Kylo Ren, the supreme leader, awakens

Kylo Ren the dog: Woof! Howdy? My mom has been keeping the computer away from me. I haven’t been able to blog at all. Hmph. So, this afternoon, I lay on my back with my paws hanging mid air, playing dead, or at least, fast asleep. My people thought I was oh, so cute. They got groggy looking at me, lying there. Soon, mom passed out on the couch, as I watched from the corner of my half closed eye.

The snore was my cue. I was up in a thrice, sneaking over to the computer. Mom stirred a bit, so I pulled the blanket over her and gave her a fuzzy nuzzle. There, there. I even tucked a little stuffie in the blanket. Satisfied, mom resumed snoring while I crept over to the computer.

My last post was back in November about kickboxing. I am getting some serious FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out). So, here I am, writing about my life story since the past few months.

The winter was largely dull, other than some brief excitement in December when I couldn’t stop pooping and ended up in the hospital. My dad wanted to come in the examination room, but the hospital staff insisted on taking me without my humans. So I got some fun out of that, terrorizing the poor staff members. My fun was finally over when they put me under to do tests on me. I was sleepy for two days after that. Tanya told me later that all they did at the hospital was to put water in my body using a needle. Wow! $1000 for that?! I could have drunk that much water instead and bought treats with the $1000. My humans are sweet, but easily duped.

Christmas came around. I ate as much as I could beg my masters out of. Gingerbread houses, cookies, treats wrapped in wrapping paper, the wrapping paper itself, you name it!

Unfortunately our year ended badly with dad falling off a ladder and ripping his shoulder. He had to go to the hospital after that, and unlike in the dog world, in the human world, it is the doctor who terrorizes the patient. Dad should have taken me along, like I begged him to, but no one listens to me around here. Hmph.

Winter was very cold. The chickens were freezing their butts outside. Leena took to leaving boiling hot water in their coops. If it was up to me, I would have boiled the chicken in the water and had a nice warm soup, but no one listens to me around here (did I mention that before?)

Just when I thought I would die from boredom, Paisley, the screamy chicken, added some excitement by almost getting eaten by a predator. I will let her tell her story, but she spent about ten days in the house, giving me something to sniff and poke at, while I tried to pass the time.

And then, just like that, my luck changed. Suddenly two new people appeared in the house who I could terrorize! Woah! I couldn’t believe my luck. These people smelt and looked a bit strange, so I wasn’t sure about my attack tactic. I heard that they were from a far off place called India. What’s more, they were mom’s parents. Ok, interesting. I tried to get up close and personal, but my family played spoilsport as usual and kept me away.

When the new people did not leave after seeing me, my attitude slowly shifted from seeing them as a threat, to a potential expansion of the pack. The urge to include them in the pack became greater when I noticed some very positive traits of the new arrivals. They tended to give me a last bite of whatever meal they were having. Wow! My beggar instinct came fully alive as I started following the new people. Tanya and Leena called them Nana and Nani. If it is good enough for them, it is good enough for me. So, Nana and Nani they are.

I love Nani. Absolutely. I like Nana too, but Nani cooks. She makes these flat breads called roti, and guess what?! She always makes one for me. When I get this butter covered delight I am in seventh heaven.

Now, being a supreme leader, my natural instinct is to ignore people when they call me. But I never ignore Nana and Nani if they call me. Because I know, treats await. I go, I sit, I drool, I beg, and I chomp. Can’t complain. Life’s good.

Mixed feelings about 2024

The year 2024 is ending. This was a rollercoaster year for us. There were many pluses, but also many minuses. Let’s unpack the year 2024 in Elfland.

The positives: The kids and I started the year with a bang. We travelled home from India, refreshed and raring to go. Rosie the dog turned 15 in May, which was a milestone that we were not expecting. We spent a few nights at the camp and did our usual things at Elf land. On a personal front, the most significant progress was that I got my stories “The flying boy” and “Animal diaries” edited. “The flying boy” is the only one that is nearing completion and will be self published this year. But that was not all. Tanya and I attempted NaNoWriMo with some good results. I am hoping to have more writings published from the work that came out of NaNoWriMo.

