Kylo Ren, the supreme leader, awakens

Kylo Ren the dog: Woof! Howdy? My mom has been keeping the computer away from me. I haven’t been able to blog at all. Hmph. So, this afternoon, I lay on my back with my paws hanging mid air, playing dead, or at least, fast asleep. My people thought I was oh, so cute. They got groggy looking at me, lying there. Soon, mom passed out on the couch, as I watched from the corner of my half closed eye.

The snore was my cue. I was up in a thrice, sneaking over to the computer. Mom stirred a bit, so I pulled the blanket over her and gave her a fuzzy nuzzle. There, there. I even tucked a little stuffie in the blanket. Satisfied, mom resumed snoring while I crept over to the computer.

My last post was back in November about kickboxing. I am getting some serious FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out). So, here I am, writing about my life story since the past few months.

The winter was largely dull, other than some brief excitement in December when I couldn’t stop pooping and ended up in the hospital. My dad wanted to come in the examination room, but the hospital staff insisted on taking me without my humans. So I got some fun out of that, terrorizing the poor staff members. My fun was finally over when they put me under to do tests on me. I was sleepy for two days after that. Tanya told me later that all they did at the hospital was to put water in my body using a needle. Wow! $1000 for that?! I could have drunk that much water instead and bought treats with the $1000. My humans are sweet, but easily duped.

Christmas came around. I ate as much as I could beg my masters out of. Gingerbread houses, cookies, treats wrapped in wrapping paper, the wrapping paper itself, you name it!

Unfortunately our year ended badly with dad falling off a ladder and ripping his shoulder. He had to go to the hospital after that, and unlike in the dog world, in the human world, it is the doctor who terrorizes the patient. Dad should have taken me along, like I begged him to, but no one listens to me around here. Hmph.

Winter was very cold. The chickens were freezing their butts outside. Leena took to leaving boiling hot water in their coops. If it was up to me, I would have boiled the chicken in the water and had a nice warm soup, but no one listens to me around here (did I mention that before?)

Just when I thought I would die from boredom, Paisley, the screamy chicken, added some excitement by almost getting eaten by a predator. I will let her tell her story, but she spent about ten days in the house, giving me something to sniff and poke at, while I tried to pass the time.

And then, just like that, my luck changed. Suddenly two new people appeared in the house who I could terrorize! Woah! I couldn’t believe my luck. These people smelt and looked a bit strange, so I wasn’t sure about my attack tactic. I heard that they were from a far off place called India. What’s more, they were mom’s parents. Ok, interesting. I tried to get up close and personal, but my family played spoilsport as usual and kept me away.

When the new people did not leave after seeing me, my attitude slowly shifted from seeing them as a threat, to a potential expansion of the pack. The urge to include them in the pack became greater when I noticed some very positive traits of the new arrivals. They tended to give me a last bite of whatever meal they were having. Wow! My beggar instinct came fully alive as I started following the new people. Tanya and Leena called them Nana and Nani. If it is good enough for them, it is good enough for me. So, Nana and Nani they are.

I love Nani. Absolutely. I like Nana too, but Nani cooks. She makes these flat breads called roti, and guess what?! She always makes one for me. When I get this butter covered delight I am in seventh heaven.

Now, being a supreme leader, my natural instinct is to ignore people when they call me. But I never ignore Nana and Nani if they call me. Because I know, treats await. I go, I sit, I drool, I beg, and I chomp. Can’t complain. Life’s good.

Backyard Chicken Summer Escape

The sun shines upon our wings
We chickens roll around in dust
Happiness tugging our heartstrings
As our feathers dance in a gust.

We love that summer is finally here
Feels like we waited far too long
For the hot sun. Best time of the year!
The birds sing a happy summer song.

Lazy Laurie is being lazy
Oreo swings in the hanging chair
The slow days drive Crazy Cookie crazy
While Paisley lays eggs everywhere.

Crazy Cookie retreats in a nook
Taking with her a few sturdy twigs
Unaware that Oreo is stealing a look
As she works hard, draws and digs.

