It’s that time of the year when we get the camping craze (I guess that happens any time of the year!). We decided to go camping, this time only in Elfie, our little school bus. After much ado, and a lot of scampering about and hurried packing, we were off.

Elfie has a history. Johan converted it to a camper a few years back. Back then, it was the four of us and Rosie, our dog. Not to mention, the girls were little and easy to stow in small beds! We camped in it quite a bit. Then came our gigantic Dory, and Elfie got pushed to a second place in our preferred campers. Dory came after Johan’s mom moved in with us. It has a wheelchair ramp, which helped us with getting mom in and out of the bus easily. Back in 2020, Elfie had a major accident when it skidded off the road and fell over on its side. It was declared as totaled. All the credit to Johan for bringing it from that state to its current shape. We have now camped a couple of times in Elfie, with older girls, two dogs, and this time, along with our chickens! Let me tell you how it went.

We arrived at Bald Eagle State Park on Wednesday afternoon. I took the big red van to help carry our tents, scooters and hammock. It had been raining off and on all day. Luckily the rain tapered off and we were able to set up our campsite. Ever since their great road trip, after which they became the world’s most travelled live chickens, our ladies take travelling in their stride. Out then came from below Elfie’s bed and were set on grass. The dog leashes and runs were put in place and we set up a couple of tents for the night. Tanya set up the hammock and Leena lit the fire. We were good to go!

While the kids went about on their scooters, I made dinner. We enjoyed some bread, soup, strawberries and marshmallows. We played games, read books and enjoyed the campfire.

Thursday was bright, sunny and rain free. After a breakfast of eggs, potatoes and bread, the girls and I went for a hike by the beautiful Bald Eagle lake near the campsite. We spotted a family of fisher cats and Eastern ribbon snakes. Leena, our 11 year old, got very interested in the snakes. She spent every moment that she could trying to track and bother them.

After a simple lunch of wraps, and plenty of relaxing, we decided to take our little paddle boat on the Bald Eagle lake. Tanya, our 16 year old, and I launched off first from point A. Johan and Leena walked Kylo to our rendezvous location, point B. From there, Johan and Leena took a turn around the lake while we waited with the dog. Finally, Johan and I took the boat back to point A. Leena and Tanya walked Kylo back to the bus.

Evening was quiet. We had a dinner of black bean burgers, more strawberries and marshmallow. The next morning was rainy. We stayed in the bus for a big part of the time, reading. Once the sun came out, Leena was back to snake watching. I joined her for a bit. It turned out to be a highlight of the trip, trying to capture images and videos of the shy snakes that slunk off at the slightest noise.

We wrapped up and went to the beach where we had a nice picnic lunch. And then it poured. And poured! That was a good thing, because the messy chickens had pooped everywhere and despite our best efforts, there was still a mess. The rain took care of it for us! It was a nice, quiet and sweet time for us. Over to the animals!

Rosie the dog: Ugh. Once again my humans decided to torture us. Off we went, in this teeny tiny bus which was to be shared between the eight of us. Let me tell you, Kylo Ren, my husband, has a big, fat butt. I don’t fancy being in cramped quarters with him. Luckily, mom had driven the red van and Kylo rode with her. I was with Papa and Leena, my two favorite people! Papa picks me in and out of the camper, so that’s not too bad! We were tied to leashes at the campground. Here we developed the perfect system. Anytime I saw and intruder human or dog passing by, I gave one woof. After that my gallant husband, Kylo Ren took over. He would bark his head off until the humans would yell. Once in a while I would woof for no reason at all, just to get him in trouble. Hee hee. That was the most fun!

On the second night, I slept in the tent with Papa and Leena. I slept right on top of Leena. She is just the right size for me to use as a cushion. Bliss!

The rest of my time at the campground was spent sleeping by the chickens and wondering what on earth was going on. I wonder about that a lot these days. Ok, over to Kylo Ren the great.

Kylo Ren the dog: Hi you all. I am in a hurry so I will keep it short. Why am I in a hurry, you may ask. The answer is, for no reason at all. I am always in a hurry to go from here to there and to be everywhere. There seems to be so much to do. Getting back to the topic of the day. Camping is stressful. I find it exhausting. I have to be constantly on guard against all the intruders. My head hurts by the end of the day. And, get this! On the first night, Tanya and Leena did not sleep in the bus! They actually slept in a tent outside. I was so scared that my hair stood at their end all night! I couldn’t catch a wink of sleep and paced around all over. My lovely wife Rosie was not happy with me at all. But then, she is never happy with me, so I didn’t worry about it! On the second night Tanya slept in the bus with me. That was a lot better.

I got plenty of walks at the campground and I pooped to my heart’s content. That was the highlight of the whole trip! The worst part of the trip was when the humans went on canoes and I was left watching at the sidelines. I was so upset and uncomfortable, it was the worst. Anyway, the trip ended and comfy crate times are back again! Over to Miss… Crazy cookie!

Crazy Cookie the chicken: Off we went again in the yellow bus. But, surprise surprise. The humans were with us in the bus this time. Oh well. We chickens are so camping ready now that we knew just what to do. As soon as we were loaded in the camper, we started working on cleaning and fluffing our feathers in order to show ourselves in the best light. As you may know, we tend to have a fan following wherever we go. We take our stardom very seriously!

Once at the campground, we were set in our little chicken tractor in a grassy patch. We ate every bug, snail, grass piece and tidbits that were available. The humans kept tossing peels and things in our tractor and so we had some friendly competition going on to see who got the most peels.

The next day we were put in the dreaded harnesses and allowed to move more. We stayed close to our tractor, though. We make it crystal clear to our humans that we don’t appreciate the harnesses.

On the second night, our human Papa refused to allow us in the bus. He complained that we pooped too much. Baby was indignant. I found it insulting too. Pooping is our specialty, after all. It makes excellent fertilizer. But no amount of reasoning had any effect on Papa. Psst, I think he doesn’t understand our language. He perched us in front of the van. We proceeded to poop and mess up that entire area. Our humans had a hard time cleaning up. Hmph. Serves them right! Now we are back to our blissful run and have been enjoying the yard. Thanks for reading. It’s roost time.

