The Chicken Coop Winter Party

The bells jingle, winter lights gleam
The cold sets in, hot chocolates steam
We chickens love this time of year
Of fun, joy, happiness and cheer.

We peek in the yard, happy children run
Christmas tree arrives, how very fun
“It’s all nice and dandy.” Oreo says
“But how do we celebrate these festive days?”

Oreo’s words make Paisley mope
Christmas fun seems beyond our scope
“Fear not!” Lazy Laurie cries
A wild look crosses her keen eyes.

“We’ll have a party!” Lazy declares
“With lights and feast, peels and pears.
Invite the human girls!” she states
“We’ll decorate and use our very best plates!”

Crazy Cookie sighs, Paisley shivers
Such bold plans stress out our livers
But Oreo thinks this is a grand plan
She gets out a pen from her personal can.

Finding a paper, Lazy Laurie writes
“You are invited after two nights
Come, dear girls, to celebrate
Christmas with us, behind the crate.”

“We appreciate all you do for us
You take care of us without a fuss
We would now like to return the favor.
Together we party, yummy food we savor.”

The next morning Leena gets a surprise
What’s this note? She can’t believe her eyes
“Tanya!” she yells, running to the house
Her wild cries stun the birds and the mouse.

“What’s going on?” asks Tanya, very confused
“Can you stop yelling? My ears feel bruised.”
Wordlessly Leena hands her the note
As Tanya reads, she drops her tote.

“We knew they could talk. But this is nuts
These crazy chickens have a lot of guts!”
Nods Leena, “I guess it’s time to party”
Let’s hope they serve a meal that’s hearty!”

The party is today, the chickens work hard
They decorate their coop with stuff from the yard
Berries and pine needles, yummy delights
Lazy Laurie even pulls out a stash of lights.

Evening comes near, Paisley lays the plates
With peels and cheese and bits of dates
The coop looks festive as the girls arrive
They look surprised! The chickens high-five.

The girls sit on the rocks, while the chickens serve
Their beautiful plates with enthusiasm and verve
The girls look worried, as they politely eat
A piece of bread, topped with a peel of beet.

Leena has a plan. From her pocket she sneaks
A cookie. Taking a bite she fills her cheeks
The move does not escape the chicken eye
Lazy Laurie squawks, making Oreo fly.

A peck on her knee catches Leena unawares
She yells, drops the cookie, now its theirs
Before Leena can move, Oreo responds
Picking up the cookie, she rapidly absconds.

Next thing, we chickens fall in a pile
Lazy Laurie lands a kick, Kungfu style
Taking charge, she then bellows
To drive some sense in her chicken fellows.

Moving the chickens, the cookie she picks
Carefully she breaks it into equal parts of six.
As the girls gawk, she carefully picks each part
And serves it to everyone. Now isn’t she smart?

For winter is a time for love and sharing
“Time for us to show we can be caring!”
Her sisters nod. The human girls smile
They dig in their pockets in great style.

Out comes a bag of treats galore.
Fruits and pies, melons and more
We chickens stare, together we thank
Our lovely girls whom we must never prank.

And thus we eat, drink and share
We cuddle the girls to show we care
The night descends, the dog arrives
The party ends, it was a time of our lives.

The girls say good night, we give a hug
Paisley gives Tanya’s sleeve a tug
As she gives them a present, our favorite rock
With many thanks, our coop they lock.

Well, my sisters, have a very good night
Sleep well. Together we cuddle tight
As we watch the happy girls go home
“That’s the spirit!” shouts the garden gnome.

Paisley’s Fall Adventure

The leaves turn golden, the evenings grey
Summer is gone, fall is here to stay
We chickens feel droopy, sleepy, and all
As we slowly get used to the early nightfall.

Lazy Laurie is beginning to molt
Her plucked look gives quite a jolt
While Crazy Cookie covers the cracks with hay
“Gotta stop the draft,” she tells the blue jay.

