Paisley’s predator attack

Crazy Cookie the chicken: I haven’t forgotten. Paisley spent two weeks in the human house in the spring, while we, the top chickens, stayed in the coop. How dare she?! After all that effort that I put in to make sure that she stayed at the bottom of the pecking order! I even pushed her out of the chicken coop one night making her she sleep in the run. Come to think of it, that was the beginning of all the problems. Around 5 a.m., we chickens were awakened by blood curdling screams emanating from Paisley. Oreo was concerned and actually went to check. I didn’t! I simply stretched on big Oreo’s section of the roost and slept sound (now don’t you dare judge me, you luxury loving humans. You don’t know how life is in the wild).

Sadly, her screams brought the human man out. Paisley had disappeared. I felt a pang of guilt but the rules of the pecking order are absolute and I couldn’t beat myself over my compulsion to climb to the top. Wait, hey! What’s this….

Lazy Laurie the chicken (snatching the keyboard from Crazy Cookie the chicken): Off you go, Crazy Cookie! For the record, Crazy Cookie is not at the top of the pecking order. It is I, Lazy Laurie, the Orange Chicken Supreme (gotta use the word “supreme” since Kylo Ren the dog uses it when he describes himself as the supreme leader!).

Yes, Crazy Cookie has been acting a bit desperate to climb the social ladder in these parts. I, on the other hand, am kind to Paisley. We go pecking around in the vegetable patch together. I rarely chase her off the food scraps that the humans give us. Crazy Cookie, on the other hand, chases Paisley hard!

Despite all her efforts, I am still the top chicken at the ripe old age of 9. I established this fact recently when my human dad was eating his lunch in the yard. Without hesitation I jumped on his lap to try to get to one of his croissants. He pushed me down, but mom told him off for disrespecting the senior chicken (ahem). After that, I had a field day sitting on his lap and getting crumbs from him.

There’s another thing special about me. I am the only chicken left from the original four. I was brought here nine years ago. Mom’s parents were visiting from India. After 9 years they are visiting again, so we had a reunion!

One bad thing about being senior is that I sleep a lot, and totally missed Paisley’s early morning attack. I have no clues to share about who, what or how Paisley almost died in Spring. I’ll let Oreo try to piece that story together while I take a nap.

Oreo the chicken: I know it. It was Kylo Ren, the dog. He was the one who ripped on my dear sister Paisley. How do I know this, you may ask. I know this because I found Paisley’s feather stuck on Kylo Ren’s snout. Now if that is not a dead giveaway, I don’t know what is.

Anyway, I love Paisley. I am one chicken who has never bullied her. We joined the elfland together, and we go back a long way, from the time the rough roosters at the previous owners used to peck on us. I was truly sad the day she was attacked and disappeared. I thought she must have died. But lo and behold, she reappeared after a few days, new skin and all, looking hale and hearty. I guess she was fed well in the big human house. I welcomed her back with open wings! Glad to have my buddy back with me.

Paisley the chicken: There seems to be a lot of misinformation around here regarding my predator attack. Let me tell you what happened.

One night, after my sisters bullied me out of the coop, I was sleeping on the rocks in the run when suddenly a black shadow appeared. Before I could react, it grabbed my belly and tried to pull me. I was certain this was my last day. But the predator didn’t know that this was me, Paisley, the mistress of screams. I screamed hard, like a human baby. The predator was shaken and loosened its grip. I ran. Ouch. A piece of my skin disappeared, but I wasn’t about to stop to claim it.

Apart from my scream, my second big talent is my smallness. I can get through really tiny spaces. So I wriggled out of the run and ran at top speed. I hid in bushes. Here’s where my third talent tilted the odds in my favor. You see, I am as dark as the night. So when I hide, I become a part of the night itself. The predator looked around, but was no match for my stealth. It dropped my piece of skin and disappeared. In the meantime my human dad had woken up, hearing my screams. He looked around, but couldn’t find me either.

The next morning, I was found by my owner, Leena. Nothing escapes her eyes! She got me in. I proceeded to scream a few more times, scaring the living daylights out of my humans and Kylo Ren. They managed to capture me and pop me in a crate. Before that they examined me to find a gaping hole in my belly. They were appropriately worried. The last chicken that they had found with a hole died within 24 hours.