America is a land of comforts and luxury, or, as the saying goes, the land of milk and honey. However, sadly the unending misinformation and assault on milk has resulted in an undigestible, useless shadow of what was once milk. Rant to follow, consider yourself forewarned.

Humans have been drinking milk for 9000 years. Milk has always been considered as a food that’s good and healthy for us. In the past, humans consumed milk in it’s pure, raw form. Milk contains lactose, or milk sugar, and casein, or milk protein. Both lactose and casein are problematic.

Lactose, or milk sugar, is hard to digest. People need an enzyme called intestinal lactase to digest it. Lactase is found in yogurt and fermented milk products.

Casein, or milk protein, is one of the most difficult proteins for the body to digest. Fermenting or souring milk breaks down casein.

Milk fermentation, souring and culturing is traditionally done in most cultures. As just mentioned, this process takes care of lactose as well as casein. All good so far.

In early 1900s, concerns were raised about bovine tuberculosis and its effect on humans drinking milk. These concerns led to the development of pasteurization.

Pasteurization involves heating milk to 160-165 degrees for 10 – 15 seconds. Ultra pasteurization involves heating milk to 280 degrees for 2 seconds. All the organic milk that I have seen in grocery stores so far are ultra pasteurized.

So, what’s the problem? Pasteurization causes milk’s proteins and amino acids to be less available, promotes rancidity of unsaturated fatty acids and destruction of vitamins. It destroys all enzymes in milk that help in assimilating the milk in your body. Fermentation processes that were needed to break down lactose and casein cannot be done with pasteurized milk. The product that you are left with is undigestible, devoid of proteins and vitamins. The vitamin D3 that’s typically added after pasteurization doesn’t absorb well. Pasteurized milk puts a heavy strain on our digestive system. The digestive system or your gut is a second brain and messing with it will produce a host of problems.

After pasteurization, milk is further subjected to homogenization. This is a process where fat particles of cream are strained through tiny pored under great pressure. Resulting fat particles are so small that they stay in suspension in the milk rather than rise to the top of the milk. However, this also makes milk fat more susceptible to rancidity. The small fat globules also make it small enough to bypass digestion causing a host of problems.

Bovine tuberculosis, which was a motivation behind pasteurization, does not cause tuberculosis in humans. We have been conditioned to believe that pasteurization protects us from infectious diseases. However, all milk farmers, whether selling raw milk or milk for pasteurization, have to adhere to the same standards of modern milking machine and stainless steel tanks, cleanliness and sanitation. My local milk farmer who I buy raw milk from has to follow the same safety and cleanliness standards as any other milk farmer. Moreover, all salmonella outbreaks from contaminated milk in recent decades have occurred in pasteurized milk.

My family started using raw milk in 2015 and we are never going back. The milk tastes like ice cream, it separates into a cream layer which we can use to make ice cream. The move from pasteurized to raw milk was a leap and occurred after a lot of thought, misgivings and discussions with my food scientist friend. We are happy with our decision. It works for our family, is more local, and as such, works better for our local economy and well being.

Oh, my animals are here. I don’t need another heist, so over to them.

Kylo Ren the dog: Groan. My snout is still sore from when Daisy the chicken wrapped the twine around it. I’ll get back at her someday. After all, I am the grandson of Darth Vader (heh heh). Anyway, on to the topic of the day. Milk, you say? I love a creamy drink of milk as much as the next dog. But my absolute favorite dairy product is yogurt. Mom is nice to us (sometimes) and gives us yogurt. I make my appreciation known. You can read it in my eyes. Oh yeah (day dreams). Ok, back to milk. Sometimes I also get to lick out the raw butter containers. Yum. I love butter. But Rosie, my wife, beats me in her love for butter. Let’s hear it from the queen herself.

Rosie the dog: Oh yeah. So my friends, here’s a tidbit to make you sit up! Most dogs are sad when their owners leave. But not me! At least not me when I was younger. As soon as they left, I would find a way to steal their butter and eat it all! I have eaten many a pounds of butter in my life, thanks to my well honed thievery skills. What can I say, I am a wholesome food fan. Oh, here comes Daisy the chicken, the love of my life (sorry Kylo Ren).

Daisy the chicken: Hi Rosie, move over, there’s a dear! Pat on her head with my wings and she is happily passing out. Ok! So my friends. We the chickens love milk. The forms of milk that we like are: raw, yogurt, curd, whey, cream, butter, buttermilk, rancid milk, smelly milk, moldy milk. You name it, we take it! Yes, we the chickens are the best dumpsters you can ever own. Never again will your molding milk products (or any food product, for that matter) will go to waste again. You feed us your garbage, we feed you fresh eggs? Deal? I think its a sweet deal. Ooh, Kylo Ren the dog is charging at me to avenge his capture the other night! Later pals.

https://extension.psu.edu/lactose-in-cow-milk-and-digestion-in-humans

Excerpts from my email conversation with a food scientist

Nourishing traditions by Sally Fallon and Dr. Mary Enig

https://www.livestrong.com/article/323470-advantages-disadvantages-of-pasteurized-milk-powdered-milk/

Crazy cookie the chicken: I have noticed. We the chickens have been under-represented in the last few blogs. How do I know this, you may ask? Well, sometimes when we are free ranging I go up to the window of the human house and look at the computer inside. I have seen new blogs showing up, but we haven’t been asked to contribute.

So a few days ago, I decided to do something about it. I called a meeting of all my sisters. We met on the rocks and tires in the chicken run. Lazy Laurie, rightfully, was indignant and decided to take action! And when Lazy Laurie is mad, things happen!

The humans are very proud of their chicken run construction. They think it is animal proof. Well! The truth is, over the years we have made a teeny tiny door using which we can escape the run. This was made in case we have to exit in extreme emergency.

So tonight, we launched our elaborate plan! Baby, the chicken now at the lowest of the pecking order (yay!) stayed on the roost watching the human house. Her job was to crow loudly three times in case any humans woke up and turned on their lights. The three of us, Lazy Laurie, Daisy and I left our run through the emergency exit. We made our way to the house.

Our elaborate plan had been set into motion earlier in the day when we were free ranging. Lazy Laurie had carefully placed a stone that blocked the door to the mud room from closing. We hoped against hope that the humans hadn’t noticed the stone and had left the door open in their usual careless manner. Aha! We were right. The door to the mud room was open. We were in!