Oreo, the biggest amongst us girls
Cleans her feathers, the ends she curls
While Paisley is worried, scared of the dark
Any noise makes her jump, even the dog’s bark.

“Now, dear Paisley, there’s nothing to fear
There are no ghosts, it’s wind you hear.”
Oreo tries her best to cheer Paisley up
As she stirs up the ice and water in her cup.

Try as she might, Paisley is not appeased
Lazy Laurie the leader looks none too pleased
Crazy Cookie laughs, her wings she beats
Says, “Wait until the night of trick and treats!”

“For you will see witches, ghouls and ghosts
Frankenstein and lions, in every corner and outposts.”
Paisley stares. Her feathers stand on ends
She marvels at the fearlessness of her friends.

“Quiet, Crazy!” Lazy Laurie frowns and scolds
As a shivering Paisley she cuddles and holds
“Halloween is a time of frolic and fun
And dress up and treats for everyone!”

“Wouldn’t it be fun if we all dressed up?
Went out trick or treating? I would dress as a pup!”
Says Oreo, as she stares at Paisley in delight
“You could be a raven! You are dark as the night!”

Paisley stares at the sky, thinking hard
“I would love to be a raven and fly about the yard.”
Laughs Crazy Cookie, “Well, what do you know?
Find a wolf partner, and trick or treating you go!”

“For wolves and ravens make the best of friends
They play, they share food, and other odds and ends.”
We chickens laugh and jest as the evening light streams
As the night falls slowly. Paisley sleeps and dreams.

The day of trick or treating is finally here
The kids dress up in their Halloween gear
We chickens feel the excitement in the air
We peek out of the coop. Did we just see a bear?!

A movement at the door catches Paisley’s eye
She stares and then she lets out a cry
For she has just spotted a wolf at the door
“My best friend!” she yells, shaken to the core.

Right before our eyes Paisley runs to the fence
She pushes at a rock! Has she lost all her sense?
Before we know it, she has moved the rock aside
To reveal an escape hole that is not too wide.

Little Paisley squeezes out and is gone in a flash
We rush behind her, into the hole we smash 
Alas! We are too big to squeeze through
We wring our wings. There’s not much we can do.

The night falls! We hope Paisley returns
Oreo is sad, for her friend she yearns
Just as we are about to give up hope
Paisley is here. No longer we mope.

Lazy Laurie scolds, Crazy Cookie shrugs
As Paisley looks guilty, Oreo hugs
“Sorry sisters. I know I was wrong. 
But it was time to explore and come back strong!”

“I followed the wolf. We went for a hunt
Door to door. Back to front
The wolf and I made a perfect team
And that’s not all!” Paisley’s eyes gleam.

She raises her wing. A bag drops
Looking inside Oreo’s eye pops
For treats await, sweet and sour
Paisley is the chicken of the hour.

We laugh, we squeal, we grab bites
Of Paisley’s stash of yummy delights
As Paisley recounts her Halloween walk
We listen, munching, our eyes agog.

At last, it is time for bed
Our happy bellies feel well fed
“Good night ladies. Paisley, great job!
You are now the chicken coop heartthrob.”

Drawings by: Leena Zwart aged 13

Paisley’s predator attack

Crazy Cookie the chicken: I haven’t forgotten. Paisley spent two weeks in the human house in the spring, while we, the top chickens, stayed in the coop. How dare she?! After all that effort that I put in to make sure that she stayed at the bottom of the pecking order! I even pushed her out of the chicken coop one night making her she sleep in the run. Come to think of it, that was the beginning of all the problems. Around 5 a.m., we chickens were awakened by blood curdling screams emanating from Paisley. Oreo was concerned and actually went to check. I didn’t! I simply stretched on big Oreo’s section of the roost and slept sound (now don’t you dare judge me, you luxury loving humans. You don’t know how life is in the wild).

Sadly, her screams brought the human man out. Paisley had disappeared. I felt a pang of guilt but the rules of the pecking order are absolute and I couldn’t beat myself over my compulsion to climb to the top. Wait, hey! What’s this….

