Ladies, Do humankind a favor. Stop being perfect!

Why do women always try to show a perfect house, perfect yard, a perfect husband and family, perfect kids? You get the idea. Women are fixated at the idea of showing that their lives are perfect. They will go to any lengths to hide the glaring imperfections in their life and to only show the carefully edited, perfect world with pained, but smoothened, happy smiles. Why do we do this? Let’s do a pros vs cons list of this to analyze if showing or pretending that we have perfect lives is a good idea or not.

Before I am taken apart for aiming this at the ladies, men do it too. However, men do a lot of strange things and I am less involved and interested in their reasoning. I don’t have the energy to figure them out.

Pro 1: We make our friends jealous! Oh yeah. That bully who always tried to put me down. Well, here’s my perfect life right back at you! Let me rub that in your face. Take that, miss. Look at my perfect husband, y’all. And my beautiful car, my picture perfect vacations. Ah, that felt nice. Revenge is sweet, isn’t it?

Except for one tiny thing. That bully is still living in your head. She still has power over you that makes you lie about your life. Wouldn’t it be much better to shake her off?

“Hey”, you say. It’s not just for the bully. I am showing off to all my friends.

If we are talking about friends, or in other words, people we like, Guess what?! Basic human nature 101 dictates that you will actually never show off to people you like, if they are inferior to you. You would be compassionate and try to downplay your fortunes to make your unfortunate friend feel better. In other words, you are only showing off to people you consider are more fortunate than you. You may be jealous of them, and are competing with them to create an illusion of your life that is not true. So if we do need to create this illusion, are our so called friends actually our friends? Or, are we being nice to our less fortunate friends?

Pro 2: We make our neighbors or any random stranger who happens to see us either in the real world or on social media jealous. Why would we want to do that? Why put in all this effort and live a lie to make unknown people jealous? All we achieved from our hard work is to make other people feel bad about their life and existence. And to do this, we had to spend time, energy and resources. What can possibly be good about such a situation.?

Allow me to list the cons.

Con 1: It is not real. Everyone’s life is very challenging. We are only wasting our time and energy showing a perfect life. We know it is not true. Such a lie will drain you and make you feel empty. The praises are meaningless, you know it. Now, we don’t have to share our misfortunes with anyone and everyone, but we can choose to be silent, rather than sharing a lie. It’s also exhausting to keep up with a lie.

Con 2: It is a waste of our resources. We could spend that time doing something useful. We can learn a new skill, pursue our hobbies, read a book, watch a movie. Learning a new skill or pursuing a hobby might actually lead to a better life thereby making your artificially perfect world actually achievable.

Con 3: Such showing off is bad for the larger society, the world, our planet. We might be wasting money buying useless stuff to show off our shiny homes. We might be buying brand names, or indulging in travel, or other wasteful practices. This is bad for the environment. There is no positive, and plenty of actual, tangible negative in this scenario.

Con 4: You open yourself to being exploited and conned by advertisers. They target this exact urge to show off to push you to buy a new this or that, thereby further deteriorating our environment. This means, you are playing with the future of your kids by indulging in such practices.

Con 5: You are pushing other women to do similar things. Women are already overworked. They are already expected to show perfect behavior. Do not be a part of this toxic culture. Let women be themselves, pursue their interests and make a place for themselves in the world. Do not derail others by your show of perfection that others will then pursue. This chain reaction is bad for everyone, and especially for women.

For the good of humanity, and especially for your sisters, stop pretending that you are perfect and have a perfect life. It is ultimately the imperfections that spice our lives up. A mediocre, perfect life is boring and uninspired. To aspire for it is a death sentence to your personal growth and aspirations. Let us be ourselves, show ourselves as we are (or keep it private), and strive to be better people, rather than show ourselves as an artificial, fake person.

The Rosie Era ends

Rosie dog passed away yesterday at the ripe old age of 15.5 years. It was a rollercoaster day with lots of very strong emotions. I wanted to document it before the feelings fade.

Rosie had been drinking excess quantities of water lately. We weren’t sure why. She would not drink much during the day, but would start drinking bowls after bowls in the evening and at night. As we now know, this marked the beginning of the end.