The next challenge was the door that leads to the kitchen. But Daisy, our most docile chicken had the right idea. You may not know this, but Rosie, the old dog is in love with Daisy. Love makes creatures do strange things and we planned to take full advantage of that (heh heh). Rosie was laying in the kitchen as usual.

Climbing over my back, Daisy made a gigantic leap to the window of the kitchen door, squawking loudly as she flew. Unfortunately these days Rosie can barely see or hear. She stayed sleeping. No problem, said Lazy Laurie. She keeps a flashlight under her wing for such emergencies. Lazy Laurie turned on the flashlight and stuck it to Daisy’s comb using a piece of tape. Following this, Daisy repeated her act of launching herself off my back, squawking and noisily flapping her feathers. Whazzat?! Said Rosie as she woke up with a start. She ran to the door.

Rosie’s noise immediately brought Kylo Ren the great young dog scrambling to the kitchen. He is very protective of his old wife, Rosie. This was what we wanted. A third flashing, squawking and flapping launch of Daisy made Kylo pop his eyes out! He went quite mad.

Now, Kylo Ren can open the kitchen door by jumping on the handle. And that’s just what he did. In a thrice the kitchen door was open and Kylo was out in the mudroom trying to get us. But he had underestimated Lazy Laurie. Lazy Laurie puffed up into a massive ball and let out a most terrifying squawk. This temporarily stunned Kylo. While he was trying to figure out his next move, I launched Daisy five times in rapid succession over Kylo’s head. This time she had a twine in her beak. As she launched over Kylo, the twine fell on his snout and as she ran back to me from under him, she formed a neat loop around his nose and mouth. Before Kylo could react, he had five such loops! While he was trying to figure this out, Daisy ran around his paws and tied them up too. Poor Kylo knew he was beaten. When he tried to struggle, Lazy Laurie climbed on his nose, puffing and letting out scary squawks. Kylo fell into silence.

Upon Lazy Laurie’s signal, Daisy and I ran to the computer. Daisy stood guard and diverted Rosie by her love dance. I quickly logged on and wrote this blog (hee hee). Just so you understand, this was no ordinary feat. I had to open the computer, type using my nifty drumsticks and resist the temptation of pooping all over the keyboard. But I did it. The proof is in the pudding, and you, my dear readers, have just been served the pudding!

Uh oh. Here’s the three crow signal from Baby. The humans are waking up. The upstairs lights are on. Time to take off. Let me publish this. Later my pals!

I came across this saying, which looks like yet another attempt to degrade women. Hey, guess what?! I agree. Yes, this is one hundred percent true. You can’t believe what I am saying? Do allow me to elaborate.

Wine is made from fermented grape juice. Sure, there are some health benefits of drinking wine. Due to it’s antioxidant characteristics, drinking in moderation can help with cardiovascular diseases, hypertension, certain types of cancer and diabetes. Of course, many herbs such as clove and oregano have antioxidant characteristics and can provide the same health benefits.

They say, the older the better. Ageing wine helps with the flavor. The original fruit-heavy taste is replaced by hidden flavors such as honey, herbal notes, hay, mushroom, stone and earth. However, from my limited research, I saw that young wine was healthier than aged.

So the older man that now comes in mind when comparing him with aged wine conjures a picture of one of those older men who ride in a convertible, James Bond style. Maybe that looks good to you, maybe it doesn’t. It definitely is not better than it’s younger counterpart since we know that young wine is healthier.

Also note, not all wine ages well. You have to treat it with utmost care, process at the right temperature, humidity etc. So in other words, if we are comparing men and wine, not all men are going to age like the fine wine that this metaphor is trying to get us to imagine. The better kept men, the wealthy age well, and look better. It’s classist, with no actual, core improvement.

Ok, shall we talk about aging milk? If you take milk in it’s pure, raw form and let it sit on your countertop, you will get clabber followed by curd and whey. Skim the top of milk to get cream. If you let this age for a couple of days, you get sour cream. Take some yogurt culture and add it to your warm milk. You get yogurt. Add activated kefir grains to raw milk to get kefir. Skim the top of raw milk and beat the cream to get butter. The leftover water after making butter is buttermilk. Cook the butter to get ghee. Use a cheese culture and proper process, and you have cheese.

Most of us know the health benefits of each of these products. Milk, curd, whey, clabber, cheese, sour cream, yogurt, butter and buttermilk can provide you with complete, nutritious and wholesome meals that keep your body maximally nourished and in the best possible shape.

Getting to the fancy side, milk is used in cakes, icing, ice cream, puddings and a mind blowing range of products.

In other words, as milk ages and ferments, it breaks down the indigestible lactose (milk sugar) and casein (milk protein). So as milk ages, it becomes better for your body and health.

Also, unlike wine, whose antioxidant properties are not unique to it, but are shared by a host of herbs, which makes wine easily replaceable, there’s no other product that comes anywhere close to milk.

Likening a woman’s aging to the aging of milk is extremely appropriate. Just as milk get better and better for your health as it ages, as a woman ages she becomes a mother and a grandmother. Or if not, she will benefit the society with stronger inclination to nurture as she ages, rather than preen about her looks.

So, yes, I agree fully. Men indeed age like wine, and women, amazingly, age like milk.

To end this blog, lines from one of my favorite Beegees song (slightly modified), dedicated to the man who came up with this saying.

I started a joke

It started the whole world laughing

But I didn’t see

That the joke was on me, oh no.

References:

What Really Happens as Wine Ages?

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-08-18/young-red-wine-healthier-than-aged-research-says/12568772

Nourishing traditions by Sally Fallon and Mary G Enig, PhD.

Tis that time of the year. Everything is growing, and growing fast! Since our return from the trip, I have been busy either outside or inside the house. Outside it’s gardening, inside it’s spring cleaning. A bit about our garden. It is divided into many sections. There’s a front yard, which mostly has bushes to detract people from getting too close! The entire yard is fenced in to keep our myriad animals from wandering too far out.

Once you enter the gate, there’s the mid-yard (if there is such a term!) where Rosie frequently spends her days. The pumpkin/sunflower patch is also in the mid-yard.