Oreo puzzles as Crazy Cookie works
Her careful drawings make no sense
A projectile? A plank? Her head jerks
Did Crazy Cookie just draw the garden fence?

A loud voice from behind! Oreo jumps
“A plan behind my back?” Lazy Laurie stares
Pointing at Crazy, Oreo backs and slumps
Showing she knows nothing of Crazy’s affairs.

“What’s this, Crazy Cookie?” asks Lazy Laurie
“Why am I not in the loop?”
A guilty faced Crazy Cookie says, “Sorry.
But life is more than the yard and the coop.”

Paisley comes over, curious at all the fuss
Crazy Cookie climbs the garden bench
Pointing her twig at her art to discuss
Her new plan which sounds very French.

“Using this trebuchet, or catapult, if you will
The plan is to fly over the fence and run
We could go for a walk, try the neighbor’s dill
Its high time we had some adventure and fun.”

Paisley stops midway from her egg lay
Lazy Laurie holds her heart and sighs
While Oreo stares in utter dismay
There’s a wild look in Crazy Cookie’s eyes.

“Told you she’s crazy!” whispers Oreo
Paisley nods and shakes her head.
Lazy Laurie evaluates this new scenario
While Crazy Cookie gets supplies from the shed.

A large plank, and a big rock
Makes the perfect chicken see saw
Climbing at one end, she yells a command squawk
Oreo and Paisley obey, full of awe.

Screaming a loud and a strong war cry
Oreo and Paisley jump at the other end
Making Crazy Cookie fly in the sky
And into the neighbor’s yard, they send.

Next up is Lazy Laurie, just as before
Oreo and Paisley know the drill 
Sending her flying is no chore
Easy peasy with their fine jumping skill.

Paisley is light as a feather
Big Oreo makes a huge jump
Sure enough! In the neighbor’s heather
Paisley lands on a soft lump.

Now Oreo is in a bit of a fix
No one left to propel her over
From the neighbors comes a flying brick
Propelling Oreo! She ends up in clover.

The mouse claps, the birds cheer
The bunnies bow with silent respect
The squirrel smiles from ear to ear
As we chickens move about and inspect.

Herbs and berries! Delights await
Our eyes pop, our mouths water
We cheer Crazy Cookie the great
The vegetable patch we slaughter.

A bark ends our summer fun
Flying comes the neighbor’s dog
Quick! Atop the trampoline we run
The fast dog jumps too, mouth agog.

He lands on the trampoline, oh my!
We chickens have nowhere to go
What’s this? His leap makes us fly
Over the fence, away from our foe.

Back in our yard, safe and sound
We cluck as the defeated dog barks
We declare Crazy Cookie crowned
As summer queen of us matriarchs.

Thankful for kickboxing

It’s that time of the year again. You count your blessings, you are thankful for the wonderful people in your life, so you thank them before you start a new year of mistreating them. Just joking! But, I want to write a blog on the one thing in my life that I have been the most thankful for. That is kickboxing.

I started kickboxing when I was about 31. Joining a class was the best decision I ever took. Through the years, kickboxing has helped me become mentally and physically stronger. And then there was the one time that it saved me from being crippled.

I always loved martial arts. We did some karate at school. It was very basic and largely unmotivating. Most kids hated the class, but I remembered liking it. Fast forward.. to 31! I was a new mom of Tanya. As a new mom, I would have some strange notions and panic attacks every now and then. During one such moments, I remember getting stressed out about the fact that I was incapable of physically defending Tanya in case anyone attacked us. So, marshalling up my courage, I walked into an extremely mean looking gym called Titan fitness. They offered a free trial class in women’s kickboxing. After attending that, I never looked back. I was a proud member of Titan fitness.

I didn’t exactly fit in there. There were two reasons for that. Most of the other women were young, ranging from 13-25. The instructors made me feel a bit old (at 31!). Other than that, I was the only brown person there. Ok, no worries. I took to kickboxing like a fish takes to water. It was a blissful time. I soon felt in the peak of my health. And that was a very good thing, because dark times were around the corner.