Friday was a good day for her. We made sure she drank water during they day (by adding some milk into her water, which she loved). She also walked around the house on her own, following Leena as Leena offered her treats. Rosie seemed happy and animated. She ate normally.

However, Johan had been saying that her abdomen makes noises and also she panted, apparently in pain. On Saturday morning, her stomach was very bloated. She looked out of it. She didn’t care about treats. It didn’t look good. Johan and the girls went for breakfast and Rosie was outside the door. I sat by her to keep an eye. At some moment, she got very uncomfortable and could not find a comfortable position. She was trying to throw up and also crying. That was the moment that the thought went across my mind, this was not life anymore, but rather a painful wait for death.

Johan, Leena and Kylo came home. I told Johan what he already knew. She needed to be put down. It was Saturday but luckily our vet was open until noon. We got a noon appointment (with death). I called Tanya who took the day off from her work at Webster’s cafe and came home. Her boss, Elaine, knows Rosie since Rosie was a pup, and must have been sad. On a side note, we had first met Rosie outside Webster’s! She had shown up frolicking about with her foster mom when she was three months old.

By now everyone was in tears. Rosie was very uncomfortable. Leena was upset because she didn’t think we should wait until 12. Anyway, we all minus Kylo Ren got into the van. We drove out into the country. Rosie calmed down a bit as we drove. The movement of the van must have made her feel better.

The last 1.5 hours driving around with Rosie were very beautiful. It was a sunny fall day. When we first left home at 10:15 am or so, we thought of trying to find a different vet. However, when Rosie looked calm in the van, we just decided to drive around until noon. So that’s what we did. This was a time we will cherish. We were quietly watching outside, sometimes crying, coming to terms and feeling Rosie. We even stopped somewhere in the fields. Johan got Rosie out hoping she would like to pee. But Rosie was done. She just sat there. She was momentarily calm, laying in the sun.

At noon we were at the vet. The vet, Susan, is an elderly lady who I haven’t met. I don’t enter veterinary clinics as a rule due to my cat allergies. Anyway, Susan came with her walker. She had graciously agreed to put Rosie down in our van itself. As we held Rosie, Susan gave her the first shot which would get Rosie to fall asleep. After about 10 minutes, she gave her the shot to stop her heart. Susan was very sweet, and even hugged Rosie as she passed.

It’s too difficult to describe all that we went through at those moments, so I won’t try. But along with grief, we were worried if her passing would be calm and painless. To our relief, it was. We drove home with our beloved friend to bury her. Once home we decided to let Kylo see Rosie and understand what happened. So we placed her in the living and then let Kylo go to her.

Kylo Ren the dog: Thanks mom. I will take it from here (respectfully). So yes. There was a lot going on yesterday. Rosie was not well. I tried to get her up and running but it wasn’t working. She wasn’t peeing. I could smell it inside her body. That’s a bad sign. The family left. When they got back I ran to the living room. But there laid Rosie and she wouldn’t move. I was overwhelmed with concern and fear. I started nudging and pawing at her to get her moving. My family thought I was being too aggressive and tried to hold me back. But for once I wasn’t having it. I ignored them and even fought them to get to my lovely wife and friend. But no amount of pawing or nudging would move her. Everyone was upset, and I was crying.

My family started digging a hole. I helped a bit but this was all too crazy for me. After a couple of hours they put Rosie in it. Once again, I tried my best to get her out of this very dire situation. But they insisted. I was shivering and trembling and crying. But in my heart I knew. Rosie was gone. It was a depressing day. I try to keep the spirits up with my antics. I hope Rosie is finally in a painless place.

Pics

September in India and Elfland

September brought it’s share of excitement for me. Once the kids were in school, I took a two week trip to India. I had figured that it was a good time to take off while weather in State College was still ok.

Leaving State College without the girls turned out to be not the easiest thing. The idea of going so far away bore down on me as I drove in the middle of night to Washington DC to catch my flight. Putting my worries aside, I boarded the flight for an 18 hour trip to India via Doha (Qatar airways). Qatar airways was adequate with super short layovers, although this caused some stress on my way back since the flight from Hyderabad to Doha was delayed.