My humans sprang into action. My dear little Leena actually skipped school that day for me. They bought an antiseptic cream and spray and cleaned my wound. This was not easy because I freak out so fast. To stop me from freaking out, they covered my face with a washcloth so that I could not see what they were doing.

After an initial couple of days of freaking out, however, I started loving my new life. I used to get yogurt and other yummies each morning and evening. My beak stayed white from a coating of yogurt! They also pampered me and chit chatted with me. Even Kylo Ren the dog came by every now and then to say Hi! They diligently worked on my wound for a couple of weeks, and then, miraculously, new skin appeared! I showed off my new skin to my humans. They responded by putting me in the chicken tractor separated from the other chickens during the day. This was a welcome change. I would scream out to my sisters. Oreo would give a friendly yell, while Crazy Cookie would scream menacingly. My cozy world looked within my reach. Finally, after days of separation, I was finally allowed to join my sisters. Leena watched carefully to make sure that my sisters wouldn’t try to pull my skin back off me, but they didn’t and that was the end of yogurt days and back to being bullied!

As to who my predator was, it was definitely not Kylo Ren. He sleeps on the third floor of the human house, and no way could he have escaped and then tried to eat me. I think it was either an owl or a raccoon. Anyway, they didn’t succeed, and I live on to tell my story.

Kylo Ren, the supreme leader, awakens

Kylo Ren the dog: Woof! Howdy? My mom has been keeping the computer away from me. I haven’t been able to blog at all. Hmph. So, this afternoon, I lay on my back with my paws hanging mid air, playing dead, or at least, fast asleep. My people thought I was oh, so cute. They got groggy looking at me, lying there. Soon, mom passed out on the couch, as I watched from the corner of my half closed eye.

The snore was my cue. I was up in a thrice, sneaking over to the computer. Mom stirred a bit, so I pulled the blanket over her and gave her a fuzzy nuzzle. There, there. I even tucked a little stuffie in the blanket. Satisfied, mom resumed snoring while I crept over to the computer.

My last post was back in November about kickboxing. I am getting some serious FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out). So, here I am, writing about my life story since the past few months.

The winter was largely dull, other than some brief excitement in December when I couldn’t stop pooping and ended up in the hospital. My dad wanted to come in the examination room, but the hospital staff insisted on taking me without my humans. So I got some fun out of that, terrorizing the poor staff members. My fun was finally over when they put me under to do tests on me. I was sleepy for two days after that. Tanya told me later that all they did at the hospital was to put water in my body using a needle. Wow! $1000 for that?! I could have drunk that much water instead and bought treats with the $1000. My humans are sweet, but easily duped.

Christmas came around. I ate as much as I could beg my masters out of. Gingerbread houses, cookies, treats wrapped in wrapping paper, the wrapping paper itself, you name it!

Unfortunately our year ended badly with dad falling off a ladder and ripping his shoulder. He had to go to the hospital after that, and unlike in the dog world, in the human world, it is the doctor who terrorizes the patient. Dad should have taken me along, like I begged him to, but no one listens to me around here. Hmph.

Winter was very cold. The chickens were freezing their butts outside. Leena took to leaving boiling hot water in their coops. If it was up to me, I would have boiled the chicken in the water and had a nice warm soup, but no one listens to me around here (did I mention that before?)

Just when I thought I would die from boredom, Paisley, the screamy chicken, added some excitement by almost getting eaten by a predator. I will let her tell her story, but she spent about ten days in the house, giving me something to sniff and poke at, while I tried to pass the time.

And then, just like that, my luck changed. Suddenly two new people appeared in the house who I could terrorize! Woah! I couldn’t believe my luck. These people smelt and looked a bit strange, so I wasn’t sure about my attack tactic. I heard that they were from a far off place called India. What’s more, they were mom’s parents. Ok, interesting. I tried to get up close and personal, but my family played spoilsport as usual and kept me away.

When the new people did not leave after seeing me, my attitude slowly shifted from seeing them as a threat, to a potential expansion of the pack. The urge to include them in the pack became greater when I noticed some very positive traits of the new arrivals. They tended to give me a last bite of whatever meal they were having. Wow! My beggar instinct came fully alive as I started following the new people. Tanya and Leena called them Nana and Nani. If it is good enough for them, it is good enough for me. So, Nana and Nani they are.

I love Nani. Absolutely. I like Nana too, but Nani cooks. She makes these flat breads called roti, and guess what?! She always makes one for me. When I get this butter covered delight I am in seventh heaven.