In terms of travel, the girls and I took a trip to Philadelphia. That was short. We couldn’t do more because of Rosie being too old. But the trip was very fun. I went back to India for two weeks in September which was nice too.

A huge change in our lives occurred when Tanya finished school. It was a whirlwind feeling. I didn’t know whether to feel happy or sad about it. After going through a range of emotions, I can say that this is a positive. Tanya took a gap year and will join Penn State to study biology next June. In the meantime, she has taken a seven month course at a local tech school named CPI to study solar tech. Oh ya, and the biggest thing. She got her driver’s license. That was quite an adventure. She is all grown up now, driving to CPI and back.

Leena has many friends at school and is very mature for her age. She is moving along, growing like a weed as usual. Next year I will write about this interesting girl of ours.

Summer was not my favorite. We stayed busy with the graduation and our houses. The street painting was the summer highlight. We also got two new chickens, Oreo and Paisley. Oreo is sweet. Paisley is a runner and won’t warm up to us. But ok, she has good survival instincts!

The negatives: Ok, I promise to keep the negative section smaller than the positive, although that will be tough. We lost three animals. Baby the chicken passed at the age of 8. It was kind of expected, but still sad. Then, finally in October, the dreaded moment came when Rosie got very sick and had to be put down. Though expected, it was painful. We were very used to seeing her pleasant grandma expression. She would no longer play, but she was still there. Her absence is felt by us. Kylo Ren, our other dog, feels it the most. He seems to be bummed out since she has been gone.

Finally, the nasty shock came in terms of Daisy the chicken’s death. Daisy was only 5 and we were not expecting her to die. But a hungry hawk had other plans and got her a couple of weeks ago. It was painful. She was already dead and apart when we found her. Hopefully she didn’t suffer.

The grand finale of negatives was over the last week when Kylo had bad diarrhea and we got scared that we would lose him. We took him to vet emergency. He responded to all the medicines and is back to normal now.

Yesterday Johan fell of a ladder while working on the camper and ended up with two broken ribs. We are super thankful that he is ok otherwise, but it was a very scary situation. He had to go to the emergency room.

Oopsie, looks like the negatives are as much as the positives. I am happy to say goodbye to 2024, and looking forward to our upcoming year 2025. We have big plans for the year, and hopefully will leave the negative energy behind.

All of us are happy and healthy, although Johan has some mending to do. Our family and friends are also doing well. So we have plenty to be thankful for.

Happy new year 2025!

Our Gingerbread houses were messy as ever

Elf land heads to winter

Life has been slowly moving on here. We feel the void Rosie left. Lots of little things remind us of her. Simplest things such as shopping for lesser food, not having her sleeping in the most unhandy locations, not taking care of her little needs, come back and haunt us.

On to more positive happenings. Halloween came. We did some seriously good pumpkin carvings. Halloween was quiet because both the kids went out with their friends. I must say I was glad. I am not big on trick or treating. We plan to pick up on art and things now that winter is fast approaching.

One big happening is that both Tanya and I are participating in the National November Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). So plenty of writing and research going on at our end.

Johan has been working on the camp. He and Tanya are putting roof panels. Other than that, he has worked on cars and houses.

Tanya is busy with her solar tech classes, her barista job and music.

Leena is busy with school and her many projects. She is majorly into face creams, oils etc and keeps coming up with recipes. I am trying to keep up with the supplies!

Kylo Ren the dog: Hello, one and all. Thanks so much for stopping by. I have been lonesome without my lovely wife. Sometimes I visit her grave, but I never know what to say.

Life has been moving along. Rosie rarely moved at all, but her absence is very much felt. The humans mope about. I try to keep them going. It’s working well. We have gone for nice fall walks. The other day mom, Tanya and Leena took me to the park. They started playing basketball. Man, that’s some huge ball. I tried to catch the ball by jumping atop it with my fore paws. It’s not easy, let me tell you.