As you move further in, we have a second fence and gate into the backyard. The backyard is where all the fun begins. Upon entering, the first thing you will see is a flower patch. I put this patch in last year. It needs some more flowers that we will put in this year. The flowers here are perennial, meaning, they come back every year. The perennial flower patch is surrounded by hosta. I am hoping to make this patch bigger, although that has to happen very quickly right about now, since the wet spring makes digging easier. We have a mulberry tree in this patch as well.

Walking down the garden path, beyond the flower patch, you will find our perennial, medicinal herb garden. Again, these herbs come back every year. Few herbs in this patch are: marshmallow, yarrow, sage, echinacea, comfrey, korean licorice mint, lemon balm, chamomile and oregano. This patch continues into our vegetable patch. The herb and vegetable patch are separated by a row of flowers.

In our vegetable patch, currently we have asparagus (which is a perennial), garlic (planted last fall) and peas which we put in last month. The rest of the weedy patch needs work. My plan is to put in less vegetables and more herbs and flowers this year. This is because vegetables are easily available during the growing season at the farmer’s market, but herbs are hard to find.

At the end of the vegetable patch is a tulip patch. The tulip patch is in full sun. Tulips need partial sun (that’s why they are so happy in the sunless Netherlands). This fall I will plant many bulbs elsewhere. Beyond the tulip patch we have a little sitting area and our chicken coop. The garden path ends up into our old and new barn.

A word on the chicken coop. Johan made this coop from an old refrigerator affixed horizontally on the old barn. The fridge space serves as a coop and the freezer is where the chickens lay their eggs. There’s a hole at the bottom of the fridge and a ramp. Chickens walk in and out of the fridge home using this hole. The doors of the fridge were replaced by wooden walls. This is a most excellent coop because it is super insulated. Our coop is unheated.

Upon stepping out of the hole, the chickens walk into a nice run area where they spend their days. When we are out in the yard, they are allowed to free range in our yard.

All the above-mentioned are on the left side of our garden path.

To the right, we have a berry patch (raspberry, blackberry, elderberry, blueberry) right opposite the tulip patch. Further in is a greenhouse made from repurposed windows of an old apartment building. In front of the greenhouse is a corn/strawberry patch.

At the far end of the yard is our huge pond that we put in a few years back. It has goldfish and minnows. We go in with a raft and hang out there sometimes.

The rest of the yard has a tall evergreen and bushes. At the farthest end is a wood and tool shed. See pics!

As you can imagine, this yard keeps me busy. Since it is chemical-free, all weeds have to be pulled out and taken care of. Bushes need trimming. Kids, husband and everyone else leave messes which we deal with as time permits.

To cut a long story short, my yard is messy, exciting, busy and very happening. With summer rapidly approaching, our days will be spent here. Now I am off to take some cool pics and work further in my yard.

Random duck in the yard:

Hello. I am a central Pennsylvania duck. My job every spring is to scope out all the ponds in town so that my girl friend and I can have some adorable, fuzzy ducklings. Unfortunately the best pond in town is what I have now started calling the pond of horrors. Read on to know why and hopefully you will agree with me.

We ducks are excellent at flying despite our huge bodies. A couple of years back my girlfriend and I were out on a date flying around and we found this awesome, huge pond. Its all natural, no chemicals, so we loved it and decided to have our ducklings there. My girlfriend is big into unobstructed views and we had it all here. Or so it seemed.

Unfortunately it was not to be. Unlike all the other ponds and backyards in town, this pond is heavily used. Firstly, the humans that come with the pond are always outside in the yard. And I mean, always. The mom is out digging in the grass for hours on end, pulling weeds, cutting this and that or digging. What she hopes to find in the depths of the yard is anyone’s guess. Then there are the two human girls who hang out there rather than spending time in their huge house watching the big screen that many other humans stay glued to, while we the ducks take over the pond.

When the human girls are not there, there’s a big monster dog named Rosie who stands in the shallow end of the pond, staring at the pond and thinking about the meaning of life for hours on end. I don’t get it. Leave the pond to the water creatures, for Pete’s sake.

When Rosie the dog leaves, its the chickens that are pecking about and giving us the death stare. Trust me, it is a romance killer to have those unblinking eyes staring us down. Once I even saw a couple of chickens in the water. Now hold on, these land birds should stick to their territory.

Then there’s their terrifying young monster boy dog named Kylo. When my girlfriend and I are finally trying to have some alone time together, in he comes in a tearing rage. He runs all around, barking and biting in the air until we have to leave. It’s such a waste of this lovely pond.

Sadly my girlfriend broke up with me this year after having patiently tried to make this pond work for many years. The other day I decided to come here for some alone time and to plan my future. But it was not to be. The older human girl came tearing out to chase me away. She took a water gun and tried to spray water on me. Now in the past, I flew off whenever this happened. But I no longer do that, reason being I finally thought it out. Hey, my butt is already wet, so what’s a few more drops of water? But then, horror struck.

The human girl pushed something in the water. I looked carefully and it was another duck. I was so excited. I thought, things are finally turning around and the human girl is sending me a new girlfriend. But it was not to be. As the duck approached, I found that she had no head! Yikes. And to top it all, she was followed by three ducklings, but they were on their side, heads in water. They were obviously dead! My eyes popped 6 inches out of my head before I decided finally that I had had enough of this pond. I give up. I am leaving this pond of horrors for good. Adieu all you living and dead creatures. If you don’t believe my story, check out the picture I took of this headless duck.

Kylo Ren the dog:

Bark bark. Go away, random duck and NEVER come back. Hmph. My pond. The duck took too much space writing his musings. Let me tell you about my day so far. This morning my Papa wanted to go upstairs for a shower. He asked me if I wanted to come along and hang outside the shower door while he showered.

Now unlike my usual decisive self, I stood at the door for a minute wondering what to do. So he took off and shut the door behind him. As soon as he left, I was aware that I had made the biggest mistake of the day. So I found Papa’s sock and ran with it in my crate, as a replacement for the original Papa. Of course, mom saw what I was doing and followed me to the crate and took away my sock. I was sulky. But to make up for it, she made the bed in my crate nice and fluffy. Aww, mom is not so bad!