Now, being a supreme leader, my natural instinct is to ignore people when they call me. But I never ignore Nana and Nani if they call me. Because I know, treats await. I go, I sit, I drool, I beg, and I chomp. Can’t complain. Life’s good.

Backyard Chicken Summer Escape

The sun shines upon our wings
We chickens roll around in dust
Happiness tugging our heartstrings
As our feathers dance in a gust.

We love that summer is finally here
Feels like we waited far too long
For the hot sun. Best time of the year!
The birds sing a happy summer song.

Lazy Laurie is being lazy
Oreo swings in the hanging chair
The slow days drive Crazy Cookie crazy
While Paisley lays eggs everywhere.

Crazy Cookie retreats in a nook
Taking with her a few sturdy twigs
Unaware that Oreo is stealing a look
As she works hard, draws and digs.

Oreo puzzles as Crazy Cookie works
Her careful drawings make no sense
A projectile? A plank? Her head jerks
Did Crazy Cookie just draw the garden fence?

A loud voice from behind! Oreo jumps
“A plan behind my back?” Lazy Laurie stares
Pointing at Crazy, Oreo backs and slumps
Showing she knows nothing of Crazy’s affairs.

“What’s this, Crazy Cookie?” asks Lazy Laurie
“Why am I not in the loop?”
A guilty faced Crazy Cookie says, “Sorry.
But life is more than the yard and the coop.”

Paisley comes over, curious at all the fuss
Crazy Cookie climbs the garden bench
Pointing her twig at her art to discuss
Her new plan which sounds very French.

“Using this trebuchet, or catapult, if you will
The plan is to fly over the fence and run
We could go for a walk, try the neighbor’s dill
Its high time we had some adventure and fun.”

Paisley stops midway from her egg lay
Lazy Laurie holds her heart and sighs
While Oreo stares in utter dismay
There’s a wild look in Crazy Cookie’s eyes.

“Told you she’s crazy!” whispers Oreo
Paisley nods and shakes her head.
Lazy Laurie evaluates this new scenario
While Crazy Cookie gets supplies from the shed.

A large plank, and a big rock
Makes the perfect chicken see saw
Climbing at one end, she yells a command squawk
Oreo and Paisley obey, full of awe.

Screaming a loud and a strong war cry
Oreo and Paisley jump at the other end
Making Crazy Cookie fly in the sky
And into the neighbor’s yard, they send.

Next up is Lazy Laurie, just as before
Oreo and Paisley know the drill 
Sending her flying is no chore
Easy peasy with their fine jumping skill.

Paisley is light as a feather
Big Oreo makes a huge jump
Sure enough! In the neighbor’s heather
Paisley lands on a soft lump.

Now Oreo is in a bit of a fix
No one left to propel her over
From the neighbors comes a flying brick
Propelling Oreo! She ends up in clover.

The mouse claps, the birds cheer
The bunnies bow with silent respect
The squirrel smiles from ear to ear
As we chickens move about and inspect.

Herbs and berries! Delights await
Our eyes pop, our mouths water
We cheer Crazy Cookie the great
The vegetable patch we slaughter.

A bark ends our summer fun
Flying comes the neighbor’s dog
Quick! Atop the trampoline we run
The fast dog jumps too, mouth agog.

He lands on the trampoline, oh my!
We chickens have nowhere to go
What’s this? His leap makes us fly
Over the fence, away from our foe.

Back in our yard, safe and sound
We cluck as the defeated dog barks
We declare Crazy Cookie crowned
As summer queen of us matriarchs.

September in India and Elfland

September brought it’s share of excitement for me. Once the kids were in school, I took a two week trip to India. I had figured that it was a good time to take off while weather in State College was still ok.

Leaving State College without the girls turned out to be not the easiest thing. The idea of going so far away bore down on me as I drove in the middle of night to Washington DC to catch my flight. Putting my worries aside, I boarded the flight for an 18 hour trip to India via Doha (Qatar airways). Qatar airways was adequate with super short layovers, although this caused some stress on my way back since the flight from Hyderabad to Doha was delayed.

Sis, mom and dad picked me up at the Hyderabad airport. We went to mom’s place. Ganesh puja festival was going on in India. There were statues of Lord Ganesh everywhere. My parents’ apartment complex had one, with cultural events every evening.