A couple years later, I woke up one fine morning, paralyzed. My legs shook as I tried to walk to the bathroom. I was getting ready to go to work. Work was 2 hrs away and I usually left very early to make it there on time. I tried to climb into the bathtub. To my shock, I couldn’t lift my leg to get into the tub. That’s when I called in sick at work. By mid day, my condition worsened. At some moment, I got up to go to the next room, and fell down on the floor. That’s when we went to the hospital. I was wheeled in with a wheelchair.

The doctors had no clue what was wrong with me. But one doctor guessed it was Guillaine Barre syndrome. Say what?!! I just stared at her. Guillane Barre Syndrome (GBS) is an auto immune disorder where your immune system attacks your own nerves and leaves you paralyzed. One in 400,000 people get it. So I guess, I am one in 400,000! It’s not one in a million, but I’ll take it!

There is no way to diagnose GBS. But the doctor was convinced that this was what was ailing me. They airlifted me to Geisinger at Danville to continue treatment. Tanya was only three then! I remember the doctor came to see me when I was getting in to helicopter. She was gleeful about her diagnosis. I guess it was a high for her. I was also grateful to her for the diagnosis. I lay thinking, ok great! But now what?!

At Danville, they did some further tests to rule out MS. When they had ruled everything else out, they decided that they could treat me for GBS. They had a treatment called IVIG that they started. I responded to it! So they were on the right track. All I remember was laying on the bed and having hallucinations where I was floating around. Obama had just won the elections and I watched the news, trying to ignore the constant dread that I would never get up again. It would take me three or four tries to press a button on the remote, or the call button for the nurses. I do remember a kindly nurse. I was crying. He came and told me to be strong, and that I would get out of this! It’s amazing how I remember his kind words after all these years.

After nine days in the hospital, I was ready to be transported into a rehab facility. GBS had reversed, but my muscle strength was gone. However, I was definitely stronger than the time that couldn’t press remote buttons. I rolled over to the stretcher bed. The nurses were amused.

Once in rehab, the fight that I had learnt in kickboxing came back to me. The rehab was a very unmotivating place. Majority of the patients there were senior and unmotivated. The food was gross. I had to bury my head in a magazine to divert my attention from what I was eating so that I wouldn’t throw up. But I was determined to get better and ate every bite. I knew that once I got home, Tanya would come running and fling her body on my legs. I wanted to be able to stand when she did that.

The rehab was memorable. I pestered all the physical therapists to give me exercises to do in my off time spent in the room. They had rarely met a motivated patient before. But they supported me. I specifically remember one young African American physical therapist. She was new there. She and I had a bond. She understood my drive and pushed me hard. In nine days, I was able to be strong enough to leave.

A recovery from zero requires one to be tough mentally. But I knew I was in the best frame of mind to do that. After all, I had been kickboxing. Whenever I was disheartened, I would cling to my kickboxing. I vowed that I would get back to kickboxing. That became my goal. Two quotes inspired me. One was written on my gym wall at kickboxing. “Absorb what is useful — Bruce Lee”. This is my life mantra. The second was at the rehab place. “You are like a teabag. You never know how strong you are until you are in hot water.” So true.

Once home, my recovery was a lot faster. In a few months, I was back to kickboxing. Weakness persisted, but I fought it, and finally, bit by bit, overcame it. But I still feel under confident when walking on a steep hill. The weakness from that time flashes across my mind. But these are very rare. My recovery is full.

I continued kickboxing for many years. I can’t remember exactly when I stopped it. But I had Leena and had to pause it. Later in life I had an ACL tear from a fall. That was a miserable and extremely painful experience. The recovery was painful, and the doctors warned me to take it easy. I didn’t want to risk a re-tear and so I hung my gloves. I was sad to lose my best friend, kickboxing.

Fast forward to now. I am even older. At the ripe old age of 47, something interesting happened. My girls are now 18 and 12, and I wanted them to be involved in sports. I always wanted them to learn kickboxing and told them over the years to sign up. They never did. Finally I put my foot down and signed them up for a free lesson at a gym named CPAMMA. We arrived at the designated time and the girls signed in for a free lesson. I said, “what the heck. Sign me up too!”. So we took our free lesson. That was in July. This is December. We have been going to kickboxing regularly.

