My people thought I was oh, so cute. They got groggy looking at me, lying there. Soon, mom passed out on the couch, as I watched from the corner of my half closed eye.

The snore was my cue. I was up in a thrice, sneaking over to the computer. Mom stirred a bit, so I pulled the blanket over her and gave her a fuzzy nuzzle. There, there. I even tucked a little stuffie in the blanket. Satisfied, mom resumed snoring while I crept over to the computer.

My last post was back in November about kickboxing. I am getting some serious FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out). So, here I am, writing about my life story since the past few months.

The winter was largely dull, other than some brief excitement in December when I couldn’t stop pooping and ended up in the hospital. My dad wanted to come in the examination room, but the hospital staff insisted on taking me without my humans. So I got some fun out of that, terrorizing the poor staff members. My fun was finally over when they put me under to do tests on me. I was sleepy for two days after that. Tanya told me later that all they did at the hospital was to put water in my body using a needle. Wow! $1000 for that?! I could have drunk that much water instead and bought treats with the $1000. My humans are sweet, but easily duped.

Christmas came around. I ate as much as I could beg my masters out of. Gingerbread houses, cookies, treats wrapped in wrapping paper, the wrapping paper itself, you name it!

Unfortunately our year ended badly with dad falling off a ladder and ripping his shoulder. He had to go to the hospital after that, and unlike in the dog world, in the human world, it is the doctor who terrorizes the patient. Dad should have taken me along, like I begged him to, but no one listens to me around here. Hmph.

Winter was very cold. The chickens were freezing their butts outside. Leena took to leaving boiling hot water in their coops. If it was up to me, I would have boiled the chicken in the water and had a nice warm soup, but no one listens to me around here (did I mention that before?)

Just when I thought I would die from boredom, Paisley, the screamy chicken, added some excitement by almost getting eaten by a predator. I will let her tell her story, but she spent about ten days in the house, giving me something to sniff and poke at, while I tried to pass the time.

And then, just like that, my luck changed. Suddenly two new people appeared in the house who I could terrorize! Woah! I couldn’t believe my luck. These people smelt and looked a bit strange, so I wasn’t sure about my attack tactic. I heard that they were from a far off place called India. What’s more, they were mom’s parents. Ok, interesting. I tried to get up close and personal, but my family played spoilsport as usual and kept me away.

When the new people did not leave after seeing me, my attitude slowly shifted from seeing them as a threat, to a potential expansion of the pack. The urge to include them in the pack became greater when I noticed some very positive traits of the new arrivals. They tended to give me a last bite of whatever meal they were having. Wow! My beggar instinct came fully alive as I started following the new people. Tanya and Leena called them Nana and Nani. If it is good enough for them, it is good enough for me. So, Nana and Nani they are.

I love Nani. Absolutely. I like Nana too, but Nani cooks. She makes these flat breads called roti, and guess what?! She always makes one for me. When I get this butter covered delight I am in seventh heaven.

Now, being a supreme leader, my natural instinct is to ignore people when they call me. But I never ignore Nana and Nani if they call me. Because I know, treats await. I go, I sit, I drool, I beg, and I chomp. Can’t complain. Life’s good.

Backyard Chicken Summer Escape

The sun shines upon our wings
We chickens roll around in dust
Happiness tugging our heartstrings
As our feathers dance in a gust.

We love that summer is finally here
Feels like we waited far too long
For the hot sun. Best time of the year!
The birds sing a happy summer song.

Lazy Laurie is being lazy
Oreo swings in the hanging chair
The slow days drive Crazy Cookie crazy
While Paisley lays eggs everywhere.

Crazy Cookie retreats in a nook
Taking with her a few sturdy twigs
Unaware that Oreo is stealing a look
As she works hard, draws and digs.

Oreo puzzles as Crazy Cookie works
Her careful drawings make no sense
A projectile? A plank? Her head jerks
Did Crazy Cookie just draw the garden fence?

A loud voice from behind! Oreo jumps
“A plan behind my back?” Lazy Laurie stares
Pointing at Crazy, Oreo backs and slumps
Showing she knows nothing of Crazy’s affairs.