My hope was to get some stuff organized for parents so that they would be more comfortable there. I must say I was happy with all the things I was able to do towards that goal in the two weeks. It was a packed schedule with shopping for clothes for mom (and some for the girls to take back with me), buying appliances, managing their paperwork and even getting them to buy tickets to visit us in April next year. I was very pleased with how things went.

Once home, I was thrilled to see all the progress made at home. Leena’s room was finished and painted, which is quite an achievement, since you could see insulation when I had left home. Johan finished insulating, and he and Wayne did drywalling and painting. Amazing. Johan and the girls had also worked hard at cleaning up stuff in various parts of the house and the end result was great! Tanya has an arm band now in kickboxing which means she is ahead of me in class! She seems quite pleased about that!

I have been moving along since back home, trying to get the house organized and my first children’s book going. It should see the light of day next year. Excited about my progress!

Kylo Ren the dog: Hmph! Despite the fact that I am very smart, no one ever asks for my opinion. Did mom ask if I was okay with her leaving and travelling off to some far off place? No! Luckily for Leena I didn’t starve. But let me tell you, my care was less than premium, and I could definitely feel the lowered standards. Once mom was back, I let her know exactly what I thought of her disappearance. A few bites did the trick. With mom, it’s easy. All I have to do is to place my cold and wet nose anywhere on her bare skin. She shrieks and I immediately get the pleasure of exacting my revenge.

Lately I have been getting in trouble for no reason whatsoever. My family says I am too pushy with my snout. But all I do is show love, when it is absolutely necessary. Like the times when Tanya leaves me for two whole minutes. When she comes back, I feel that it is my duty to tell her how much I missed her. But when I try, she gets all mad. Not fair. I bet other dogs aren’t left alone for such long periods of time. Ohh, here comes the Queen bee, Grandma Rosie!

Rosie the dog: What?!! Grandma?! Don’t you forget that you are my husband. That would make you grandpa. Hehe. Actually that makes sense. I am still sassier than you even at the ripe age of 15. Grandpa!

While I have been a happy go lucky 15 year old, lately my family has developed a strange and annoying habit. They like to pick me up in the air. They pick up my entire body and hold me. This is because I have lost a lot of weight, so now they treat me like a stuffed toy or something. But after being suspended in air for a couple of minutes, I remind them that I am no stuffed bunny. I bare my teeth most menacingly and snap and bark viciously. They get alarmed and put me down. I like being down. In fact my favorite position these days is to be as far down as possible, sleeping 22 hours a day outside in the sun. The last two hours are spent eating and barking at random people to incite Kylo into barking.

Oreo the chicken: Hello Rosie. May I have the keyboard? Oh! She is asleep. My turn! Hello, dear readers. I am here to make my debut into the world of blogging. The older hens have been bragging about the wonderful blogs they have written, and the wonderful places that they have visited. Paisley and I turn green with envy, but thankfully, since a lot of our feathers are black in color, the envious green stays hidden. It won’t do to show envy. Our pecking order stats can take a hit!

Let me tell you the story of Paisley and I. We were born and raised in the Bald Eagle area. We are one year old. Although we lived out in the boonies and can be considered to have had an idyllic childhood, reality is far from imagination. We lived with a few other chickens and a couple of nasty roosters. Every day was war. As a result, we have some trust issues. Our owner got some new peeps. One day we heard her talking with her husband that they want to downsize our brood. The hubby looked appetized and we smelt danger! One fine day our owner caught Paisley and me and put us in a dog crate. “This is it”, I thought. We are soup! But life had other plans for us. Soon people came by and took us in plastic containers to a new backyard that had three other chickens. These people named us Paisley and Oreo and wisely kept us separated from those scary older birds. They would try to socialize us by getting us together in the yard. The older hens made several planned attacks on us. However, they were foiled by the humans who sprayed them with a water gun! I am happy to say that I am now well assimilated into the group and am also getting warm and comfortable with the humans. Paisley is a whole different story!

Paisley the chicken: I yell! Yes, that’s my specialty. I let out such a shriek that humans get temporarily disoriented and confused. While they are figuring out what just happened, I use all my evasive and maneuvering skills to get away from the humans.

That said, I do get close to the humans. I am curious about them, but like to play it safe. I am slim and beautiful. I have been told that I have beautiful eyes (ahem). However, my slender build has placed me lowest in the pecking order. Sigh! If not for Oreo, I don’t know if I would ever get any food. Oreo is big. She almost looks like a turkey. Oh I am so glad she is my friend and protector!