I love watching my girls kickboxing. They swing their legs with the grace of youth. I don’t think I have that anymore. But I have good posture and technique and can still do very well. My previous concerns of an ACL re-tear are no longer there. I realized that as long as I stick to the correct stance, it’s pretty safe. That means, not stress my knee. It works just fine. I find that I can’t raise my leg as high as my girls, but my current goal is to kick higher.

I also noticed one thing. Your instructor matters. While at my old gym, I was made to feel old at the age of 31, at the current gym, there is no such feeling. There are a couple of older women than me. But most importantly, the women instructors create a more positive space as opposed to the previous male instructors who created a more macho environment. I first thought, oh, this must not be as good as the other one, since they are not pushing harder. But I was proven wrong very elegantly by the ladies. We have been taught a range of techniques that I never learnt in all my years at the previous gym. This proves what I always knew. Women create a better environment, and gently push to get to levels that will exceed what men do with their macho techniques. It’s lovely to be a part of it.

As for my personal journey, I am thankful that kickboxing is back in my life. Older women develop osteoporosis, and I believe that staying on top of rigorous exercising combined with good diet can help avoid it. This hypothesis will be proven right or wrong with time. But, as of now, I am back to living my best life mentally and physically. Thank you kickboxing!

Kylo Ren the dog: Now, hold on mom! No signing off yet. I rarely get to blog nowadays. I will have to insist that I add to each blog from now onwards. So yes, I am aware that the ladies have been kickboxing. How? You may ask. Because, they tried some of their moves with me. ME! I guess they forgot that I am supreme leader Kylo Ren, grandson of Darth Vader, son of Leia (and Hans Solo too, though I killed him, ulp!). Anyway. So they made me sit and did their punches in the air. That was fine. But then they kicked in my direction. I wasn’t having it. I playbit them and jumped on them to air bite around their jaws. That took care of it! They haven’t been doing any of that anymore.

The other day, Tanya and Leena started grappling. My eyes popped out! Now, I don’t care who starts the fight. I intend to finish it. Since Tanya is my age and Leena is a baby, I naturally assumed that Tanya was the guilty party. So I went after her, jumping, play biting and pushing her off. Their grappling didn’t last long!

The only thing that I don’t like is that they refuse to recognize my supreme leadership, and instead dissolve into bunches of “Awww, he is so cute!”, and hugs that I then have to wrestle myself out of. Guess I am also getting good at grappling!

Crazy Cookie the chicken: Yee haw. (Comes flying from across the room, one leg pointed out, and the other curved, wings tight, kungfu style). Heh heh. I landed a paw on Kylo Ren’s cheek. He tried to go after me, but then got scolded by the girls and they have taken him away!

To begin my story for the day, brr, it’s cold out. We poor ladies have had to negotiate the snow. Luckily Leena has been supplying us with hot water ever so often. That keeps us going. But it’s definitely a cold winter.

Today there was a cat in our backyard. We were a bit worried about our safety but Kylo Ren took care of it. He chased the cat hard. The cat ran, and the bunny ran, and we ran. Kylo was a bit confused at all the sudden action, but the end result was that the cat is gone, hopefully for good!

In other yard news, Leena filled the bird feeders with bird feed. As usual, the squirrels started eating everything. But these days the humans have come up with a new technique. They open the window and squirt water on the squirrels with a water gun. The squirrels would jump off and drop bunches of bird feed on the ground as they did so. Wow, a dinner and a show! The girls and I have been getting some fun out of that.

Have a merry Christmas my dear friends.

The Rosie Era ends

Rosie dog passed away yesterday at the ripe old age of 15.5 years. It was a rollercoaster day with lots of very strong emotions. I wanted to document it before the feelings fade.

Rosie had been drinking excess quantities of water lately. We weren’t sure why. She would not drink much during the day, but would start drinking bowls after bowls in the evening and at night. As we now know, this marked the beginning of the end.