“What’s this, Crazy Cookie?” asks Lazy Laurie
“Why am I not in the loop?”
A guilty faced Crazy Cookie says, “Sorry.
But life is more than the yard and the coop.”

Paisley comes over, curious at all the fuss
Crazy Cookie climbs the garden bench
Pointing her twig at her art to discuss
Her new plan which sounds very French.

“Using this trebuchet, or catapult, if you will
The plan is to fly over the fence and run
We could go for a walk, try the neighbor’s dill
Its high time we had some adventure and fun.”

Paisley stops midway from her egg lay
Lazy Laurie holds her heart and sighs
While Oreo stares in utter dismay
There’s a wild look in Crazy Cookie’s eyes.

“Told you she’s crazy!” whispers Oreo
Paisley nods and shakes her head.
Lazy Laurie evaluates this new scenario
While Crazy Cookie gets supplies from the shed.

A large plank, and a big rock
Makes the perfect chicken see saw
Climbing at one end, she yells a command squawk
Oreo and Paisley obey, full of awe.

Screaming a loud and a strong war cry
Oreo and Paisley jump at the other end
Making Crazy Cookie fly in the sky
And into the neighbor’s yard, they send.

Next up is Lazy Laurie, just as before
Oreo and Paisley know the drill 
Sending her flying is no chore
Easy peasy with their fine jumping skill.

Paisley is light as a feather
Big Oreo makes a huge jump
Sure enough! In the neighbor’s heather
Paisley lands on a soft lump.

Now Oreo is in a bit of a fix
No one left to propel her over
From the neighbors comes a flying brick
Propelling Oreo! She ends up in clover.

The mouse claps, the birds cheer
The bunnies bow with silent respect
The squirrel smiles from ear to ear
As we chickens move about and inspect.

Herbs and berries! Delights await
Our eyes pop, our mouths water
We cheer Crazy Cookie the great
The vegetable patch we slaughter.

A bark ends our summer fun
Flying comes the neighbor’s dog
Quick! Atop the trampoline we run
The fast dog jumps too, mouth agog.

He lands on the trampoline, oh my!
We chickens have nowhere to go
What’s this? His leap makes us fly
Over the fence, away from our foe.

Back in our yard, safe and sound
We cluck as the defeated dog barks
We declare Crazy Cookie crowned
As summer queen of us matriarchs.

The Rosie Era ends

Rosie dog passed away yesterday at the ripe old age of 15.5 years. It was a rollercoaster day with lots of very strong emotions. I wanted to document it before the feelings fade.

Rosie had been drinking excess quantities of water lately. We weren’t sure why. She would not drink much during the day, but would start drinking bowls after bowls in the evening and at night. As we now know, this marked the beginning of the end.

Friday was a good day for her. We made sure she drank water during they day (by adding some milk into her water, which she loved). She also walked around the house on her own, following Leena as Leena offered her treats. Rosie seemed happy and animated. She ate normally.

However, Johan had been saying that her abdomen makes noises and also she panted, apparently in pain. On Saturday morning, her stomach was very bloated. She looked out of it. She didn’t care about treats. It didn’t look good. Johan and the girls went for breakfast and Rosie was outside the door. I sat by her to keep an eye. At some moment, she got very uncomfortable and could not find a comfortable position. She was trying to throw up and also crying. That was the moment that the thought went across my mind, this was not life anymore, but rather a painful wait for death.

Johan, Leena and Kylo came home. I told Johan what he already knew. She needed to be put down. It was Saturday but luckily our vet was open until noon. We got a noon appointment (with death). I called Tanya who took the day off from her work at Webster’s cafe and came home. Her boss, Elaine, knows Rosie since Rosie was a pup, and must have been sad. On a side note, we had first met Rosie outside Webster’s! She had shown up frolicking about with her foster mom when she was three months old.

By now everyone was in tears. Rosie was very uncomfortable. Leena was upset because she didn’t think we should wait until 12. Anyway, we all minus Kylo Ren got into the van. We drove out into the country. Rosie calmed down a bit as we drove. The movement of the van must have made her feel better.