Sis, mom and dad picked me up at the Hyderabad airport. We went to mom’s place. Ganesh puja festival was going on in India. There were statues of Lord Ganesh everywhere. My parents’ apartment complex had one, with cultural events every evening.

My hope was to get some stuff organized for parents so that they would be more comfortable there. I must say I was happy with all the things I was able to do towards that goal in the two weeks. It was a packed schedule with shopping for clothes for mom (and some for the girls to take back with me), buying appliances, managing their paperwork and even getting them to buy tickets to visit us in April next year. I was very pleased with how things went.

Once home, I was thrilled to see all the progress made at home. Leena’s room was finished and painted, which is quite an achievement, since you could see insulation when I had left home. Johan finished insulating, and he and Wayne did drywalling and painting. Amazing. Johan and the girls had also worked hard at cleaning up stuff in various parts of the house and the end result was great! Tanya has an arm band now in kickboxing which means she is ahead of me in class! She seems quite pleased about that!

I have been moving along since back home, trying to get the house organized and my first children’s book going. It should see the light of day next year. Excited about my progress!

Kylo Ren the dog: Hmph! Despite the fact that I am very smart, no one ever asks for my opinion. Did mom ask if I was okay with her leaving and travelling off to some far off place? No! Luckily for Leena I didn’t starve. But let me tell you, my care was less than premium, and I could definitely feel the lowered standards. Once mom was back, I let her know exactly what I thought of her disappearance. A few bites did the trick. With mom, it’s easy. All I have to do is to place my cold and wet nose anywhere on her bare skin. She shrieks and I immediately get the pleasure of exacting my revenge.

Lately I have been getting in trouble for no reason whatsoever. My family says I am too pushy with my snout. But all I do is show love, when it is absolutely necessary. Like the times when Tanya leaves me for two whole minutes. When she comes back, I feel that it is my duty to tell her how much I missed her. But when I try, she gets all mad. Not fair. I bet other dogs aren’t left alone for such long periods of time. Ohh, here comes the Queen bee, Grandma Rosie!

Rosie the dog: What?!! Grandma?! Don’t you forget that you are my husband. That would make you grandpa. Hehe. Actually that makes sense. I am still sassier than you even at the ripe age of 15. Grandpa!

While I have been a happy go lucky 15 year old, lately my family has developed a strange and annoying habit. They like to pick me up in the air. They pick up my entire body and hold me. This is because I have lost a lot of weight, so now they treat me like a stuffed toy or something. But after being suspended in air for a couple of minutes, I remind them that I am no stuffed bunny. I bare my teeth most menacingly and snap and bark viciously. They get alarmed and put me down. I like being down. In fact my favorite position these days is to be as far down as possible, sleeping 22 hours a day outside in the sun. The last two hours are spent eating and barking at random people to incite Kylo into barking.

Oreo the chicken: Hello Rosie. May I have the keyboard? Oh! She is asleep. My turn! Hello, dear readers. I am here to make my debut into the world of blogging. The older hens have been bragging about the wonderful blogs they have written, and the wonderful places that they have visited. Paisley and I turn green with envy, but thankfully, since a lot of our feathers are black in color, the envious green stays hidden. It won’t do to show envy. Our pecking order stats can take a hit!

Let me tell you the story of Paisley and I. We were born and raised in the Bald Eagle area. We are one year old. Although we lived out in the boonies and can be considered to have had an idyllic childhood, reality is far from imagination. We lived with a few other chickens and a couple of nasty roosters. Every day was war. As a result, we have some trust issues. Our owner got some new peeps. One day we heard her talking with her husband that they want to downsize our brood. The hubby looked appetized and we smelt danger! One fine day our owner caught Paisley and me and put us in a dog crate. “This is it”, I thought. We are soup! But life had other plans for us. Soon people came by and took us in plastic containers to a new backyard that had three other chickens. These people named us Paisley and Oreo and wisely kept us separated from those scary older birds. They would try to socialize us by getting us together in the yard. The older hens made several planned attacks on us. However, they were foiled by the humans who sprayed them with a water gun! I am happy to say that I am now well assimilated into the group and am also getting warm and comfortable with the humans. Paisley is a whole different story!