Lazy Laurie the chicken (snatching the keyboard from Crazy Cookie the chicken): Off you go, Crazy Cookie! For the record, Crazy Cookie is not at the top of the pecking order. It is I, Lazy Laurie, the Orange Chicken Supreme (gotta use the word “supreme” since Kylo Ren the dog uses it when he describes himself as the supreme leader!).

Yes, Crazy Cookie has been acting a bit desperate to climb the social ladder in these parts. I, on the other hand, am kind to Paisley. We go pecking around in the vegetable patch together. I rarely chase her off the food scraps that the humans give us. Crazy Cookie, on the other hand, chases Paisley hard!

Despite all her efforts, I am still the top chicken at the ripe old age of 9. I established this fact recently when my human dad was eating his lunch in the yard. Without hesitation I jumped on his lap to try to get to one of his croissants. He pushed me down, but mom told him off for disrespecting the senior chicken (ahem). After that, I had a field day sitting on his lap and getting crumbs from him.

There’s another thing special about me. I am the only chicken left from the original four. I was brought here nine years ago. Mom’s parents were visiting from India. After 9 years they are visiting again, so we had a reunion!

One bad thing about being senior is that I sleep a lot, and totally missed Paisley’s early morning attack. I have no clues to share about who, what or how Paisley almost died in Spring. I’ll let Oreo try to piece that story together while I take a nap.

Oreo the chicken: I know it. It was Kylo Ren, the dog. He was the one who ripped on my dear sister Paisley. How do I know this, you may ask. I know this because I found Paisley’s feather stuck on Kylo Ren’s snout. Now if that is not a dead giveaway, I don’t know what is.

Anyway, I love Paisley. I am one chicken who has never bullied her. We joined the elfland together, and we go back a long way, from the time the rough roosters at the previous owners used to peck on us. I was truly sad the day she was attacked and disappeared. I thought she must have died. But lo and behold, she reappeared after a few days, new skin and all, looking hale and hearty. I guess she was fed well in the big human house. I welcomed her back with open wings! Glad to have my buddy back with me.

Paisley the chicken: There seems to be a lot of misinformation around here regarding my predator attack. Let me tell you what happened.

One night, after my sisters bullied me out of the coop, I was sleeping on the rocks in the run when suddenly a black shadow appeared. Before I could react, it grabbed my belly and tried to pull me. I was certain this was my last day. But the predator didn’t know that this was me, Paisley, the mistress of screams. I screamed hard, like a human baby. The predator was shaken and loosened its grip. I ran. Ouch. A piece of my skin disappeared, but I wasn’t about to stop to claim it.

Apart from my scream, my second big talent is my smallness. I can get through really tiny spaces. So I wriggled out of the run and ran at top speed. I hid in bushes. Here’s where my third talent tilted the odds in my favor. You see, I am as dark as the night. So when I hide, I become a part of the night itself. The predator looked around, but was no match for my stealth. It dropped my piece of skin and disappeared. In the meantime my human dad had woken up, hearing my screams. He looked around, but couldn’t find me either.

The next morning, I was found by my owner, Leena. Nothing escapes her eyes! She got me in. I proceeded to scream a few more times, scaring the living daylights out of my humans and Kylo Ren. They managed to capture me and pop me in a crate. Before that they examined me to find a gaping hole in my belly. They were appropriately worried. The last chicken that they had found with a hole died within 24 hours.

My humans sprang into action. My dear little Leena actually skipped school that day for me. They bought an antiseptic cream and spray and cleaned my wound. This was not easy because I freak out so fast. To stop me from freaking out, they covered my face with a washcloth so that I could not see what they were doing.