As far as shooting the hoops is concerned, best leave it to the humans. I don’t get it. Why would you try to throw the ball through some basket far above in the sky? It makes zero sense. Since you humans seem clueless about how a ball works, allow me to clarify. I will describe the structure and purpose of a ball. Any dog will tell you, a ball should be small, ideally the size of a tennis ball. It can be a bit smaller or bigger, but no bigger than what a standard dog snout can hold. Now, some balls are pointy at the edges, almost like a pillow. They call it a foot ball in these parts, even though that ball never touches a foot. If you have been following my posts, you know what I have to say to that. Humans are strange. Why would a hand ball be called a foot ball? That football is not entirely undesirable. Dogs like to bite it in the middle and run around with it. When we get tired, we drop it and sleep on it like it’s our pillow. So the foot ball, or the pillow ball, is a versatile toy loved by dogs.

But to continue, a standard ball is round and should be sized to be held in a dog snout. Why, you ask, must the size be appropriate for a dog snout? This brings me to the purpose of a ball. No! It’s not to throw into a basket. It is also not to fall over like dominoes having a bad day. The sole purpose of a ball is to be thrown as far as possible so that a dog such as me can run fast and catch it.

Today mom got a tennis ball and threw it at me. It was early morning. I was still groggy. I wasn’t upto running behind the ball. Guess what she did next?! She dipped the ball into my water and then threw it. Wow! Juicy ball! I caught it with glee and played with it for a bit.

The one thing that I notice is that now that Rosie is gone, I feel outnumbered. The human energy is overwhelming the house. I am missing the dog energy. Also, my job of protecting Rosie is gone, which makes me feel lazy and bored. What I miss the most is troubling and playing with Rosie. She never actually played but would bark loud complaints. I used to enjoy our back and forth. Oh, heaven help me.

Daisy the chicken: We saw the day Rosie was sick. We were pasted to the fence, staring at her. The humans were trying to revive her. But the animals always know. This was not looking good. Rosie was taken away. I am a bit upset about this. No one asked for my opinion. At the very least, I should have been allowed to say good bye. I think in their worried state, the humans forgot. Rosie was my girl. She and I had that special bond going. But I could only wish her from afar. Once she got back and was buried, I spent time hanging by her grave.

Lazy Laurie the chicken: Ok Daisy, that’s enough. You have been dustbathing by her grave! Oops sorry. Looks like I hurt Daisy’s feelings. Actually, it’s true. If you have read our previous blogs, you will know. Rosie and Daisy were very close. It was a special animal bond. Rosie loved having us around in her old age. But ultimately she just got too old. I can relate actually. At the ripe old age of 8, I can empathize with how Rosie felt. I am the last left from our original brood. I know my time will come soon and I will reunite with my sisters Baby, Dandelion and Chocolate Sprinkles.

Paisley the chicken: I barely knew Rosie, since we only came here in July. I never thought she was to be feared. In fact, my sisters are more ferocious and scary than Rosie ever was.

I wanted to tell y’all how miserable it is to be the lowest in the pecking order. I am constantly bullied. The humans have actually noticed my compromised status in this group. To help me out, they throw feed in various directions. Unfortunately the chickens chase me wherever I try to get in. The only thing that is in my favor is that I am super fast. I grab food and then I dart right off. Crazy Cookie mentioned the other day that I reminded her of Chocolate Sprinkles, who used to dart about in a similar fashion. All I can say is, Chocolate Sprinkles must have been smart, and the lowest in the pecking order! Oh, wait. The human is here. Run!!!

September in India and Elfland

September brought it’s share of excitement for me. Once the kids were in school, I took a two week trip to India. I had figured that it was a good time to take off while weather in State College was still ok.

Leaving State College without the girls turned out to be not the easiest thing. The idea of going so far away bore down on me as I drove in the middle of night to Washington DC to catch my flight. Putting my worries aside, I boarded the flight for an 18 hour trip to India via Doha (Qatar airways). Qatar airways was adequate with super short layovers, although this caused some stress on my way back since the flight from Hyderabad to Doha was delayed.

Sis, mom and dad picked me up at the Hyderabad airport. We went to mom’s place. Ganesh puja festival was going on in India. There were statues of Lord Ganesh everywhere. My parents’ apartment complex had one, with cultural events every evening.