Paisley the chicken: I yell! Yes, that’s my specialty. I let out such a shriek that humans get temporarily disoriented and confused. While they are figuring out what just happened, I use all my evasive and maneuvering skills to get away from the humans.

That said, I do get close to the humans. I am curious about them, but like to play it safe. I am slim and beautiful. I have been told that I have beautiful eyes (ahem). However, my slender build has placed me lowest in the pecking order. Sigh! If not for Oreo, I don’t know if I would ever get any food. Oreo is big. She almost looks like a turkey. Oh I am so glad she is my friend and protector!

Visiting Philadelphia, the city of brotherly love

The fast approaching school year prompted me into action. The girls and I made a plan to go for a three day visit to Philadelphia. Leaving the animals under Johan’s care, we set off last Monday.

Our plan was to take a train from Lewistown, PA to Philadelphia. We would then take the transit to our hotel and spend the next 2 days sightseeing and taking in the place. I am happy to report that it was a super successful trip. We saw a lot of things and enjoyed ourselves thoroughly.

Johan and Kylo Ren the dog dropped us off at the Lewistown train station. Kylo ignored us as they drove off. We thought he may either be upset with us for leaving him, or afraid that we would pull him out of the precious car! Kylo is very sensitive about being left behind.

The train was late, but that was fine with us. I had a gut feeling that we would luck out on this trip. This is because we had had to postpone the trip last week due to weather. After the bad luck, I felt that we were due for some good luck. Guess what?! I was right!

The journey was uneventful. We mostly looked out of the windows, read or stared at our phones! We did visit the food car and ate some crappy train food. It was exciting!

Finally we rolled into the Market st station. We headed to the subway station. Instantly I felt clueless about how to figure out the map, payment and layout of the station. Luckily a good Samaritan came to our rescue. She directed us a bit and sent us to the information booth.

Subway payments were surprisingly easy. You can tap your credit card to pay and walk through the entry points. We quickly got ourselves oriented with the map and took our first ride! We were at the Independence hall in no time. Our GPS helped us locate our hotel in the Independence hall. We had booked Wyndham in the historic district.

Quick review: Wyndham was an adequate hotel that served our purpose of crashing and staring at the television after a tiring day. Breakfast was not free. There was a pool. We had intended to visit the pool but never found the time or energy. Breakfast costs quite a bit, so the next time I would definitely choose a hotel that includes free breakfasts. House keeping was minimal. We loved the central location. It was one of very few reasonably priced hotels.

After checking in and showers, we left quickly. We went to the City hall via Subway again. We were scheduled to take the Philly by night bus tour that evening at 8 pm. We decided to eat at a nearby South Indian restaurant named Amma’s.

Quick Review: Amma’s was a very authentic South Indian restaurant. We loved it. The chutneys were ok, but the rava dosa and sambhar were really good. Vada was ok. Give chicken 65 a miss! Mango lassi was ok. Priced high, Philly style!

After dinner, we walked to City hall. What a delightful surprise! The Philadelphia city hall is a stunning place. On one side is Dilworth park. You MUST visit Dilworth park. It is the pulse of the city. There are fountains for kids (and adults) to run in. There is a ping pong table. There’s seating area and a restaurant. You should also check the events calendar. We lucked out and got to listen to a live jazz performance. As I said, luck was on our side.

Once you enter the archway into the City hall courtyard, the expansive courtyard and surrounding towers were a total delight. We were impressed. There were also street music performers. Such a pleasant place.

We slowly made our way to the Philly by night tour. It is a 1.5 hr double decker bus tour. We loved it! We had heard complaints about the speed of the bus (it goes so fast that you can’t see anything) and the sound quality of the presenter’s equipment. It does go fast, because they try to cover a lot. But you don’t have to see everything in 1.5 hours! You can enjoy the vibes of the city and listen to a super impressive narration by the presenter who talks about the history of the buildings rushing by. This is no ordinary performance and I was floored by the depth of the lady’s knowledge and energy. I would recommend this, especially because it is a good way to rest tired feet and see something at the same time.