Before I conclude, random duck speaks the truth about one thing. There are dead ducks and ducklings in the pond. I have seen them too. The other day I jumped up on the bed in the den when no one was looking. I like to do this so that I can scope out the backyard to look for any intruders. When I saw the pond, my heart stopped. For there was a duck, headless. Behind this duck, were three fluffy, cute ducklings, unaware of their parents’ obvious mutilation. But when I looked carefully, these ducklings had fallen over on their sides with their heads submerged under water. I tried to tell Leena, but she just laughed it off calling them plastic. Whatever that means. Sometimes Leena has a dark side that I wonder about. Ulp, I better go sleep on my favorite comfort pillow.

Another sugar bashing party starts. It’s no secret, my family and friends know I hate sugar with a vengeance. This one condiment is a bane to our society and is hugely responsible for the decline of health, and consequently, our civilization. An unhealthy society is a corrupt society. Sugar is linked to diabetes, obesity and cancer. As sugar consumption increases, our society declines. Here are my latest thoughts on this topic.

It all started with Columbus, who brought in sugar cane with him in the 1400s. Back in history refined sugar was a luxury, exotic spice. The sugar exploitation began with the increase in production. Sugar production is labor intensive, difficult and dangerous. In order to ramp production, slaves were utilized. Commodification of sugar changed the world. Indigenous lives were destroyed in places such as Central, South America, Mexico, Guyana, Cuba, Barbados, Jamaica and almost 11 million Africans were enslaved. In the mills, children worked alongside adults in a dangerous, highly disciplined environment of boiling hot kettles, open furnaces and grinding rollers. Fatigue could result in losing an arm or being flayed. Torture chambers were used wherein a disobedient slave would stand in a box with nails placed in a way they couldn’t move, chase flies or ants that crawled up on their body. Blacks are still not able to own sugar farms.

In 1790s, British population got informed and wanted to do away with sugar produced by slave labor. So they abstained from sugar produced by slaves in the West Indies. It was one of the first modern consumer boycotts. The search for free sugar (sugar not produced by slaves) led the British to India. Turns out, there’s no free rides in life. Indian sugar has a similar barbaric history with a majority of the sugar produced by migrant laborers. Hey, the production has the same levels of risks, whether in the East or the West. With stakes this high and the profits this large, sacrifices have to be made right? As long as someone else is being sacrificed.

Well, fates have a curious way of handing justice. As it turns out, exploiting someone else to get to a resource didn’t do us much good. As a society we got sicker. Our ancestors ate fruits and grains in their unrefined states. In this form, sugar and starch supports life but in their refined form as we currently consume it, sugar is detrimental because it is devoid of bodybuilding elements. Our own body’s store of vitamins, minerals and enzymes are needed to digest refined carbohydrates. So this form of sugar depletes our body. When we consume sugar without fat and protein, they enter the bloodstream in a rush and overtime our endocrine system will be disturbed resulting in other pathologies, such as allergies, obesity, alcoholism, drug addiction, depression, learning disabilities and behavioral problems.

There’s lot more to unpack but I am going to stop. What’s the solution? We need to lower our sugar consumption by a huge amount. This is easier said than done, I am aware. However, sugar dullens your senses to the point that all other flavors become unenjoyable. There’s so much more to life than this.

As I have mentioned in previous blogs we gave up sugar in 2014. We went cold turkey. This was after our younger daughter got cavities. It worked well for us and this one choice was a turning point for our family. We went down this path which takes us far away from the normal society. Just giving up sugar makes you depart from civilization, which is amazing to observe. However, it is also very difficult. Insidious ingredients in all grocery store items places a huge burden on the cook to produce every meal and snack at home. Slowly, sugar has crept back in our lives. Although it is low, I can still notice it. It maybe time to tighten my reins again!

My animals are getting annoyed by my ramblings and so its over to them.

Rosie the dog: I am not a sugar dog, let me tell ya. I am a meat gal. I told you before, when mom’s parents were here (Nana and Nani), I would beg Nani to give me some meat. Instead Nana gave me unrefined sugar. That was the beginning of my addiction. But I am proud to say that I have kept my unhealthy desires well under check. I don’t do much sugar and I do no grains whatsoever. If someone gives me a pizza or bread or pasta, I give them such a disdainful look that they shrink back looking like shriveled prunes. My family eats cookies every morning. Let me tell you, I will eat my mom’s home made maple syrup cookies and reject store bought cookies (umm, I do like biscottis dipped in tea. So that’s an exception, yum!).

Moving to other topics, I have been enjoying the spring more than the rest of my family. I lay in the yard at a sunny spot for hours. Once in a while I remember my Papa and cry to come in. After 10 minutes of being in, though, I yowl to go out again. So I am keeping my family busy and fit with my demands. Heh heh. Oh, here’s Kylo Ren. Over to the supreme leader (hmph, snicker).

Kylo Ren the dog: Oh, looks like my wife Rosie is in an extra good mood today to have called me the supreme leader! On to the topic of the day. Yes, I like sugar and am not afraid to say it. But then I like a lot of things. When I first came to this household, I was so hungry that I ate anything and everything. There were two reasons for that. Firstly I had stomach worms. I know, it sounds bad, and it was. Before bringing me home for the first time, my Papa noticed the worms and took me directly to the vet to get a dewormer medicine. That, plus the pumpkin seeds that mom fed me, helped me get rid of the worms within a couple of days. After that I was ravenous. I kept eating and I kept growing. I would run off with a carrot or green bean, really, anything that I could find. My family thought my food obsession was hilarious. To tease me, they once gave me a Bittergourd which is called a Karela in Hindi. Guess what, I ate it! I am proud of myself.

The second reason for my enormous appetite, of course, was that I had to grow, and grow fast. I needed to grow into my paws and ears, so that my anatomy made sense. When I was a pup, my huge ears and paws with my tiny body made a funny sight. I had to change that and become the supreme leader Kylo Ren that I was destined to be.

Anyway, back to the topic, I eat any kind of cookie offered by my humans, or cake or ice cream. But just like my dear wifey, meat is my favorite. I will pick a bone over a cake any day. Oh, here comes the chicken. Over to Ms. Baby.