Escape escapades

Crazy cookie the chicken: Lately we chickens have been the most adventurous of the whole lot of creatures at Elf land. So I get to start the blog of the day.

Our humans have a double fence system to keep us chickens inside the property. There is an inside fence with a gate. This is followed by an outside fence with a second gate. One would think this is enough barricade to keep four squawking hens from leaving their land. Well, one would think wrong! Allow me to elaborate with a most exciting story.

One fine day, Lazy Laurie was pecking around near the fence, when she suddenly saw something from the corner of her eye. On the other side of the fence, from the depths of the neighbor’s yard, emerged two juiciest and yummiest looking worms! Lazy Laurie’s eyes popped right out! She sent me on a mission. I was to watch the neighbor’s yard for the next couple of days and report my findings regarding the viability of the neighbor’s yard for free ranging.

After just one day of observation, I was able to give most favorable reports of the neighbor’s yard to Lazy Laurie and my other sisters. Not only is the neighboring yard full of juicy worms, it also has unpecked, untouched flowers, grass blades, flies, you name it. It’s a haven, right in front of our eyes, lying wasted, waiting for our attention. But how would we get there?

“No problemo”, said Lazy Laurie with supreme self confidence. “A fence is simply an opportunity to try one’s jumping or digging skills”, she added. Lazy Laurie rocks. After carefully evaluating the inside fence, Lazy Laurie found a weakness in the design. There is a bench for the humans to sit on right by the fence. Under our admiring eyes, Lazy Laurie jumped on to the bench. She then proceeded to use the said bench as a launch pad to become airborne and land neatly in between the two fences. The rest of us quickly followed.

Once there, Lazy Laurie scouted the second fence, until she found a small hole in it. “Ahha”, said she. And in a thrice, we were out of the second fence and into the neighbor’s yard. Yumminess awaited us. We spent a blissful hour checking out the delicacies offered by the neighbors. We pulled worms, plucked flowers, caught flies and ran in the yard. It was so fun!

Lazy Laurie the chicken: Crazy Cookie is an optimist. She covered our escape. Let me bring the story back to earth and tell you what happened next. A bunch of youngsters from the neighbor’s house saw us! Luckily for us, and unluckily for them, they aren’t trained to catch us. We used our usual evasion tactics with great success with them. We darted about in all directions, while they tried to catch us. The young neighbors seem to love us. This isn’t surprising, humans usually love us in all forms. Alive, dead, on a stake, on grill, you name it! Since we preferred the option 1 (of staying alive) we weren’t about to let them catch us.

Things were going well for us. But then, this cute human rooster came by. He tried to catch us. My resolve weakened, and I froze for a second. He grabbed me (it’s spring time, we are broody, what can I say). I was proud (although a bit worried) to be the one to be grabbed! Luckily my human mom came by just then, and we were all taken back to our home and put in the safety of our coop. It was an exciting day. I penned a little poem in the memory of this adventure.

We the chickens loved the neighbor’s yard

We ate plenty of goodies, soft and hard

Until I was caught by the human rooster

Which was sad, but ooh! Such a confidence booster!

— Lazy Laurie

Kylo Ren the dog: I escaped too! The other day someone rang the doorbell. My mom was forgetful and she opened the door without locking me away. I ran to meet the stranger. I was going to get in my lean, mean mode. However, the visitor turned out to be a girl that looked like my Tanya. I got mellow at once and was wagging my tail and my entire butt around like a bumbling fool. But then I looked at the road. The sweet girl had come with a boy! He was waiting for her in the car. I was back to my mean self (in case you don’t know this, I don’t like boys). I growled and barked. Tanya held me by my collar but I strained to get away. Unluckily the visitors left and I was dragged back into the house.

Last but not the least, it was my birthday last Thursday. I turned 4! My family sang the “happy birthday” song. Oh joy! I went completely crazy with excitement! Tanya solemnly told me that I was four now and was no longer a boy, but a man(!). Leena said that she was going to call me Mr. Kylo from now onwards since I was grown up! I play-bit at their jaws to correct their misconceptions. I don’t intend to grow up any time soon. Before you leave, please don’t forget to check out the pictures below of my parents. I think I look a lot like my dad. He looked naughty (heh heh). But I have my mom’s classic German Shepherd coloring. You can say that I got the best of both my parents’ looks. You wouldn’t be wrong!