The tour ended at 9:30 pm. We took our Subway back and retired for the night.

We woke up bright and early on Tuesday the 14th. After showers we left to find a restaurant within walking distance. The historic district is a hub of shopping and food, so we had no problem finding a nice restaurant with outdoor seating. As we ate, we planned our day.

We started walking toward Elfreth Alley, which has very old houses cramped in a small alley. Nice, old feel. Before we reached the alley, we ended up at Penn’s landing. We decided to walk up to the Delaware river via the bridge and take a look. It was a nice walk. However, Penn’s landing area is under construction. There wasn’t much to see. Don’t bother visiting the area for any purpose other than a walk over the bridge.

Next we went to Elfreth Alley. It was a cute alley. Touristy and fun. We spent a bit of time walking back and forth and checking it out. It doesn’t take more than 15 minutes. You could try it. It’s close to the subway station.

We next took the subway (blue line followed by orange line) to get to the magic gardens. Magic gardens was created by artist Isaiah Zeger from about 1994 – 2008. It is a delightful mix of tiles, bottles and odds and ends to create an artistic maze that you can walk through. It is very beautiful, but small and a bit expensive for the size of the property. If you haven’t seen the East Jesus art gallery in Slab City, CA, the magic gardens will likely not disappoint. East Jesus art gallery is better though, by many magnitudes.

On our way back, we saw this terrarium shop close to the magic gardens. It was breathtaking and inspired Tanya and Leena to make their own terrariums. That was a big positive of our visit to that part of the town.

On our way back we took the orange line followed by the green trolley to have lunch at Cafe Almaz. This is an Ethiopian restaurant in Philadelphia. The food was good. I have had better Ethiopian food in DC, but this was pretty good too.

We were very interested in trying out the buses which formed a better network than the subway. Using google maps, we could easily find the correct bus routes, stops and time of arrival of the next bus. We took the bus back to the hotel.

After a brief stop at the hotel, we walked down to the museum of illusions which happened to be a block away from our hotel(!). Our hotel location was a big boon.

The museum of illusions was an unbelievable delight. We were taken by all the optical illusions and puzzles they had. If you like optical illusions and puzzles, do not miss it. The museum is small, so two hours is the maximum time you will spend on it. That is, unless you are crazy enough to try to crack their puzzles. In that case, expect to spend the day! We were very tired by 6:30 pm when we finally left the museum. We got some comfort food at a convenience store and retired in the hotel for the night.

It was hard to get ourselves moving on August 15th. We left by around 9 am and caught our blue line to the City hall. From there we went to the Reading Terminal market. Reading terminal market has lots of yummy food in many different types of cuisines. Most people love it. We found it overwhelmingly large. We decided to eat multiple small breakfasts so that we could visit more than one store. We first ate a Southern omlette followed by crepes at a french joint. Both were delicious. After that I was ready to leave the place. On our way out, we chanced upon a Moroccan shop. We went inside to see if there was anything interesting. The shop keeper must have been an excellent salesman because he sold us a bunch of intriguing boxes! Seriously, you have got to go to this Moroccan store in Reading Terminal Market and buy one of his intriguing mystery boxes. We bought 5! Highly recommended. I would also recommend visiting Reading Terminal market for one or two of your meals.

Once out, we had some time before our planned visit to an art museum named Wonderspaces. We went back to the City hall. Leena played in the fountains and Tanya and I tried our hand at ping pong. It was very fun. I googled Dilworth park and found out that there was to be free live jazz music that evening at 6. I couldn’t believe it, because I had hoped to hear some live jazz in Philadelphia. Did I mention that this was a lucky trip?!

We went to see Wonderspaces. This was a beautiful and inspiring art space in a mall close to the Reading terminal market. I would recommend it. You would spend 1.5 hours maximum here.