The last 1.5 hours driving around with Rosie were very beautiful. It was a sunny fall day. When we first left home at 10:15 am or so, we thought of trying to find a different vet. However, when Rosie looked calm in the van, we just decided to drive around until noon. So that’s what we did. This was a time we will cherish. We were quietly watching outside, sometimes crying, coming to terms and feeling Rosie. We even stopped somewhere in the fields. Johan got Rosie out hoping she would like to pee. But Rosie was done. She just sat there. She was momentarily calm, laying in the sun.

At noon we were at the vet. The vet, Susan, is an elderly lady who I haven’t met. I don’t enter veterinary clinics as a rule due to my cat allergies. Anyway, Susan came with her walker. She had graciously agreed to put Rosie down in our van itself. As we held Rosie, Susan gave her the first shot which would get Rosie to fall asleep. After about 10 minutes, she gave her the shot to stop her heart. Susan was very sweet, and even hugged Rosie as she passed.

It’s too difficult to describe all that we went through at those moments, so I won’t try. But along with grief, we were worried if her passing would be calm and painless. To our relief, it was. We drove home with our beloved friend to bury her. Once home we decided to let Kylo see Rosie and understand what happened. So we placed her in the living and then let Kylo go to her.

Kylo Ren the dog: Thanks mom. I will take it from here (respectfully). So yes. There was a lot going on yesterday. Rosie was not well. I tried to get her up and running but it wasn’t working. She wasn’t peeing. I could smell it inside her body. That’s a bad sign. The family left. When they got back I ran to the living room. But there laid Rosie and she wouldn’t move. I was overwhelmed with concern and fear. I started nudging and pawing at her to get her moving. My family thought I was being too aggressive and tried to hold me back. But for once I wasn’t having it. I ignored them and even fought them to get to my lovely wife and friend. But no amount of pawing or nudging would move her. Everyone was upset, and I was crying.

My family started digging a hole. I helped a bit but this was all too crazy for me. After a couple of hours they put Rosie in it. Once again, I tried my best to get her out of this very dire situation. But they insisted. I was shivering and trembling and crying. But in my heart I knew. Rosie was gone. It was a depressing day. I try to keep the spirits up with my antics. I hope Rosie is finally in a painless place.

September in India and Elfland

September brought it’s share of excitement for me. Once the kids were in school, I took a two week trip to India. I had figured that it was a good time to take off while weather in State College was still ok.

Leaving State College without the girls turned out to be not the easiest thing. The idea of going so far away bore down on me as I drove in the middle of night to Washington DC to catch my flight. Putting my worries aside, I boarded the flight for an 18 hour trip to India via Doha (Qatar airways). Qatar airways was adequate with super short layovers, although this caused some stress on my way back since the flight from Hyderabad to Doha was delayed.

Sis, mom and dad picked me up at the Hyderabad airport. We went to mom’s place. Ganesh puja festival was going on in India. There were statues of Lord Ganesh everywhere. My parents’ apartment complex had one, with cultural events every evening.

My hope was to get some stuff organized for parents so that they would be more comfortable there. I must say I was happy with all the things I was able to do towards that goal in the two weeks. It was a packed schedule with shopping for clothes for mom (and some for the girls to take back with me), buying appliances, managing their paperwork and even getting them to buy tickets to visit us in April next year. I was very pleased with how things went.

Once home, I was thrilled to see all the progress made at home. Leena’s room was finished and painted, which is quite an achievement, since you could see insulation when I had left home. Johan finished insulating, and he and Wayne did drywalling and painting. Amazing. Johan and the girls had also worked hard at cleaning up stuff in various parts of the house and the end result was great! Tanya has an arm band now in kickboxing which means she is ahead of me in class! She seems quite pleased about that!

I have been moving along since back home, trying to get the house organized and my first children’s book going. It should see the light of day next year. Excited about my progress!