After an initial couple of days of freaking out, however, I started loving my new life. I used to get yogurt and other yummies each morning and evening. My beak stayed white from a coating of yogurt! They also pampered me and chit chatted with me. Even Kylo Ren the dog came by every now and then to say Hi! They diligently worked on my wound for a couple of weeks, and then, miraculously, new skin appeared! I showed off my new skin to my humans. They responded by putting me in the chicken tractor separated from the other chickens during the day. This was a welcome change. I would scream out to my sisters. Oreo would give a friendly yell, while Crazy Cookie would scream menacingly. My cozy world looked within my reach. Finally, after days of separation, I was finally allowed to join my sisters. Leena watched carefully to make sure that my sisters wouldn’t try to pull my skin back off me, but they didn’t and that was the end of yogurt days and back to being bullied!

As to who my predator was, it was definitely not Kylo Ren. He sleeps on the third floor of the human house, and no way could he have escaped and then tried to eat me. I think it was either an owl or a raccoon. Anyway, they didn’t succeed, and I live on to tell my story.

Kylo Ren, the supreme leader, awakens

Kylo Ren the dog: Woof! Howdy? My mom has been keeping the computer away from me. I haven’t been able to blog at all. Hmph. So, this afternoon, I lay on my back with my paws hanging mid air, playing dead, or at least, fast asleep. My people thought I was oh, so cute. They got groggy looking at me, lying there. Soon, mom passed out on the couch, as I watched from the corner of my half closed eye.

The snore was my cue. I was up in a thrice, sneaking over to the computer. Mom stirred a bit, so I pulled the blanket over her and gave her a fuzzy nuzzle. There, there. I even tucked a little stuffie in the blanket. Satisfied, mom resumed snoring while I crept over to the computer.

My last post was back in November about kickboxing. I am getting some serious FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out). So, here I am, writing about my life story since the past few months.

The winter was largely dull, other than some brief excitement in December when I couldn’t stop pooping and ended up in the hospital. My dad wanted to come in the examination room, but the hospital staff insisted on taking me without my humans. So I got some fun out of that, terrorizing the poor staff members. My fun was finally over when they put me under to do tests on me. I was sleepy for two days after that. Tanya told me later that all they did at the hospital was to put water in my body using a needle. Wow! $1000 for that?! I could have drunk that much water instead and bought treats with the $1000. My humans are sweet, but easily duped.

Christmas came around. I ate as much as I could beg my masters out of. Gingerbread houses, cookies, treats wrapped in wrapping paper, the wrapping paper itself, you name it!

Unfortunately our year ended badly with dad falling off a ladder and ripping his shoulder. He had to go to the hospital after that, and unlike in the dog world, in the human world, it is the doctor who terrorizes the patient. Dad should have taken me along, like I begged him to, but no one listens to me around here. Hmph.

Winter was very cold. The chickens were freezing their butts outside. Leena took to leaving boiling hot water in their coops. If it was up to me, I would have boiled the chicken in the water and had a nice warm soup, but no one listens to me around here (did I mention that before?)

Just when I thought I would die from boredom, Paisley, the screamy chicken, added some excitement by almost getting eaten by a predator. I will let her tell her story, but she spent about ten days in the house, giving me something to sniff and poke at, while I tried to pass the time.

And then, just like that, my luck changed. Suddenly two new people appeared in the house who I could terrorize! Woah! I couldn’t believe my luck. These people smelt and looked a bit strange, so I wasn’t sure about my attack tactic. I heard that they were from a far off place called India. What’s more, they were mom’s parents. Ok, interesting. I tried to get up close and personal, but my family played spoilsport as usual and kept me away.

When the new people did not leave after seeing me, my attitude slowly shifted from seeing them as a threat, to a potential expansion of the pack. The urge to include them in the pack became greater when I noticed some very positive traits of the new arrivals. They tended to give me a last bite of whatever meal they were having. Wow! My beggar instinct came fully alive as I started following the new people. Tanya and Leena called them Nana and Nani. If it is good enough for them, it is good enough for me. So, Nana and Nani they are.

I love Nani. Absolutely. I like Nana too, but Nani cooks. She makes these flat breads called roti, and guess what?! She always makes one for me. When I get this butter covered delight I am in seventh heaven.

Now, being a supreme leader, my natural instinct is to ignore people when they call me. But I never ignore Nana and Nani if they call me. Because I know, treats await. I go, I sit, I drool, I beg, and I chomp. Can’t complain. Life’s good.