Animal musings

Kylo Ren the dog; It’s a hot day. I hear it is only April, and we are above 80 degrees. If that was not bad enough, my Papa put me in this orange military vest before taking me to the junkyard. Now, although the vest makes me look even more handsome than normal, I was boiling. Of course, when I saw my junkyard girl friend, I played it cool. I pretended that I was very comfy and in my elements in the horrible vest. I think she bought it! I did have to take a dip in the creek after all my posing. The good thing is, my girl friend is crazy about me (I hope).

In other news from around these parts, I have been eating bumble bees. They are very poor sports, though. They sting when I grab them in my mouth. Yesterday was the worst. I made the big mistake of biting on a bumble bee in front of Tanya and Mom. Their solution? Tanya opened my mouth big to look inside. Mom took water and put it in my throat. To add insult to injury, they yelled at me all the time while doing this torturous routine. I almost drowned! I ran in and only came out much later when they were diverted. Then I ate some more bumble bees. Yum!

Rosie the dog: I am a miracle dog! You don’t believe it? Guess what?! After 2 months of not being able to get up on my hind legs at all, and not even being able to drag myself around, I am suddenly up and walking! My human family is astounded! Now, I do fall over. But I am able to lift my backside now. Soon you will hear about me running around in the yard, looking for my sweet chicken friend Daisy.

My days are mostly spent sleeping. However, now that spring is here, I have graduated from sleeping outside the front steps to laying in the grass.

Yesterday was very hot. I was missing hanging out in the pond. So I tried to drag myself over the high dikes into the water. That was too much of a challenge. But before you think that I didn’t get what I wanted, think again! As I mentioned, I am a miracle dog. Instead of me going over to the pond, the pond came flying over to me. Leena took water from the pond and poured it all over me. Ah, heaven. I spent the rest of the evening rolling about in the grass and sniffing it out.

Baby the chicken: Kylo Ren has gone crazy (yet again). He went after me the other day! Luckily Tanya was there, otherwise I could have become a chicken kabob hanging from his fangy teeth. I think we chickens will have to come up with a plan to set him right. He is getting way too big for his paws.

Something interesting happened the other day. We sisters were hanging out in the yard as usual. I did my late morning head count to make sure none of the chickens were missing. Guess what?! I counted 5 instead of our usual 4. I thought the sun was making me see double. But then, when I looked more carefully, one of the “chickens” was actually a “she duck”! Actually female ducks are called hens. So I wasn’t that far off in my initial count. But, of course, the duck was nothing like us. For one, she could actually fly (sigh!). She also looked completely different from us (although equally cute, ahem). We had a gala time exchanging notes about our lives. Duck told us that she usually flies around with two male ducks (called drakes – see how well informed I am?) prior to egg laying season. “Why two?”, I asked. She told us that once they find a pond that she likes, the trio lands. Then while she grooms herself and checks out her new home, the drakes have a fight to decide who will be her mate for the upcoming egg season. All she has to do is to paint her nails (with the pond water) and wait for the outcome of the fight. Finally, the losing drake flies off in shame while the winning drake and hen set up their new home for the season.

We chickens were extremely jealous and indignant when we heard this. We have zero roosters here. We have to contend ourselves by pretending that the humans are roosters. One good thing in our favor, the humans feed and care for us, while the ducks do not get that kind of treatment (smug look on Baby’s face).

Anyway, once we were done with our social visit, the hen duck took a splash in a discarded little green kid’s pool in the backyard. Once she was done splashing, she proceeded to play around in the pond before flying off. How nice to have a social visit from a hen, instead of the usual riff raffs that visit, such as bunnies, moles, mice, squirrels or chipmunks. We hope to see more of our new hen friend. Who knows, maybe one of us can take the losing drake as a boyfriend! Ooh, opportunity knocks!

Driving through March

March started off with the spring break. We spent three nights at the camp. This was a first. We cooked, read and hung out at the camp. It was a haven for the dogs. The kids and Kylo were gone for long stretches of time. The weather was rainy and wet, but that didn’t stop anyone from having a good time.

March was also unusual in a different way. We are not a movie going family. We watch movies at home. But we did see two movies this March. These were Kung Fu Panda 4 and Dune 2. Both were awesome and made for nice times.