Kylo Ren the dog: Hmph! Despite the fact that I am very smart, no one ever asks for my opinion. Did mom ask if I was okay with her leaving and travelling off to some far off place? No! Luckily for Leena I didn’t starve. But let me tell you, my care was less than premium, and I could definitely feel the lowered standards. Once mom was back, I let her know exactly what I thought of her disappearance. A few bites did the trick. With mom, it’s easy. All I have to do is to place my cold and wet nose anywhere on her bare skin. She shrieks and I immediately get the pleasure of exacting my revenge.

Lately I have been getting in trouble for no reason whatsoever. My family says I am too pushy with my snout. But all I do is show love, when it is absolutely necessary. Like the times when Tanya leaves me for two whole minutes. When she comes back, I feel that it is my duty to tell her how much I missed her. But when I try, she gets all mad. Not fair. I bet other dogs aren’t left alone for such long periods of time. Ohh, here comes the Queen bee, Grandma Rosie!

Rosie the dog: What?!! Grandma?! Don’t you forget that you are my husband. That would make you grandpa. Hehe. Actually that makes sense. I am still sassier than you even at the ripe age of 15. Grandpa!

While I have been a happy go lucky 15 year old, lately my family has developed a strange and annoying habit. They like to pick me up in the air. They pick up my entire body and hold me. This is because I have lost a lot of weight, so now they treat me like a stuffed toy or something. But after being suspended in air for a couple of minutes, I remind them that I am no stuffed bunny. I bare my teeth most menacingly and snap and bark viciously. They get alarmed and put me down. I like being down. In fact my favorite position these days is to be as far down as possible, sleeping 22 hours a day outside in the sun. The last two hours are spent eating and barking at random people to incite Kylo into barking.

Oreo the chicken: Hello Rosie. May I have the keyboard? Oh! She is asleep. My turn! Hello, dear readers. I am here to make my debut into the world of blogging. The older hens have been bragging about the wonderful blogs they have written, and the wonderful places that they have visited. Paisley and I turn green with envy, but thankfully, since a lot of our feathers are black in color, the envious green stays hidden. It won’t do to show envy. Our pecking order stats can take a hit!

Let me tell you the story of Paisley and I. We were born and raised in the Bald Eagle area. We are one year old. Although we lived out in the boonies and can be considered to have had an idyllic childhood, reality is far from imagination. We lived with a few other chickens and a couple of nasty roosters. Every day was war. As a result, we have some trust issues. Our owner got some new peeps. One day we heard her talking with her husband that they want to downsize our brood. The hubby looked appetized and we smelt danger! One fine day our owner caught Paisley and me and put us in a dog crate. “This is it”, I thought. We are soup! But life had other plans for us. Soon people came by and took us in plastic containers to a new backyard that had three other chickens. These people named us Paisley and Oreo and wisely kept us separated from those scary older birds. They would try to socialize us by getting us together in the yard. The older hens made several planned attacks on us. However, they were foiled by the humans who sprayed them with a water gun! I am happy to say that I am now well assimilated into the group and am also getting warm and comfortable with the humans. Paisley is a whole different story!

Paisley the chicken: I yell! Yes, that’s my specialty. I let out such a shriek that humans get temporarily disoriented and confused. While they are figuring out what just happened, I use all my evasive and maneuvering skills to get away from the humans.

That said, I do get close to the humans. I am curious about them, but like to play it safe. I am slim and beautiful. I have been told that I have beautiful eyes (ahem). However, my slender build has placed me lowest in the pecking order. Sigh! If not for Oreo, I don’t know if I would ever get any food. Oreo is big. She almost looks like a turkey. Oh I am so glad she is my friend and protector!

Escape escapades

Crazy cookie the chicken: Lately we chickens have been the most adventurous of the whole lot of creatures at Elf land. So I get to start the blog of the day.

Our humans have a double fence system to keep us chickens inside the property. There is an inside fence with a gate. This is followed by an outside fence with a second gate. One would think this is enough barricade to keep four squawking hens from leaving their land. Well, one would think wrong! Allow me to elaborate with a most exciting story.

One fine day, Lazy Laurie was pecking around near the fence, when she suddenly saw something from the corner of her eye. On the other side of the fence, from the depths of the neighbor’s yard, emerged two juiciest and yummiest looking worms! Lazy Laurie’s eyes popped right out! She sent me on a mission. I was to watch the neighbor’s yard for the next couple of days and report my findings regarding the viability of the neighbor’s yard for free ranging.