Baby the chicken: We like sugar. You may have heard before that we would fight over pancake bits during our great California trip. Once when the human girl Leena was little, she was out with a cookie. Guess what (hee hee). Dandelion and I coordinated a heist. She pecked Leena’s knee and when she was distracted, I jumped and stole her cookie! She went running and crying inside to complain to her mom. Mom, of course, gave her another cookie. Now wiser, she ate it indoors (sigh). We are also very good at toppling her maple vanilla yogurt so that we get it all.

That said, give me an earthworm and a cookie and I would pick.. you guessed it! The earthworm, no questions asked.

Laters my pals.

References:

https://www.nytimes.com › interactive › 2019 › 08 › 14 › magazine › sugar-slave-trade-slavery.html

https://www.climatechangenews.com/2022/12/19/migrant-labourers-suffer-exploitation-in-indias-sugar-fields/

Nourishing traditions by Sally Fallon and Dr. Mary Enig

Lately my schedule has freed up. Ever since we got back from this long road trip I spend my days laying in my crate. That’s not to say I am not busy. Apart from protecting my family I have two additional jobs. Chasing ducks out of the backyard pond and snapping at the bees that have appeared in the backyard. Regardless, today seems like a good day to sharpen my writing skills and to tell you my (ongoing) autobiography.

I was born at a puppy mill. At least, that’s what I think it was. My dad was a sable German Shepherd and my mom a pure German Shepherd. When I was about two months old I was bought by a man who lived in Pittsburgh, PA. I was very curious to see how my human would turn out. It was just him and me. My human lived in a fancy house. At first I was mighty impressed.

However, things started going wrong. My human worked long hours and would be gone. Worst still, I didn’t get to enjoy that fancy couch or even eat a pillow in frustration. I was kept in a small crate for hours on end. A kind lady would stop by to feed me and walk me. But other than that it was pretty much me and Charlotte (the spider). once I snapped at her, after which she spun “you’re nuts” on her web. I have to say, I agreed with her. My confinement drove me absolutely crazy.

My owner called me Maui after some island he had visited. He liked me, but he ran a restaurant and was gone until the middle of night. I guess when I started howling all day and night he decided it was time for me to go.

My owner put an advertisement for someone to adopt me at a website named rescueme.org. The rest is history. I can say I got super lucky!

Rosie told me the story (after the first month when she stopped terrorizing me) of how I was found by my mom and dad. They had been looking for a dog for Tanya (Rosie could never figure out why) and mom found me on rescueme.org. She thought that I was stunning (ahem). Dad talked with my owner and he decided to get me the next day!

My owner bid me farewell. He was nice enough to give my toys and crate. I must say that I wasn’t too sad to leave him.

The drive to my future home was exciting. I wondered where life was taking me. We arrived home in the afternoon. My papa went in and the whole family came out, along with Rosie! The kids were very surprised to see me but Rosie started barking and I started whining. Needless to say, the introduction to Rosie didn’t go well.

My parents wisely decided to initially separate Rosie and me. I was more than happy about it. Rosie was wildly scary. After about a month I won her over. She must have realized that I was her future husband and she had to let me grow, if she wanted a husband at all! The first night at my new home was my last night in the tiny crate. My new family was astounded about how tiny the crate was. My entire body was oozing out of it. The next day they got me a huge crate. I loved it! Since that day it has been my favorite place in the house.

I found every member in my family interesting. They doted on me. But the first couple of days I was almost continuously on leash with the older kid Tanya. At night she would lay next to my crate. I got the picture. I was to be Tanya’s dog. I had no reason to complain. Tanya is the smartest, prettiest, most charismatic owner I could ask for. She is a natural leader. Oh, I am so lucky! One interesting fact. When Tanya was younger, she loved Toothless, the dragon. She told me that she always wanted it. And guess what! I have a dragon mark on my head. You can find it if you look. Ain’t life amazing?

In case I haven’t mentioned it before, I am very smart. It’s true, ask anyone around here. Most of the times my humans sigh about it. I get it, it’s hard to have a dog as smart as me. I knew the way back to my new house after the very first walk. I came completely potty trained. Along with being smart, I am also an alpha. Both these traits proved a significant challenge to Tanya and the rest of my family. I had to get them trained. You don’t believe me? Read on.

As soon as I would step outside for a walk, I would bark at every passerby. That was cute for two days, after which my humans felt they had to make me stop. I would lunge at passersby and I would bark out of the window. I would growl menacingly at the neighbors. My humans grew alarmed. They got two dog trainers involved. As it turned out, the dog trainers trained my humans, not me! They were taught how to take me for walks in a way that I wouldn’t be dangerous. Guess what! It involved a lot of treats! Thus began a long, ongoing journey of training where my owners learnt how to be super consistent with me so that I could remember not to act up. There was a plan for the entire walk. I will try to find the plan and post a picture in a later blog. Jokes aside, I am very grateful that my owners take the time to train themselves and me. We work as a team and I no longer act menacing toward strangers and other dogs. Without their patience I could have ended up in the pound and my autobiography could have been a lot shorter (ulp).

Getting back to my smarts, my humans are surprised at how easily I can understand everything they say. Its true, I find it very easy. Their expressions tell me all that I need to know. Despite my German heritage I have picked up English very well! I also know the chicken language. Most of the times they say “danger is around” when I come by (heh heh). But I don’t think I can harm them. They are like my sisters. And they lay yummy eggs.

My owners may have trained themselves and me, but I still have the great protector trait. If Rosie is outside and barks, I go crazy trying to protect her. I have also guarded Tanya. Under my care, she has grown into an adult. And heaven save any human that tries to harm Leena. That would probably be the last time they see their hands (or chin). To the outside world I am ferocious. At home with my family I am a fluffy bunny. I can cuddle my humans as well as they cuddle me. I put my front paws around them. Sometimes I also use all my paws for a full hug.

My world went a bit haywire this year when my family decided to take a trip for 3 months in the West. You can find all our blogs below, but to summarize, I had a lot of duties on the road. I tried to stay close to my family so that I could protect them. I tried to help them on hikes by finding the easiest paths for them. My humans don’t seem to know much about how to use their legs. Get this, they only walk on their hind paws. I don’t get it. Moving on, I protected the chickens from the wild coyotes and other dogs. In the evenings I would cuddle with all the humans. I also got a lot of walks. Thankfully now we are back home and I have less to do. The one good thing about this trip was that it calmed me down. Home seems less of a menace now. I no longer feel the need to protect everyone at every hour.