From there we museum hopped to the museum of natural history. We were a bit leery of visiting overly large museums because they are so tiring and time consuming. So we stuck to museums that fell specifically in our interests and that took about 2 hours. That is why we stayed far away from the museum of art (even though we were curious). Museum of natural history is a beautiful place. Highly recommended. It took us two hours and that was about the energy we had. We learnt about taxidermy and also found lots of information on Tiktaalik, a 375 million year old fossil fish. Tiktaalik is special to Tanya since she and her friend researched it in high school and made a presentation on it. They shared the presentation with Dr. Neil Shubin, who first discovered the fossil. They were gratified to receive an enthusiastic response from Dr. Shubin. Ever since, Tanya has been in love with Tiktaalik!

After the museum, we took the bus back to the hotel. We had a couple of hours to rest before heading back to the City hall to listen to live jazz and play in the water fountains. Another interesting thing we saw: There were thousands of people well dressed in white standing in long lines. We were curious, so we asked what they were doing. They were there for Diner en blanc being held at a nearby park called Love park. You dress up in chic white clothes and bring your own food, sit and socialize. I believe they were expecting 5000 attendees!!

We left City Park around 7:30 pm. Taking our usual Subway, we were back at the hotel where we proceeded to spend the next three hours watching TV, drinking and resting.

Friday Aug 16th: We were worn out and ready to go home this morning! We dragged ourselves out of bed and went out for breakfast. We visited the same breakfast place that we had visited two days ago. But our luck had apparently finally run out. We sat outside as before. But it was super hot. Next to the restaurant was a dog shelter with dogs on display at the window. It turned out to be a real torture to watch the dogs waiting to be adopted. We left as soon as we could and felt sad and devoid of energy. We were done with our trip.

Back at the hotel, we rested some more. The plan was to check out and see if we could catch a glimpse of the liberty bell. However, there was a super long line to view the bell. Since we are not into history, we didn’t feel it was worth our time to see the bell. We were also running late for our train. We caught the subway and went back to the Amtrak station. The train ride back was uneventful but extremely relaxing. Johan was there to pick us up and we had a joyful reunion with the dogs as well. One of our Moroccan boxes was for Johan. He had a good time trying to figure it out!

Although I have visited Philadelphia in the past, we attempted and managed to a degree to catch the pulse of the city. We had some sweet interactions with the locals and felt some of that brotherly love! We had a great time and hope to visit again some day.

My Artsy Adventure – by Crazy Cookie, the chicken

T'was a fine summer day
We the chickens were hard at play
Enjoying yummy yardy delights
After the morning's egg lay.

With two new chicken arrivals in our yard
Us three old birds had to work hard
To re-establish the pecking order
And introduce the newbies to the old guard.

All was good and dandy with us girls
But dark events were about to unfurl
Had we known about them in advance
They would have made our toes curl.

Then it happened! Entered the human
She harnessed me, always a bad omen!
Nestling me snug in her arms,
She walked through town to meet a new woman.

Now, I am not one to shy away from adventure
I may even vouch for it, as a curiosity quencher
But even the blase ol' me
Had grave misgivings about this unusual venture.

It turned out, my worries were futile
The new woman was sweet, not vile
She fed me some watermelon
And cuddled me for quite a while.

Once calmed, I was released from her hold
As I walked away, lo and behold!
I saw beautiful artwork right at my feet
A painting of us chickens, both young and old!

I could scarcely believe my eyes
A talented artist (who was obviously wise)
Had painted my flock right on the street
I swear it's the truth, not tall tales or lies!

As I enjoyed my new celebrity status
Staring at the art, I remembered the cactus!
We had seen this place during our trip to the west
I reminisced, as my human repacked me in the dreaded harness apparatus.

Our walk back home was also memorable
Saying hello to as many humans as I was able
They gaped, gawked and clicked my pictures
To immortalize my stardom and fable.

Back home I received a heroine's welcome
With many congratulations (although jealous Daisy kept mum)
Now officially atop the pecking order
I am back to laying eggs, and the usual humdrum.

--Crazy Cookie the chicken

For Tanya, with love

Tanya, our 17 year old, is graduating from high school. She has some interesting plans up her sleeve. She plans to take a gap year before joining Penn State’s college of science to study genetics. A part of her gap year will be spent on pursuing a course in solar tech from CPI, a local technical school. Seeing her hopeful excitement for the future totally thrills me. I love her chosen interesting fields of study.