Friday was a good day for her. We made sure she drank water during they day (by adding some milk into her water, which she loved). She also walked around the house on her own, following Leena as Leena offered her treats. Rosie seemed happy and animated. She ate normally.

However, Johan had been saying that her abdomen makes noises and also she panted, apparently in pain. On Saturday morning, her stomach was very bloated. She looked out of it. She didn’t care about treats. It didn’t look good. Johan and the girls went for breakfast and Rosie was outside the door. I sat by her to keep an eye. At some moment, she got very uncomfortable and could not find a comfortable position. She was trying to throw up and also crying. That was the moment that the thought went across my mind, this was not life anymore, but rather a painful wait for death.

Johan, Leena and Kylo came home. I told Johan what he already knew. She needed to be put down. It was Saturday but luckily our vet was open until noon. We got a noon appointment (with death). I called Tanya who took the day off from her work at Webster’s cafe and came home. Her boss, Elaine, knows Rosie since Rosie was a pup, and must have been sad. On a side note, we had first met Rosie outside Webster’s! She had shown up frolicking about with her foster mom when she was three months old.

By now everyone was in tears. Rosie was very uncomfortable. Leena was upset because she didn’t think we should wait until 12. Anyway, we all minus Kylo Ren got into the van. We drove out into the country. Rosie calmed down a bit as we drove. The movement of the van must have made her feel better.

The last 1.5 hours driving around with Rosie were very beautiful. It was a sunny fall day. When we first left home at 10:15 am or so, we thought of trying to find a different vet. However, when Rosie looked calm in the van, we just decided to drive around until noon. So that’s what we did. This was a time we will cherish. We were quietly watching outside, sometimes crying, coming to terms and feeling Rosie. We even stopped somewhere in the fields. Johan got Rosie out hoping she would like to pee. But Rosie was done. She just sat there. She was momentarily calm, laying in the sun.

At noon we were at the vet. The vet, Susan, is an elderly lady who I haven’t met. I don’t enter veterinary clinics as a rule due to my cat allergies. Anyway, Susan came with her walker. She had graciously agreed to put Rosie down in our van itself. As we held Rosie, Susan gave her the first shot which would get Rosie to fall asleep. After about 10 minutes, she gave her the shot to stop her heart. Susan was very sweet, and even hugged Rosie as she passed.

It’s too difficult to describe all that we went through at those moments, so I won’t try. But along with grief, we were worried if her passing would be calm and painless. To our relief, it was. We drove home with our beloved friend to bury her. Once home we decided to let Kylo see Rosie and understand what happened. So we placed her in the living and then let Kylo go to her.

Kylo Ren the dog: Thanks mom. I will take it from here (respectfully). So yes. There was a lot going on yesterday. Rosie was not well. I tried to get her up and running but it wasn’t working. She wasn’t peeing. I could smell it inside her body. That’s a bad sign. The family left. When they got back I ran to the living room. But there laid Rosie and she wouldn’t move. I was overwhelmed with concern and fear. I started nudging and pawing at her to get her moving. My family thought I was being too aggressive and tried to hold me back. But for once I wasn’t having it. I ignored them and even fought them to get to my lovely wife and friend. But no amount of pawing or nudging would move her. Everyone was upset, and I was crying.

My family started digging a hole. I helped a bit but this was all too crazy for me. After a couple of hours they put Rosie in it. Once again, I tried my best to get her out of this very dire situation. But they insisted. I was shivering and trembling and crying. But in my heart I knew. Rosie was gone. It was a depressing day. I try to keep the spirits up with my antics. I hope Rosie is finally in a painless place.

Animal musings

Kylo Ren the dog; It’s a hot day. I hear it is only April, and we are above 80 degrees. If that was not bad enough, my Papa put me in this orange military vest before taking me to the junkyard. Now, although the vest makes me look even more handsome than normal, I was boiling. Of course, when I saw my junkyard girl friend, I played it cool. I pretended that I was very comfy and in my elements in the horrible vest. I think she bought it! I did have to take a dip in the creek after all my posing. The good thing is, my girl friend is crazy about me (I hope).