This May I turn 4. My journey continues. I will keep blogging and updating all you fine folks with my activities.

A twist in the tale. This is not my usual mommy blog, but rather, my stray thoughts on feminism. These thoughts have long brewed in the back of my mind. Time to put them down. Just so you know, this is a write up on feminism, not a male bashing party. That would be fun too, but maybe for another time!

First and foremost, I am very thankful to the great ladies of the past who started the feminist movement to fight for the basic rights of women, such as the right to vote, a right to have a say and an effort to gain the elusive equality that women yearn for. Without their tireless efforts, we would still be in the dark ages, no more than cattle or other such “properties of men”.

That said, I have long felt that feminism stopped short to achieving its goals. So the question is, what is the goal? Is it to gain equality for women? That is a worthy goal, except for an important fact. We gain equality that brings us equal to men in a framework that is essentially patriarchal. In other words, it’s a man’s world, babe!

So we tighten our belts, go out, work shoulder to shoulder with men, hob nob with men, try to infiltrate the old boy’s club so that we can climb the corporate ladder, we study hard, try to prove that we are as good as them and so on and so forth. However, we don’t want to show our vulnerabilities, our feminist side too much, we don’t form the old girl’s club (because that’s so uncool), dress too feminine lest we are not taken seriously, show our motherly side (hey, that’s unprofessional), you get it! Let’s be women but stay in line, fit in a man’s world. While doing this, we lose the essence of being a woman. In other words, the higher you climb on a corporate ladder, the lesser you are going to be in touch with your feminine side. This is because our society is structured in a patriarchy and as such, works for men, but not for women.

In order to embrace the opportunities that women got thanks to the feminist movement, we rushed ahead and did all the things that men do and made our way through the world as men do. We are successful, no doubt, but we aren’t women.

I thought more about it and wondered what is missing. My search led me to matriarchal societies. There have been some in history and they still exist. The central theme of a matriarchal society is nurturing. Ok, that starts sounding a lot better to me already. Women like nurturing, that’s a fact. If this was the central theme of a society, women would prefer to live in such a society. The little bit that I did read on matriarchies showed a balance of power. This means men were not relegated to a lower position. Rather, they did things such as building, construction, and were also part of the government. The nice thing in these societies seemed to be that matriarchy did not mean women were superior and on the top everywhere. Rather, the structure seemed such that the central theme was nurturing and otherwise a more or less equitable distribution of power.

The question is, what’s better? I don’t have a perfect answer. Matriarchies haven’t had much luck and will definitely fail when encountering patriarchy. This is because a patriarchal society focuses on development and growth. and as such, is more advanced, while a matriarchal society focuses on nurturing. A more advanced society is bound to prevail.

Does that make patriarchy better? Look around you to get the answer. Are people happy? Has the unhinged growth led to any kind of a utopia? Is our society on a positive or a negative path? Is our growth sustainable? Are we not growing at the expense of someone else, in some other part of the world? Are we at war? Is our environment getting more and more polluted? I don’t believe our current society is working.

What’s the solution? Men and women have their strengths and weaknesses. A perfect world in my opinion would use the strengths and recognize the weakness. Both should be celebrated for what they are. The more I think about it, the better off we would be with a society tending toward matriarchy but essentially equal. It would be very good if people would not try to figure out who is better, as if there is a competition. No competition is necessary. On the contrary, it is ridiculous. Cooperation would be so much more fruitful than competition. A world where nurturing is central, rather than monetary gain, or endless growth would benefit everyone. Our current focus on growth is ridiculously unsustainable and is always at the cost of someone else, be it a different part of the world, the animal world or by stealing Earth’s resources. Such a travesty.

If we do have to function in a patriarchy, for as long as the party lasts (and it won’t last for that long, the way things are going), women would do good not to first and foremost bash the feminist movement. Women that talk against the feminist movement are truly to be pitied for their lack of understanding as to how things were in the past. Women should also support each other. This is an important point, because in order to move up in the man’s world, women often put each other down. That’s a real shame. Do not do that.

Men on the other hand, need to please stop referring to women as the weaker sex. Please, kindly pull your heads out of the sand and remember for just one second. Every last human on the earth has been produced by a woman who you address as a weaker sex. It would be laughable if it wasn’t so sad. Women, do not buy into the narrative that you are weaker. You are disadvantaged due to your circumstances.

Let’s try cooperation, nurturing, and slow down on the road of growth to nowhere. We are heading toward abyss.

Oh wow. My animals have things to say on this subject as well!

Rosie the dog: Wait, what? Male higher than female? Since when? I didn’t get the memo. That memo should be torn up. You don’t believe me? Check out Kylo Ren, my husband and me. If I as much as yawn and show my teeth by mistake, he starts yowling in a corner and I have to give him his favorite comfort pillow. Eyeroll. Now, that’s not to say that my husband is useless. He takes on his guarding role very extremely seriously. And he is perfect at it. He can pounce on any human that comes too close. I know my human girls Tanya and Leena (and even my weak Papa and Mom) are safe with him. He is also sweet and loving and has never been afraid to show it. I guess you can say that he is thriving under my matriarchy. Let’s see what he has to say.

Kylo Ren the dog: Yes, whatever you say, my dear wife Rosie. I don’t know what she is talking about. Let me go find my bone. All I can say about this topic is, girls rock. My whole entire world is all girls. There’s my Papa, the lone boy around other than me. And if there’s any doubt who is the boss, let me tell you, it is my girl Tanya. So yes, I can go for a matriarchy (I don’t have a choice I think!). Let’s pass it on to the chickens.

Lazy Laurie the chicken: Oh ya, we girls rule. You don’t believe me? Let me refer you to the authorities. Do you know that in my town, only chicks are allowed, no roosters? That means my humans cannot have a rooster. Do you know why? They are way too noisy and violent. So if it is good enough for the Borough, it is good enough for us. In our neck of the woods at least, women rule the roost! Thanks for the applause. Now let me go lay an egg.

Yes, the chickens sure did go to the ocean, but Crazy Cookie the chicken will be mad at me if I told the story. So I will leave that part for her and conclude this travelogue.