My hope was to get some stuff organized for parents so that they would be more comfortable there. I must say I was happy with all the things I was able to do towards that goal in the two weeks. It was a packed schedule with shopping for clothes for mom (and some for the girls to take back with me), buying appliances, managing their paperwork and even getting them to buy tickets to visit us in April next year. I was very pleased with how things went.

Once home, I was thrilled to see all the progress made at home. Leena’s room was finished and painted, which is quite an achievement, since you could see insulation when I had left home. Johan finished insulating, and he and Wayne did drywalling and painting. Amazing. Johan and the girls had also worked hard at cleaning up stuff in various parts of the house and the end result was great! Tanya has an arm band now in kickboxing which means she is ahead of me in class! She seems quite pleased about that!

I have been moving along since back home, trying to get the house organized and my first children’s book going. It should see the light of day next year. Excited about my progress!

Kylo Ren the dog: Hmph! Despite the fact that I am very smart, no one ever asks for my opinion. Did mom ask if I was okay with her leaving and travelling off to some far off place? No! Luckily for Leena I didn’t starve. But let me tell you, my care was less than premium, and I could definitely feel the lowered standards. Once mom was back, I let her know exactly what I thought of her disappearance. A few bites did the trick. With mom, it’s easy. All I have to do is to place my cold and wet nose anywhere on her bare skin. She shrieks and I immediately get the pleasure of exacting my revenge.

Lately I have been getting in trouble for no reason whatsoever. My family says I am too pushy with my snout. But all I do is show love, when it is absolutely necessary. Like the times when Tanya leaves me for two whole minutes. When she comes back, I feel that it is my duty to tell her how much I missed her. But when I try, she gets all mad. Not fair. I bet other dogs aren’t left alone for such long periods of time. Ohh, here comes the Queen bee, Grandma Rosie!

Rosie the dog: What?!! Grandma?! Don’t you forget that you are my husband. That would make you grandpa. Hehe. Actually that makes sense. I am still sassier than you even at the ripe age of 15. Grandpa!

While I have been a happy go lucky 15 year old, lately my family has developed a strange and annoying habit. They like to pick me up in the air. They pick up my entire body and hold me. This is because I have lost a lot of weight, so now they treat me like a stuffed toy or something. But after being suspended in air for a couple of minutes, I remind them that I am no stuffed bunny. I bare my teeth most menacingly and snap and bark viciously. They get alarmed and put me down. I like being down. In fact my favorite position these days is to be as far down as possible, sleeping 22 hours a day outside in the sun. The last two hours are spent eating and barking at random people to incite Kylo into barking.

Oreo the chicken: Hello Rosie. May I have the keyboard? Oh! She is asleep. My turn! Hello, dear readers. I am here to make my debut into the world of blogging. The older hens have been bragging about the wonderful blogs they have written, and the wonderful places that they have visited. Paisley and I turn green with envy, but thankfully, since a lot of our feathers are black in color, the envious green stays hidden. It won’t do to show envy. Our pecking order stats can take a hit!

Let me tell you the story of Paisley and I. We were born and raised in the Bald Eagle area. We are one year old. Although we lived out in the boonies and can be considered to have had an idyllic childhood, reality is far from imagination. We lived with a few other chickens and a couple of nasty roosters. Every day was war. As a result, we have some trust issues. Our owner got some new peeps. One day we heard her talking with her husband that they want to downsize our brood. The hubby looked appetized and we smelt danger! One fine day our owner caught Paisley and me and put us in a dog crate. “This is it”, I thought. We are soup! But life had other plans for us. Soon people came by and took us in plastic containers to a new backyard that had three other chickens. These people named us Paisley and Oreo and wisely kept us separated from those scary older birds. They would try to socialize us by getting us together in the yard. The older hens made several planned attacks on us. However, they were foiled by the humans who sprayed them with a water gun! I am happy to say that I am now well assimilated into the group and am also getting warm and comfortable with the humans. Paisley is a whole different story!

Paisley the chicken: I yell! Yes, that’s my specialty. I let out such a shriek that humans get temporarily disoriented and confused. While they are figuring out what just happened, I use all my evasive and maneuvering skills to get away from the humans.