Spring fever

The chicken excitedly flaps her wing
We hear happy songbirds sing
Their voices have a joyous ring
As they welcome the onset of spring.

We chickens breathe a sigh of relief
Hoping this warm spell won’t be brief
We ask Lazy Laurie, our chicken commander in chief
Whether she can smell spring in the leaf.

“Yes!” says Lazy Laurie, the wise
As she sniffs hard, and sighs
Triumphantly she declares, “Come on, you guys!
Winter is gone. Oh my! How time flies.”

We dream of dust baths, flies and worms
No more of the cold, snowy snowstorms
As we groom our feathers to top forms
It is time for us to break the norms.

The grass beckons. Alas! We are stuck in the coop
How do we escape our fenced run and its goop
Crazy Cookie, the chicken’s mind goes in a loop
As she lets out a loud whoop.

Oreo, the chicken stops and stares
“Crazy Cookie’s gone crazy”, she declares
“Quiet Junior!” Lazy Laurie glares
As Crazy Cookies’ temper flares.

Paisley, the smallest of us all
Pets Crazy Cookie, “Calm now, there’s a doll.”
A mellowed Crazy Cookie lets out a call
For a meeting in the egg laying hall.

Together we form a plan to escape
Emerging from the hall, our plans take shape
One chicken atop another until we make
A vertical chicken totem pole, a piece of cake.

Paisley, the lightest one, reaches high
Reaching a little gap, she yells "Aye"
She squeezes out, and exclaims “Oh my!”
As lush grass meets her eye.

But the first order of the day
Is to free her sisters, come what may
Lowering a rope to where her sisters lay
She pulls out Crazy Cookie, all the way.

Soon all we chickens wrestle free
Widening the gap, that’s how it must be
As we escape, we feel carefree
And devour on the grass, full of glee.

“What’s this!” the humans cry
Finding their chickens awry
Back to the pen! The chickens sigh
Waving the lush green grass goodbye.

"Don’t you worry, my dear friends
A new plan starts where the old one ends
Tomorrow we will try new offends."
Says Crazy Cookie, as to her feathers she tends.

Mixed feelings about 2024

The year 2024 is ending. This was a rollercoaster year for us. There were many pluses, but also many minuses. Let’s unpack the year 2024 in Elfland.

The positives: The kids and I started the year with a bang. We travelled home from India, refreshed and raring to go. Rosie the dog turned 15 in May, which was a milestone that we were not expecting. We spent a few nights at the camp and did our usual things at Elf land. On a personal front, the most significant progress was that I got my stories “The flying boy” and “Animal diaries” edited. “The flying boy” is the only one that is nearing completion and will be self published this year. But that was not all. Tanya and I attempted NaNoWriMo with some good results. I am hoping to have more writings published from the work that came out of NaNoWriMo.

In terms of travel, the girls and I took a trip to Philadelphia. That was short. We couldn’t do more because of Rosie being too old. But the trip was very fun. I went back to India for two weeks in September which was nice too.

A huge change in our lives occurred when Tanya finished school. It was a whirlwind feeling. I didn’t know whether to feel happy or sad about it. After going through a range of emotions, I can say that this is a positive. Tanya took a gap year and will join Penn State to study biology next June. In the meantime, she has taken a seven month course at a local tech school named CPI to study solar tech. Oh ya, and the biggest thing. She got her driver’s license. That was quite an adventure. She is all grown up now, driving to CPI and back.

Leena has many friends at school and is very mature for her age. She is moving along, growing like a weed as usual. Next year I will write about this interesting girl of ours.

Summer was not my favorite. We stayed busy with the graduation and our houses. The street painting was the summer highlight. We also got two new chickens, Oreo and Paisley. Oreo is sweet. Paisley is a runner and won’t warm up to us. But ok, she has good survival instincts!