In other news from around these parts, I have been eating bumble bees. They are very poor sports, though. They sting when I grab them in my mouth. Yesterday was the worst. I made the big mistake of biting on a bumble bee in front of Tanya and Mom. Their solution? Tanya opened my mouth big to look inside. Mom took water and put it in my throat. To add insult to injury, they yelled at me all the time while doing this torturous routine. I almost drowned! I ran in and only came out much later when they were diverted. Then I ate some more bumble bees. Yum!

Rosie the dog: I am a miracle dog! You don’t believe it? Guess what?! After 2 months of not being able to get up on my hind legs at all, and not even being able to drag myself around, I am suddenly up and walking! My human family is astounded! Now, I do fall over. But I am able to lift my backside now. Soon you will hear about me running around in the yard, looking for my sweet chicken friend Daisy.

My days are mostly spent sleeping. However, now that spring is here, I have graduated from sleeping outside the front steps to laying in the grass.

Yesterday was very hot. I was missing hanging out in the pond. So I tried to drag myself over the high dikes into the water. That was too much of a challenge. But before you think that I didn’t get what I wanted, think again! As I mentioned, I am a miracle dog. Instead of me going over to the pond, the pond came flying over to me. Leena took water from the pond and poured it all over me. Ah, heaven. I spent the rest of the evening rolling about in the grass and sniffing it out.

Baby the chicken: Kylo Ren has gone crazy (yet again). He went after me the other day! Luckily Tanya was there, otherwise I could have become a chicken kabob hanging from his fangy teeth. I think we chickens will have to come up with a plan to set him right. He is getting way too big for his paws.

Something interesting happened the other day. We sisters were hanging out in the yard as usual. I did my late morning head count to make sure none of the chickens were missing. Guess what?! I counted 5 instead of our usual 4. I thought the sun was making me see double. But then, when I looked more carefully, one of the “chickens” was actually a “she duck”! Actually female ducks are called hens. So I wasn’t that far off in my initial count. But, of course, the duck was nothing like us. For one, she could actually fly (sigh!). She also looked completely different from us (although equally cute, ahem). We had a gala time exchanging notes about our lives. Duck told us that she usually flies around with two male ducks (called drakes – see how well informed I am?) prior to egg laying season. “Why two?”, I asked. She told us that once they find a pond that she likes, the trio lands. Then while she grooms herself and checks out her new home, the drakes have a fight to decide who will be her mate for the upcoming egg season. All she has to do is to paint her nails (with the pond water) and wait for the outcome of the fight. Finally, the losing drake flies off in shame while the winning drake and hen set up their new home for the season.

We chickens were extremely jealous and indignant when we heard this. We have zero roosters here. We have to contend ourselves by pretending that the humans are roosters. One good thing in our favor, the humans feed and care for us, while the ducks do not get that kind of treatment (smug look on Baby’s face).

Anyway, once we were done with our social visit, the hen duck took a splash in a discarded little green kid’s pool in the backyard. Once she was done splashing, she proceeded to play around in the pond before flying off. How nice to have a social visit from a hen, instead of the usual riff raffs that visit, such as bunnies, moles, mice, squirrels or chipmunks. We hope to see more of our new hen friend. Who knows, maybe one of us can take the losing drake as a boyfriend! Ooh, opportunity knocks!

Driving through March

March started off with the spring break. We spent three nights at the camp. This was a first. We cooked, read and hung out at the camp. It was a haven for the dogs. The kids and Kylo were gone for long stretches of time. The weather was rainy and wet, but that didn’t stop anyone from having a good time.

March was also unusual in a different way. We are not a movie going family. We watch movies at home. But we did see two movies this March. These were Kung Fu Panda 4 and Dune 2. Both were awesome and made for nice times.

Other than that it has been a lot of driving for us. Tanya is determined to get her driver’s license next month. We have been pushing to go driving every evening, and also mornings on weekends. That means we spend a lot of time in the car aimlessly driving around. She is making good progress.