After just one day of observation, I was able to give most favorable reports of the neighbor’s yard to Lazy Laurie and my other sisters. Not only is the neighboring yard full of juicy worms, it also has unpecked, untouched flowers, grass blades, flies, you name it. It’s a haven, right in front of our eyes, lying wasted, waiting for our attention. But how would we get there?

“No problemo”, said Lazy Laurie with supreme self confidence. “A fence is simply an opportunity to try one’s jumping or digging skills”, she added. Lazy Laurie rocks. After carefully evaluating the inside fence, Lazy Laurie found a weakness in the design. There is a bench for the humans to sit on right by the fence. Under our admiring eyes, Lazy Laurie jumped on to the bench. She then proceeded to use the said bench as a launch pad to become airborne and land neatly in between the two fences. The rest of us quickly followed.

Once there, Lazy Laurie scouted the second fence, until she found a small hole in it. “Ahha”, said she. And in a thrice, we were out of the second fence and into the neighbor’s yard. Yumminess awaited us. We spent a blissful hour checking out the delicacies offered by the neighbors. We pulled worms, plucked flowers, caught flies and ran in the yard. It was so fun!

Lazy Laurie the chicken: Crazy Cookie is an optimist. She covered our escape. Let me bring the story back to earth and tell you what happened next. A bunch of youngsters from the neighbor’s house saw us! Luckily for us, and unluckily for them, they aren’t trained to catch us. We used our usual evasion tactics with great success with them. We darted about in all directions, while they tried to catch us. The young neighbors seem to love us. This isn’t surprising, humans usually love us in all forms. Alive, dead, on a stake, on grill, you name it! Since we preferred the option 1 (of staying alive) we weren’t about to let them catch us.

Things were going well for us. But then, this cute human rooster came by. He tried to catch us. My resolve weakened, and I froze for a second. He grabbed me (it’s spring time, we are broody, what can I say). I was proud (although a bit worried) to be the one to be grabbed! Luckily my human mom came by just then, and we were all taken back to our home and put in the safety of our coop. It was an exciting day. I penned a little poem in the memory of this adventure.

We the chickens loved the neighbor’s yard

We ate plenty of goodies, soft and hard

Until I was caught by the human rooster

Which was sad, but ooh! Such a confidence booster!

— Lazy Laurie

Kylo Ren the dog: I escaped too! The other day someone rang the doorbell. My mom was forgetful and she opened the door without locking me away. I ran to meet the stranger. I was going to get in my lean, mean mode. However, the visitor turned out to be a girl that looked like my Tanya. I got mellow at once and was wagging my tail and my entire butt around like a bumbling fool. But then I looked at the road. The sweet girl had come with a boy! He was waiting for her in the car. I was back to my mean self (in case you don’t know this, I don’t like boys). I growled and barked. Tanya held me by my collar but I strained to get away. Unluckily the visitors left and I was dragged back into the house.

Last but not the least, it was my birthday last Thursday. I turned 4! My family sang the “happy birthday” song. Oh joy! I went completely crazy with excitement! Tanya solemnly told me that I was four now and was no longer a boy, but a man(!). Leena said that she was going to call me Mr. Kylo from now onwards since I was grown up! I play-bit at their jaws to correct their misconceptions. I don’t intend to grow up any time soon. Before you leave, please don’t forget to check out the pictures below of my parents. I think I look a lot like my dad. He looked naughty (heh heh). But I have my mom’s classic German Shepherd coloring. You can say that I got the best of both my parents’ looks. You wouldn’t be wrong!

Driving through March

March started off with the spring break. We spent three nights at the camp. This was a first. We cooked, read and hung out at the camp. It was a haven for the dogs. The kids and Kylo were gone for long stretches of time. The weather was rainy and wet, but that didn’t stop anyone from having a good time.

March was also unusual in a different way. We are not a movie going family. We watch movies at home. But we did see two movies this March. These were Kung Fu Panda 4 and Dune 2. Both were awesome and made for nice times.

