Rosie dog passed away yesterday at the ripe old age of 15.5 years. It was a rollercoaster day with lots of very strong emotions. I wanted to document it before the feelings fade.

Rosie had been drinking excess quantities of water lately. We weren’t sure why. She would not drink much during the day, but would start drinking bowls after bowls in the evening and at night. As we now know, this marked the beginning of the end.

Friday was a good day for her. We made sure she drank water during they day (by adding some milk into her water, which she loved). She also walked around the house on her own, following Leena as Leena offered her treats. Rosie seemed happy and animated. She ate normally.

However, Johan had been saying that her abdomen makes noises and also she panted, apparently in pain. On Saturday morning, her stomach was very bloated. She looked out of it. She didn’t care about treats. It didn’t look good. Johan and the girls went for breakfast and Rosie was outside the door. I sat by her to keep an eye. At some moment, she got very uncomfortable and could not find a comfortable position. She was trying to throw up and also crying. That was the moment that the thought went across my mind, this was not life anymore, but rather a painful wait for death.

Johan, Leena and Kylo came home. I told Johan what he already knew. She needed to be put down. It was Saturday but luckily our vet was open until noon. We got a noon appointment (with death). I called Tanya who took the day off from her work at Webster’s cafe and came home. Her boss, Elaine, knows Rosie since Rosie was a pup, and must have been sad. On a side note, we had first met Rosie outside Webster’s! She had shown up frolicking about with her foster mom when she was three months old.

By now everyone was in tears. Rosie was very uncomfortable. Leena was upset because she didn’t think we should wait until 12. Anyway, we all minus Kylo Ren got into the van. We drove out into the country. Rosie calmed down a bit as we drove. The movement of the van must have made her feel better.

The last 1.5 hours driving around with Rosie were very beautiful. It was a sunny fall day. When we first left home at 10:15 am or so, we thought of trying to find a different vet. However, when Rosie looked calm in the van, we just decided to drive around until noon. So that’s what we did. This was a time we will cherish. We were quietly watching outside, sometimes crying, coming to terms and feeling Rosie. We even stopped somewhere in the fields. Johan got Rosie out hoping she would like to pee. But Rosie was done. She just sat there. She was momentarily calm, laying in the sun.

At noon we were at the vet. The vet, Susan, is an elderly lady who I haven’t met. I don’t enter veterinary clinics as a rule due to my cat allergies. Anyway, Susan came with her walker. She had graciously agreed to put Rosie down in our van itself. As we held Rosie, Susan gave her the first shot which would get Rosie to fall asleep. After about 10 minutes, she gave her the shot to stop her heart. Susan was very sweet, and even hugged Rosie as she passed.

It’s too difficult to describe all that we went through at those moments, so I won’t try. But along with grief, we were worried if her passing would be calm and painless. To our relief, it was. We drove home with our beloved friend to bury her. Once home we decided to let Kylo see Rosie and understand what happened. So we placed her in the living and then let Kylo go to her.

Kylo Ren the dog: Thanks mom. I will take it from here (respectfully). So yes. There was a lot going on yesterday. Rosie was not well. I tried to get her up and running but it wasn’t working. She wasn’t peeing. I could smell it inside her body. That’s a bad sign. The family left. When they got back I ran to the living room. But there laid Rosie and she wouldn’t move. I was overwhelmed with concern and fear. I started nudging and pawing at her to get her moving. My family thought I was being too aggressive and tried to hold me back. But for once I wasn’t having it. I ignored them and even fought them to get to my lovely wife and friend. But no amount of pawing or nudging would move her. Everyone was upset, and I was crying.

My family started digging a hole. I helped a bit but this was all too crazy for me. After a couple of hours they put Rosie in it. Once again, I tried my best to get her out of this very dire situation. But they insisted. I was shivering and trembling and crying. But in my heart I knew. Rosie was gone. It was a depressing day. I try to keep the spirits up with my antics. I hope Rosie is finally in a painless place.