Funny old cars

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While the world chases the next new and big car, they have lost something in this rat race. The charm and fun memories that an old car provides. Thanks to my husband and his passion for old cars, I have a treasure trove of car memories. Here are a few!

Story 1: Loony toons

We drove our diesel cars on waste vegetable oil for many years. This required collecting used vegetable oil from restaurants. We had a deal with the local fried chicken restaurant that we would collect their oil for free every week. This worked well for them since they would otherwise have to pay to get their oil hauled away.

Every week, Johan or I would go to pump out the waste vegetable oil from their oil tubs. It was dirty work, but ok, that’s what we did back then.

One fine evening Johan’s employee, a guy who found everything funny, and I went to collect the oil. I was driving and he was in the passenger seat. On our way home after collecting the waste oil, I was driving the main road back home. Just when I was about to make my right turn to the house, the power steering of the old Mercedes that we were driving failed! So, of course, I couldn’t make the turn. Startled, I yelled at the guy that I couldn’t turn. He went into peels of laughter saying that the power steering had died.

Giving him an incredulous look, I shouted, “stop laughing and pull!” We both pulled on the steering wheel together to make the next right turn, in a move that would remind one of an old fashioned cartoon show where the characters pull on the steering wheel together while their faces are clouded with terror at the impending disaster. Only, in this case, my car mate’s face was alight with amusement.

Anyway, the car did grunt and respond to our endeavors and turned at the next right turn. With a few more similar turns around the block, we made it home, with aching arms and a story to remember!

Story 2: Rattling through the West Coast

This happened when Johan and I were dating (point to note, I still married him. Get ready to applaud!). We took a trip through the West Coast in a ford E350. It was oh, so romantic. We were shaken, literally. That’s less because of the romance, and more because the front axle of our car rattled wildly when we drove at certain speeds. I think a bearing was worn out. Johan did try to fix it many times, but she still rattled. When the rattling would start, we would try to change our speed until the poor car calmed down. This meant often driving at slow speeds.

This rattling car gave us many moments of laughter. For instance, Johan had dropped me off at a copy center to make some photocopies while he went to consult a mechanic in Paige, Arizona. Once I was done, I went and sat by a tree. Soon two native American men (one youngish, and another old) sat on either side of me and were talking to me about marrying into their tribe. Sensing trouble, I nodded and smiled at them until I saw Johan at which I ran saying, “That’s my boyfriend. Bye!” to the annoyed duo.

The most sensational moment came when we had to reach Lake Powell to catch a ferry to get across by Friday at 5 pm. The ferry didn’t run over the weekends. Of course, the car rattled, and we slowed down. Finally we made it just in time to see that the last boat had just left the dock. We stood at the dock, stomping and shaking our heads in dismay, when, lo and behold! The ferry turned around. We couldn’t believe our eyes. As we stared, the ferry came closer and closer until it was back. The kindly captain said that he had noticed us and decided to come back to get us. How amazing.

Story 3: Car lost and found

This was in 2019. We took a family trip through the West Coast and were on our way out from Death Valley. We were traveling in a city bus which had been converted into a camper, and towing an old jeep Cherokee. Dog needed to pee, so we stopped for a brief second. Dog ran around the bus and we followed. Then we stopped dead in our tracks. For, the jeep was gone. The tow rod was dragging on the ground minus the jeep!

After recovering from the minor heart attack following this discovery, we turned around, not sure how long ago we had lost the jeep. Death valley is a treacherous landscape, with valleys everywhere. The car could easily have rolled off one of these cliffs. Hoping for the best, we drove, looking for the car. As always, luck was with us. The jeep was found half a mile off road, miraculously intact, sitting straight, not far away from a cliff. It had hit various boulders and had come to a standstill with not much damage. It looked really funny, its back facing the road, like it was angry at being left behind and sulking!

Johan was able to get it driving, and we drove to the nearest town with him driving the bus and me the lucky jeep. Such a beautiful memory. The section of Death Valley that I drove is my favorite section now. I can still visualize that mindboggling landscape.

To finish this story off, we went to Lone Pine, which is the first town near Death Valley. There, as luck would have it, Johan met a guy at a garage who was an excellent welder. He and Johan made a whole new tow rod gear with double the reinforcements so that the jeep could no longer take off for its personal adventures!

More funny old car stories when inspiration strikes.

My Artsy Adventure – by Crazy Cookie, the chicken

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T'was a fine summer day
We the chickens were hard at play
Enjoying yummy yardy delights
After the morning's egg lay.

With two new chicken arrivals in our yard
Us three old birds had to work hard
To re-establish the pecking order
And introduce the newbies to the old guard.

All was good and dandy with us girls
But dark events were about to unfurl
Had we known about them in advance
They would have made our toes curl.

Then it happened! Entered the human
She harnessed me, always a bad omen!
Nestling me snug in her arms,
She walked through town to meet a new woman.

Now, I am not one to shy away from adventure
I may even vouch for it, as a curiosity quencher
But even the blase ol' me
Had grave misgivings about this unusual venture.

It turned out, my worries were futile
The new woman was sweet, not vile
She fed me some watermelon
And cuddled me for quite a while.

Once calmed, I was released from her hold
As I walked away, lo and behold!
I saw beautiful artwork right at my feet
A painting of us chickens, both young and old!

I could scarcely believe my eyes
A talented artist (who was obviously wise)
Had painted my flock right on the street
I swear it's the truth, not tall tales or lies!

As I enjoyed my new celebrity status
Staring at the art, I remembered the cactus!
We had seen this place during our trip to the west
I reminisced, as my human repacked me in the dreaded harness apparatus.

Our walk back home was also memorable
Saying hello to as many humans as I was able
They gaped, gawked and clicked my pictures
To immortalize my stardom and fable.

Back home I received a heroine's welcome
With many congratulations (although jealous Daisy kept mum)
Now officially atop the pecking order
I am back to laying eggs, and the usual humdrum.

--Crazy Cookie the chicken