As we get into spring, projects are beckoning. These include a much needed renovation of our kitchen countertop, insulation of Leena’s room and Tanya’s bus-mog camper project. The bus-mog is a vehicle that Johan has put together. It has a Unimog front and a school body, welded together. The bus-mog is being made into a camper. Tanya spent time insulating it to get the project further.

March ended with Easter, organized by EB Hopster the bunny. We had our usual chocolate and treat style fun.

Kylo Ren the dog: Let me tell you the most exciting thing that happened to me this month. In case you don’t know this about me yet, I am the official duck chaser of our household. Random Pennsylvania duck couples come to lay eggs by our backyard pond. Now, this might sound cute to you, but the ducks are no picnic. They tear up the carefully planted water plants and eat the goldfish in the pond. Plus they poop all over the place. So whenever the duck couple lands, my job is to go running to the pond in a tearing rage and frighten the bejesus out of them. It’s a lot of fun!

So the other day, I was out in the yard on my duck chasing duty with Leena. The ducks quickly flew away, leaving the hunter instinct in me dissatisfied. I wanted more! And so I looked around. And there was Lazy Laurie, the chicken, giving me her usual disdainful look. Lazy Laurie is brown, but that look made me see red! So I went after her in a tearing rage. I had her in my mouth and was going to do her in once and for all. Now, I always look at Leena as if she is a tiny, swattable insect, but she earned my respect that day. She yelled and ran in my direction, and just as I was about to take a bite out of Lazy Laurie, she put her fingers in my mouth and pulled so hard that I couldn’t shut my mouth! While I was trying to get my mouth free, Lazy Laurie ran in the coop. I went after her, but Baby the chicken puffed up and went at me. At that moment, feeling outnumbered, the fight went out of me. I went back to the house, only to be scolded big time by mom and locked up in the crate. What a sorry end to my adventure.

Lazy Laurie the chicken: Well folks, I happen to be the chicken of the month. I would have used the phrase, “the flavor of the season”, but “flavor” sounds a bit risky. As mentioned above by the monster Kylo Ren, he tried to kill me. My dearest human mom Leena saved my life. While I am number one on the pecking order, Leena certainly tops me in rank and status. Once Kylo Ren was overpowered and confined, Leena came back to find me. I was in a state of shock. My mouth was lolling about and my eyes were glassed over. She got worried and so she took me inside the house. There I got royally pampered right in front of Kylo Ren’s nose. I was first hugged and sang to by mom. When that didn’t do the trick, they got me some cream and butter to eat. Seeing fresh cream got me back to my senses. I greedily ate some. My humans were so happy that they gave me multiple helpings of cream, followed by bird feed. I am happy to report that at the end of my feeding, I was back to feeling normal, and was able to join my sisters in the yard once again.

I was once again the star of the show when the humans had a bit of a nasty surprise in the form of some spring bugs emerging from their basement into their living room. Their usual course of action would be vacuuming followed by bleach cleaning. However, after years of living with us, they have gotten sufficiently trained to consider me as their first line of defense. So they brought me in.

You may not know this about me, but along with being chicken number one on the pecking order, I possess some additional qualities that set me apart. They include my fastidious attention to detail, my pro active nature and inclination to take initiative. Corporate America could learn a whole lot from me. Using the above-mentioned traits, I went about my pest control job with diligence. Carefully and painstakingly, I picked up and ate every last bug that had dared to invade my human family’s coop. My humans were most impressed. Imagine being impressed by my ability to eat (hehe). Humans are easy to impress. I am happy to report, that following my pest control and their clean up, the human home is now bug free.

EB Hopster the bunny: Hello there. Before calling it a day, a word from me. I am, after all, the animal of the month. No easter month can be complete without a blog from me.

To the uninitiated, I am EB Hopster. EB stands for, you guessed it, Easter Bunny. I go all over America and Europe leaving chocolate eggs and various treats for kids on Easter day. If you have been especially good, I leave a note for you to read. You can find one such note in the pictures below. This year, at Elf land, I was helped by my Elf assistant Tanya, who explained the layout of the land to me, so that I could leave treats in appropriate locations. I made sure that Easter at Elf Land was a success. Thanks for the applause. Time for me to destroy some tulips.