Our second day at Ocracoke island was sunny. We went out for breakfast and then the kids hit the beach. I decided to take Kylo for a long walk along the beach. Ocracoke is one of those rare places where you can find long stretches of secluded beaches, at least during off season. This made the walk with Kylo a real pleasure. We went a good way up and down the beach while the kids made sand castles. In the afternoon we did more schoolwork. We were on a fast track to finish all of Leena’s pending schoolwork.

Day three at the beach was colder. After breakfast out and another walk with Kylo, Johan decided to take the kids on a bike ride along the beach. That day was very windy. He figured that if they went in the direction of the wind, the wind would push them and make the bike ride easy. I was to pick them up after they had gone for about 4 miles. The plan went beautifully, and none of them were too tired from their bike rides.

Once I picked them up, we drove back against the wind and then Johan dropped Leena and me off on the beach to ride our bikes, again with help from the wind. The bike ride was great fun. We came across a gigantic, but sadly dead, beached sea turtle. While sad, it still was a breathtaking sight. We went back to our campground and let the park rangers know about the turtle in case it was alive. They checked on it and informed us that it was indeed dead, with old age the probable reason.

The next day was Saturday. The weather was turning colder and we had had enough of the island. So we took the ferry and drove to the next island, the Hatteras island. The last time that we were here, we had spent a night in the dunes under the starry sky. This time round, we were hoping to repeat that experience. However, the weather turned cloudy and it started raining. I took Kylo for a last beach walk, after which we left the Outer banks. After this windy and wet weather, we started feeling eager to go home.

We drove that afternoon and almost all of the next day toward our destination, Frederick, MD. Johan has a friend called Ronnie who owns a school bus and volunteers at the Walkersville Southern Railroad in Frederick. We decided to camp at the railroad for that night. The drive to Frederick was mostly uneventful, except when we saw a high speed car chase involving 3 cop cars along the highway around Richmond, VA.

We met Ronnie and his wife Deanne that evening and went out for dinner together. It was a nice time, although I was coming down with a serious cold. The next morning we got a tour of the railroad and and some diesel and steam locomotives. That was a fun morning. We spent some time with Ronnie and Deanne. For their living, they make and sell boats from scratch. It was interesting to talk to them and check out the train carriages. We left Frederick around noon and drove straight home. Everyone was very excited to be back and to find our house unharmed after being left locked up for almost three months. The chickens were remarkable in their memory. The kids set them down in the backyard. They dust bathed and then walked straight over to the coop after being away for almost three months! So amazing.

Now that we are home, new house and yard projects beckon. Spring is an exciting time in State College. Let’s see where we go from here. Oh, here come my dear animals. Let’s see what they have to say.

Rosie the dog: I was about having enough of the bus. I was at my wit’s end. And then, suddenly, just like that, I got a whiff of smell. Could it be home?! Yes it was. Although we were still a few miles away from home, I got the memo. We were almost home. I was up on my paws and started my whining and drooling routine which I have perfected over the years. It goes like this. I get the whiff of home. I start whining. I run from one end of the bus to the other, pacing, drooling, stomping about, falling, you name it. In case there’s any doubt left in anyone’s mind about my interest in being home, I make my intentions crystal clear. Even the densest human gets it. Home is near, and I want to be there. Do not, I repeat, do not drive any further. At last we got home. I almost fell out of the bus (this is easy, since lately all I do is fall) and dragged myself to the yard. Ah, bliss. I go to sleep.

Kylo Ren the dog: (Pokes Rosie). Oh, looks like my wife has fallen asleep on the keyboard. Let me gently move her over so she doesn’t bite my head off. Ok, there, there. Blanket over her. Ok, my turn to blog! So mommy dragged me all over the beach. I wanted to go and destroy Tanya and Leena’s sand castle instead, but mom wouldn’t have it. If I turned around to look at them, mom would call me a lazy butt and make me jump in the waves. I jumped at her whenever she called me a lazy butt and play-bit at her jaw. It was good fun! We went for lots of walks along the beach. At one point I saw Tanya and Leena on a faraway dune, and I recognized them right away. Since there was no one on the beach, mom let me off leash and I shot off like an arrow toward Tanya. Leena hid behind the dune and then I shot off to find her. Wow, that was so much fun!

We left the beach and then went to some strange location where there were other humans that I wasn’t allowed to bite (umm, lick). They even went in Dory the bus and I still couldn’t get at them. Hmph. Anyway, from there we once again drove for hours. At some point, my dear wife Rosie woke up from her slumber and started whining and stomping about. I kept well out of her way but was still curious what the fuss was all about. She wouldn’t let up! Then suddenly I got a familiar whiff, and bam! We were out of the bus and inside the house. And there it was! My CRATE!! I jumped in it and sat for a second before madly tearing about the house. We were finally home. I must say I was impressed by my wife. She knew that we were home for miles. That’s some sharp gal right there. The bad thing about being home is that the girls have been going to their awful school again. That means I have to part with them for hours in a day. Sigh. I guess you have to take the rough with the smooth. Over to Crazy Cookie!

Crazy Cookie the chicken: My drumsticks are shaking so hard with excitement that I can barely type. Do you remember that crumb that I left under the tire the day we were unceremoniously dumped in Elfie for the road trip? Guess what! It’s still there. Or, was still there. I have eaten it. Yum.

So yes, my friends. My human mother speaks the truth. We have wet our feet in the Atlantic ocean. It was as hateful as I had expected it to be. But, hey, we did it! This was the second time I ended up in water. The first was when Baby and I fell in the backyard pond. Back then we had had to use our wings as oars to swim out of the pond before our slow humans came to our rescue. The ocean was a whole different story. Our humans turned mean and actually took us to the waves and set us down with big beaming smiles on their faces. I mean, what did they expect? That we will start riding the waves on a surfboard or something? Obviously we just walked away from the water in a huff. The only positive thing that came out of the ocean visit is that I can gloat about it and be right at the very top of the pecking order of the world’s entire chicken population. I mean, how many chickens can say that they have been to the beach? Not many, if any at all. So yes, my friends, here’s my poem to conclude this memorable road trip.

We fly high,

We touch the sky,

Atop the pecking order,

Until the day we die.

— Crazy Cookie

And that’s not modern poetry! Fear not, my fans. I will keep up with the blogging. Until next time, adieu.