That said, I do get close to the humans. I am curious about them, but like to play it safe. I am slim and beautiful. I have been told that I have beautiful eyes (ahem). However, my slender build has placed me lowest in the pecking order. Sigh! If not for Oreo, I don’t know if I would ever get any food. Oreo is big. She almost looks like a turkey. Oh I am so glad she is my friend and protector!

Escape escapades

Crazy cookie the chicken: Lately we chickens have been the most adventurous of the whole lot of creatures at Elf land. So I get to start the blog of the day.

Our humans have a double fence system to keep us chickens inside the property. There is an inside fence with a gate. This is followed by an outside fence with a second gate. One would think this is enough barricade to keep four squawking hens from leaving their land. Well, one would think wrong! Allow me to elaborate with a most exciting story.

One fine day, Lazy Laurie was pecking around near the fence, when she suddenly saw something from the corner of her eye. On the other side of the fence, from the depths of the neighbor’s yard, emerged two juiciest and yummiest looking worms! Lazy Laurie’s eyes popped right out! She sent me on a mission. I was to watch the neighbor’s yard for the next couple of days and report my findings regarding the viability of the neighbor’s yard for free ranging.

After just one day of observation, I was able to give most favorable reports of the neighbor’s yard to Lazy Laurie and my other sisters. Not only is the neighboring yard full of juicy worms, it also has unpecked, untouched flowers, grass blades, flies, you name it. It’s a haven, right in front of our eyes, lying wasted, waiting for our attention. But how would we get there?

“No problemo”, said Lazy Laurie with supreme self confidence. “A fence is simply an opportunity to try one’s jumping or digging skills”, she added. Lazy Laurie rocks. After carefully evaluating the inside fence, Lazy Laurie found a weakness in the design. There is a bench for the humans to sit on right by the fence. Under our admiring eyes, Lazy Laurie jumped on to the bench. She then proceeded to use the said bench as a launch pad to become airborne and land neatly in between the two fences. The rest of us quickly followed.

Once there, Lazy Laurie scouted the second fence, until she found a small hole in it. “Ahha”, said she. And in a thrice, we were out of the second fence and into the neighbor’s yard. Yumminess awaited us. We spent a blissful hour checking out the delicacies offered by the neighbors. We pulled worms, plucked flowers, caught flies and ran in the yard. It was so fun!

Lazy Laurie the chicken: Crazy Cookie is an optimist. She covered our escape. Let me bring the story back to earth and tell you what happened next. A bunch of youngsters from the neighbor’s house saw us! Luckily for us, and unluckily for them, they aren’t trained to catch us. We used our usual evasion tactics with great success with them. We darted about in all directions, while they tried to catch us. The young neighbors seem to love us. This isn’t surprising, humans usually love us in all forms. Alive, dead, on a stake, on grill, you name it! Since we preferred the option 1 (of staying alive) we weren’t about to let them catch us.

Things were going well for us. But then, this cute human rooster came by. He tried to catch us. My resolve weakened, and I froze for a second. He grabbed me (it’s spring time, we are broody, what can I say). I was proud (although a bit worried) to be the one to be grabbed! Luckily my human mom came by just then, and we were all taken back to our home and put in the safety of our coop. It was an exciting day. I penned a little poem in the memory of this adventure.

We the chickens loved the neighbor’s yard

We ate plenty of goodies, soft and hard

Until I was caught by the human rooster

Which was sad, but ooh! Such a confidence booster!

— Lazy Laurie

Kylo Ren the dog: I escaped too! The other day someone rang the doorbell. My mom was forgetful and she opened the door without locking me away. I ran to meet the stranger. I was going to get in my lean, mean mode. However, the visitor turned out to be a girl that looked like my Tanya. I got mellow at once and was wagging my tail and my entire butt around like a bumbling fool. But then I looked at the road. The sweet girl had come with a boy! He was waiting for her in the car. I was back to my mean self (in case you don’t know this, I don’t like boys). I growled and barked. Tanya held me by my collar but I strained to get away. Unluckily the visitors left and I was dragged back into the house.