Other than that it has been a lot of driving for us. Tanya is determined to get her driver’s license next month. We have been pushing to go driving every evening, and also mornings on weekends. That means we spend a lot of time in the car aimlessly driving around. She is making good progress.

As we get into spring, projects are beckoning. These include a much needed renovation of our kitchen countertop, insulation of Leena’s room and Tanya’s bus-mog camper project. The bus-mog is a vehicle that Johan has put together. It has a Unimog front and a school body, welded together. The bus-mog is being made into a camper. Tanya spent time insulating it to get the project further.

March ended with Easter, organized by EB Hopster the bunny. We had our usual chocolate and treat style fun.

Kylo Ren the dog: Let me tell you the most exciting thing that happened to me this month. In case you don’t know this about me yet, I am the official duck chaser of our household. Random Pennsylvania duck couples come to lay eggs by our backyard pond. Now, this might sound cute to you, but the ducks are no picnic. They tear up the carefully planted water plants and eat the goldfish in the pond. Plus they poop all over the place. So whenever the duck couple lands, my job is to go running to the pond in a tearing rage and frighten the bejesus out of them. It’s a lot of fun!

So the other day, I was out in the yard on my duck chasing duty with Leena. The ducks quickly flew away, leaving the hunter instinct in me dissatisfied. I wanted more! And so I looked around. And there was Lazy Laurie, the chicken, giving me her usual disdainful look. Lazy Laurie is brown, but that look made me see red! So I went after her in a tearing rage. I had her in my mouth and was going to do her in once and for all. Now, I always look at Leena as if she is a tiny, swattable insect, but she earned my respect that day. She yelled and ran in my direction, and just as I was about to take a bite out of Lazy Laurie, she put her fingers in my mouth and pulled so hard that I couldn’t shut my mouth! While I was trying to get my mouth free, Lazy Laurie ran in the coop. I went after her, but Baby the chicken puffed up and went at me. At that moment, feeling outnumbered, the fight went out of me. I went back to the house, only to be scolded big time by mom and locked up in the crate. What a sorry end to my adventure.

Lazy Laurie the chicken: Well folks, I happen to be the chicken of the month. I would have used the phrase, “the flavor of the season”, but “flavor” sounds a bit risky. As mentioned above by the monster Kylo Ren, he tried to kill me. My dearest human mom Leena saved my life. While I am number one on the pecking order, Leena certainly tops me in rank and status. Once Kylo Ren was overpowered and confined, Leena came back to find me. I was in a state of shock. My mouth was lolling about and my eyes were glassed over. She got worried and so she took me inside the house. There I got royally pampered right in front of Kylo Ren’s nose. I was first hugged and sang to by mom. When that didn’t do the trick, they got me some cream and butter to eat. Seeing fresh cream got me back to my senses. I greedily ate some. My humans were so happy that they gave me multiple helpings of cream, followed by bird feed. I am happy to report that at the end of my feeding, I was back to feeling normal, and was able to join my sisters in the yard once again.

I was once again the star of the show when the humans had a bit of a nasty surprise in the form of some spring bugs emerging from their basement into their living room. Their usual course of action would be vacuuming followed by bleach cleaning. However, after years of living with us, they have gotten sufficiently trained to consider me as their first line of defense. So they brought me in.

You may not know this about me, but along with being chicken number one on the pecking order, I possess some additional qualities that set me apart. They include my fastidious attention to detail, my pro active nature and inclination to take initiative. Corporate America could learn a whole lot from me. Using the above-mentioned traits, I went about my pest control job with diligence. Carefully and painstakingly, I picked up and ate every last bug that had dared to invade my human family’s coop. My humans were most impressed. Imagine being impressed by my ability to eat (hehe). Humans are easy to impress. I am happy to report, that following my pest control and their clean up, the human home is now bug free.

EB Hopster the bunny: Hello there. Before calling it a day, a word from me. I am, after all, the animal of the month. No easter month can be complete without a blog from me.