The negatives: Ok, I promise to keep the negative section smaller than the positive, although that will be tough. We lost three animals. Baby the chicken passed at the age of 8. It was kind of expected, but still sad. Then, finally in October, the dreaded moment came when Rosie got very sick and had to be put down. Though expected, it was painful. We were very used to seeing her pleasant grandma expression. She would no longer play, but she was still there. Her absence is felt by us. Kylo Ren, our other dog, feels it the most. He seems to be bummed out since she has been gone.

Finally, the nasty shock came in terms of Daisy the chicken’s death. Daisy was only 5 and we were not expecting her to die. But a hungry hawk had other plans and got her a couple of weeks ago. It was painful. She was already dead and apart when we found her. Hopefully she didn’t suffer.

The grand finale of negatives was over the last week when Kylo had bad diarrhea and we got scared that we would lose him. We took him to vet emergency. He responded to all the medicines and is back to normal now.

Yesterday Johan fell of a ladder while working on the camper and ended up with two broken ribs. We are super thankful that he is ok otherwise, but it was a very scary situation. He had to go to the emergency room.

Oopsie, looks like the negatives are as much as the positives. I am happy to say goodbye to 2024, and looking forward to our upcoming year 2025. We have big plans for the year, and hopefully will leave the negative energy behind.

All of us are happy and healthy, although Johan has some mending to do. Our family and friends are also doing well. So we have plenty to be thankful for.

Happy new year 2025!

Our Gingerbread houses were messy as ever

Love is in the air

Kylo Ren the dog: I don’t know about that. I haven’t seen my junkyard girlfriend for ages. When I do see her, she just snarls at me and hides under the truck. I guess she has broken up with me. But don’t you feel bad for me. I think I am safer this way. She looks so mad at me that I am afraid that she will break my skull. A broken heart is infinitely preferable.

Coming to my wife, she doesn’t show me much love these days. Although she has stopped snarling at me lately. She gets bored mid-snarl and wants to nap.

So I am back to being a merry old bachelor. That could be a bad thing. But I have Leena in my corner and she is determined that I show my best side to the ladies. She made me a bow! Take a look at my picture below. Don’t I look handsome?!

In other news from these parts, Leena decided to read a story to us dogs the other evening. Guess which book she picked?! It was one written by my own paws. It was a compilation of all the animal blogs from last year! Leena sat with us and read the stories. I was so happy to remember all the wonderful things we had done last year. But the most fun part was when our names came up in the stories. Leena would call our names out loud. I would pick up my ears and intently listen to all that she had to say about me. It was one of the most relaxing evenings of my life. I fell asleep sucking my paw.

Rosie the dog: Love in the air? It most certainly is. I am so in love with my Papa. I have intensified my yowls. As soon as he comes in a room, I yowl and drag myself to him. But if he tries to cuddle up, I drag myself away. It’s called playing hard to get, and I excel in that game!

Tanya has been showing some extra love to me these days. She was massaging my back the other day. At first I loved it, but after sometime I yowled her away. She is sitting with me a lot these days too. Hmph. About time! Yes, my husband Kylo Ren speaks the truth. Leena did read to us. At first I made a noisy din to drown out her voice. But when I heard her reading out my name, I calmed down and fell asleep. Ah, bliss.

Daisy the chicken: Love is certainly in the air. The girls caught me cuddling against Rosie in the front yard today. They ran to tell their mom. Of course, as usual they didn’t catch on to the real story. I was pretend cuddling with her so that my beak got close to her food. I helped myself to a belly full of her meal. Heh heh.

We chickens have been exploring the yard a lot these days. We inevitably end up in the mud room in hopes of some food. The other day Kylo escaped and almost turned us into food! I think he is still seeking revenge from our heist where we had tied him up. We better watch out.

Now that spring is coming (according to Punxsutawney Phil, the famous groundhog who once bit a mayor’s ear, haha), we have been laying eggs. We have been trying to hide them in new nesting spots to escape the human eye. But they always discover our stash. Our plan is to keep trying. Wish us luck my friends. Lots of love from the animals at the Elf land.