Last but not the least, it was my birthday last Thursday. I turned 4! My family sang the “happy birthday” song. Oh joy! I went completely crazy with excitement! Tanya solemnly told me that I was four now and was no longer a boy, but a man(!). Leena said that she was going to call me Mr. Kylo from now onwards since I was grown up! I play-bit at their jaws to correct their misconceptions. I don’t intend to grow up any time soon. Before you leave, please don’t forget to check out the pictures below of my parents. I think I look a lot like my dad. He looked naughty (heh heh). But I have my mom’s classic German Shepherd coloring. You can say that I got the best of both my parents’ looks. You wouldn’t be wrong!

February in Elf land

February started off with a mad hair extension craze. Leena went color crazy putting all sorts of extensions in her hair. In her usual zealous way, she took all the hair off her barbie and started re-hairing her. Regrettably, that project is currently on hold. I fear that it is going to need my input before the poor Barbie gets her mane back. While on the topic of incomplete projects, I would like to happily report that my Ganesha art work finally is complete after I stuck the cutout on a black background. This project stood in limbo for two years before I finally got it done. I guess there’s hope for Barbie after all! We did put up a bunch of art work made by the girls. Slowly but surely, we have been moving ahead.

Johan and Tanya made a dog cart for Rosie. Her back paws are now completely unfunctional. Picking her back up for a walk is a heavy task. It is also dangerous for her, since her paws flip while dangling. If the walker is not watching, her paws can end up scratched and bloody. Rosie loved her cart. It has been useful in giving her front end some much needed exercise. She even gave Kylo Ren a chase! It was back to the good ol’ times.

Other than that, it was another month, another car for Elf land. Johan bought a BYD electric car from Lehigh University. Johan, Rosie and I decided to go to pick it up leaving the (elated) kids behind with Kylo Ren. We left one evening and made a little trip out of it. We ate, slept, drove, slept some more and moved until we reached Bethlehem, PA. They had our favorite Waffle shop, so we got to enjoy some grits!

After breakfast, we checked out an electric BYD city bus that Johan was also bidding on. It was nice enough, although a lot of work to make into a camper. We then went to see the car. My friend Sushil lives there, so our plan was to meet up and for me to visit his office and lab while Johan did the paperwork. It went without a hitch. I had a fun time checking out Sushil’s lab. He is a professor at Lehigh Valley.

Once back, we left town as quickly as we could. The drive was uneventful. We came back around 4 pm. The BYD electric car is a nice addition with quite a long range by our standards.

Other than buying vehicles at regular intervals, Tanya has been spending some time behind the wheel learning how to drive. She is learning stick shift on our super cool Mercedes jeep and automatic on our (other super cool) electric car Solectria. In short, life has been chugging along.

Rosie the dog: Well my friends. I am okay with life chugging along, but why, oh why, would one take a 100 year old grandma dog on a road trip? I really don’t need that kind of chugging. But that’s precisely what happened the other day. Just because I looked somewhat eager to get into the van, my mommy and Papa decided to take me along for an overnight trip. I must say, I was pretty rattled, physically and emotionally. I literally trembled for many miles before a familiar smell calmed me down. When my people stepped out of the car, and came in with foody smells, my brain fog cleared and a smell made it’s way into the depths of my memory. That was the smell of sausage. Instantly, I could remember all the times we hit the road, and how my people would come back with meaty treats. Life was not so bad after that. I had a merry old time in the back of the van, howling to my heart’s content and getting all the meaty treats without having to share them with Kylo Ren. I still trembled, but it was more out of excitement than nervousness. Despite all the positives, I was happy when we got home. Home works well for a dog my age. Let’s hope my humans don’t plan anymore such adventures.

Kylo Ren the dog: I don’t have much to report about this month. But my life was not devoid of excitement. Tanya took me inside a store! We walked through the dog aisle and my eyes popped out! Here were rows of treats at my snout’s reach! Oh, if only I didn’t have the awful muzzle on, I could have eaten my bellyful. Unfortunately, it was not to be (sigh). One good thing was that I did get a pig ear on my way out by the generous store people. The bad thing is, I don’t like pig ears. I am a civilized dog and don’t appreciate such barbaric treats. I did eat it though. It wasn’t too bad (yum).