Other than that it has been a lot of driving for us. Tanya is determined to get her driver’s license next month. We have been pushing to go driving every evening, and also mornings on weekends. That means we spend a lot of time in the car aimlessly driving around. She is making good progress.

As we get into spring, projects are beckoning. These include a much needed renovation of our kitchen countertop, insulation of Leena’s room and Tanya’s bus-mog camper project. The bus-mog is a vehicle that Johan has put together. It has a Unimog front and a school body, welded together. The bus-mog is being made into a camper. Tanya spent time insulating it to get the project further.

March ended with Easter, organized by EB Hopster the bunny. We had our usual chocolate and treat style fun.

Kylo Ren the dog: Let me tell you the most exciting thing that happened to me this month. In case you don’t know this about me yet, I am the official duck chaser of our household. Random Pennsylvania duck couples come to lay eggs by our backyard pond. Now, this might sound cute to you, but the ducks are no picnic. They tear up the carefully planted water plants and eat the goldfish in the pond. Plus they poop all over the place. So whenever the duck couple lands, my job is to go running to the pond in a tearing rage and frighten the bejesus out of them. It’s a lot of fun!

So the other day, I was out in the yard on my duck chasing duty with Leena. The ducks quickly flew away, leaving the hunter instinct in me dissatisfied. I wanted more! And so I looked around. And there was Lazy Laurie, the chicken, giving me her usual disdainful look. Lazy Laurie is brown, but that look made me see red! So I went after her in a tearing rage. I had her in my mouth and was going to do her in once and for all. Now, I always look at Leena as if she is a tiny, swattable insect, but she earned my respect that day. She yelled and ran in my direction, and just as I was about to take a bite out of Lazy Laurie, she put her fingers in my mouth and pulled so hard that I couldn’t shut my mouth! While I was trying to get my mouth free, Lazy Laurie ran in the coop. I went after her, but Baby the chicken puffed up and went at me. At that moment, feeling outnumbered, the fight went out of me. I went back to the house, only to be scolded big time by mom and locked up in the crate. What a sorry end to my adventure.

Lazy Laurie the chicken: Well folks, I happen to be the chicken of the month. I would have used the phrase, “the flavor of the season”, but “flavor” sounds a bit risky. As mentioned above by the monster Kylo Ren, he tried to kill me. My dearest human mom Leena saved my life. While I am number one on the pecking order, Leena certainly tops me in rank and status. Once Kylo Ren was overpowered and confined, Leena came back to find me. I was in a state of shock. My mouth was lolling about and my eyes were glassed over. She got worried and so she took me inside the house. There I got royally pampered right in front of Kylo Ren’s nose. I was first hugged and sang to by mom. When that didn’t do the trick, they got me some cream and butter to eat. Seeing fresh cream got me back to my senses. I greedily ate some. My humans were so happy that they gave me multiple helpings of cream, followed by bird feed. I am happy to report that at the end of my feeding, I was back to feeling normal, and was able to join my sisters in the yard once again.

I was once again the star of the show when the humans had a bit of a nasty surprise in the form of some spring bugs emerging from their basement into their living room. Their usual course of action would be vacuuming followed by bleach cleaning. However, after years of living with us, they have gotten sufficiently trained to consider me as their first line of defense. So they brought me in.

You may not know this about me, but along with being chicken number one on the pecking order, I possess some additional qualities that set me apart. They include my fastidious attention to detail, my pro active nature and inclination to take initiative. Corporate America could learn a whole lot from me. Using the above-mentioned traits, I went about my pest control job with diligence. Carefully and painstakingly, I picked up and ate every last bug that had dared to invade my human family’s coop. My humans were most impressed. Imagine being impressed by my ability to eat (hehe). Humans are easy to impress. I am happy to report, that following my pest control and their clean up, the human home is now bug free.

EB Hopster the bunny: Hello there. Before calling it a day, a word from me. I am, after all, the animal of the month. No easter month can be complete without a blog from me.

To the uninitiated, I am EB Hopster. EB stands for, you guessed it, Easter Bunny. I go all over America and Europe leaving chocolate eggs and various treats for kids on Easter day. If you have been especially good, I leave a note for you to read. You can find one such note in the pictures below. This year, at Elf land, I was helped by my Elf assistant Tanya, who explained the layout of the land to me, so that I could leave treats in appropriate locations. I made sure that Easter at Elf Land was a success. Thanks for the applause. Time for me to destroy some tulips.