To the uninitiated, I am EB Hopster. EB stands for, you guessed it, Easter Bunny. I go all over America and Europe leaving chocolate eggs and various treats for kids on Easter day. If you have been especially good, I leave a note for you to read. You can find one such note in the pictures below. This year, at Elf land, I was helped by my Elf assistant Tanya, who explained the layout of the land to me, so that I could leave treats in appropriate locations. I made sure that Easter at Elf Land was a success. Thanks for the applause. Time for me to destroy some tulips.

January at the Elf land

January is already behind us. It has been a whirlwind month. We got back from India on the 2nd and got into the swing of things very quickly. It felt like a cold month after the warm and sunny India.

Johan and I have been out and about quite a bit. We went to the camp for a long hike. We have also been going to the Corner room for breakfasts every Friday. It’s not as fun as our Zeno’s nights, but it will do.

Both Tanya and I got our ears pierced. So there was some painful excitement to make up for the cold weather. January is also a big birthday month for us. Leena had her 12th birthday with her friends at a trampoline park named Get Air, followed by lunch. Then I had my birthday. Johan and I went to Webster’s to hang out and eat lunch and in the evening we all went out for dinner at India Pavilion.

Of course, the most fun part about our birthdays are always the mornings when we sing happy birthday and the dogs howl! We had our traditional ceremonies for both the birthdays.

Johan bought a huge coal hauling truck from the junkyard and it was quite exciting to bring it to our place. The truck had sat unused for many years and there was no telling how it would perform. We pumped up the tires and put some hydraulic oil. Then Johan drove it while I followed him back. It was a bit of a hair-raising experience.

Kylo Ren the dog: A bit?! C’mon mom. It was a downright horror show. Here I thought I was the lucky one going on a car ride with my mom and dad. We ended up in the junkyard. I thought it was going to be a date with my girlfriend. Instead, dad started working on this monster truck and mom started helping him. I was on leash behind the truck.

Now there’s one thing you may not know about me. It’s a blip in my otherwise flawless character. I am really scared of the idea of getting left behind. So if there is a family car around, I want to be in that car. All of my being gets consumed with the idea of getting inside the said car. If I am not in the car, I am stressed. And when I am stressed, I throw all kinds of tantrums. These include, and are not limited to, whining, barking, crying, jumping, pacing, drooling. You get the picture.

I proceeded to do all of the above and more after I was tied to that monster truck. My mean mom and dad ignored me. When they were finally ready to leave, I jumped in the car! But my nightmare was far from over. Dad did not join me in the car. He went in the yellow monster truck. I was upset.

You may recall that I am really smart. My mom got another taste of my smarts that day. She noticed that I look at all the side roads for oncoming traffic. I even look up and down a train track to check if there is an oncoming train.

All my efforts and excitement got me very tired that afternoon. I was happy to get home and stretch in my crate. Here comes my dear wife Rosie. Over to her.

Rosie the dog: I am the heart and soul of birthdays at my household. As soon as the humans start the birthday song, I join in with gusto. I howl out my well rehearsed birthday song much to the delight of the birthday girl or boy. Even at my age, I rock the birthday celebrations much more than Kylo Ren. Also, thanks to me, we dogs got birthday presents wrapped in gift wrappers. They were mostly treats but Kylo Ren also got his old, chewed up toy wrapped up in a bit of paper. My silly husband Kylo Ren thought that the wrapper was the gift. He tore the wrapper apart, dropped his toy, and ran to his crate with the wrapper hanging from his mouth. Gawd.

Crazy Cookie the chicken: I am pleased with Leena. She has been giving us hot water every morning. Our coop is unheated. Mom insisted on not heating the coop for the fear that they may come to feed us one morning and find chicken barbaque (over done) from the accidental fires that coop heaters sometimes create. I am happy. I don’t fancy becoming chicken barbaque. But absent a heated coop, the daily servings of hot water are very welcome.

Oh yes, a baby Cooper Hawk has been hanging out in the pine tree in the backyard. I think he is after the sparrow or Blue Jay. At first we were wary of the hawk. But we soon realized that it was scared of us! So if it ever comes near, we flap our wings violently and the hawk quickly retreats in a far corner. Oh, time for bed. Good night!