The past few weeks were a roller coaster for her, and by extension, for me too. Transitioning from high school into a semi-adult life is hard. As a parent, it feels like the safety net of school is pulled off us, and she is freewheeling. Of course, this is not true, but school is such a big part of childhood that it’s ending is unnerving. Added to that, I had this feeling that in today’s society, Tanya’s achievements were overlooked. Of course, that upset me. But then I had a few realizations. The first being, hey, I haven’t celebrated her achievements myself. To address that, I have dedicated this post to her. Long post alert!

Tanya came to this world at 2 lbs. She was born at 29 weeks as a micro preemie on Aug 19, 2006. Then began one of the most trying fifty days of my life. Tanya was in an incubator at a Neonatal Intensive Care Unit for fifty days. And the hospital was two hours away from here! After fours days, I was discharged. As we drove off the hospital back home, I remember the feeling of dread. What?! Tanya is left behind(?!). I had just had a Caesarean and was recovering from very high blood pressure. So driving was out of the question. After a couple of days home, where I roamed around like an aimless ghost, my friend Amalie came to visit. She asked me, “so aren’t you missing Tanya?!”. I burst into tears. She was moved. After that my friends organized car rides for me to go to the hospital. I will be forever grateful to her, Caryl, Katie and Hannah for taking me there everyday for the next week. In less than two weeks after my Caesarean, I was driving to Geisinger every other day. We came up with a system. Johan left our red van with a bed in it in the parking lot of the hospital. I would drive there one day, see Tanya, sleep in the van, wake up the next day, see her again, and come home. In retrospect, I am not even sure why I came home at all. My parents had arrived from India, maybe that was a reason. Anyway, with that arrangement, I was able to see Tanya everyday and hold her against my skin. After fifty days, we got her home!

For the first four months my parents took care of Tanya. I was busy with my PhD thesis writing. They finally left a couple of days before my defense! Their visa had ended. I remember putting together my presentation with Tanya breastfeeding! It was quite an experience.

After my PhD, we had a setback. Johan’s father passed away. We went for his funeral in the Netherlands when Tanya was about seven months old. When Tanya turned one, I took up a job at a local Mechanical Engineering firm. However, I hated the breast pumping and general separation. I quit after fifteen days.

Tanya was always an easy child. I didn’t realize it then, but looking back I remember. We went for many road trips. Tanya just fit in, and it felt like three people on a trip rather than two adults and a baby. She easily adapted to all our idiosyncrasies. I worked only for one year outside of home (two hours away at Bucknell University). Once again, I hated it and didn’t take up another job until she was six.

We got our dog when Tanya turned three. Things hummed along, Leena came when Tanya was five and a half. Our family felt complete. We went through health challenges with both our premature girls, but thankfully nothing that was insurmountable.

Tanya was a quiet child and we ended up sending her (and later Leena) to a small charter school rather than the huge regular elementary school. The charter school had weekly field trips and wise ways of handling situations. We loved the small environment and felt that it would do her good. I have never regretted that decision.

Tanya was an excellent walker from the time that she was little. This may have been because we got Rosie dog when she was three. The long hikes on field trips were right up her alley. Even though her school was small with limited choices in friends, Tanya made a few strong friendships that have lasted her until now.

We always went on road trips, and took trips to the Netherlands and India. We were forever pulling our kids out of school. The alternative school was supportive, and even excited for us. But in 2019 we took the plunge and went for a five month long trip living in a bus and boondocking out west. Amazingly her school supported us and sent us study materials and read her blogs out during school lunches.

After this trip, Tanya moved on to Delta middle and subsequently Delta high school. This is another small, alternative school in our school district. She took classes both at the regular high school and at Delta.

As an immigrant who grew up in very high academic school standards, her school system baffled and frustrated me to the point that I wanted to pull Tanya out of school and homeschool her. Tanya may have realized that I would make good on my threat. Maybe to appease me or maybe out of her own motivation, Tanya started taking challenging courses at high school. We would sit down and carefully decide on her coursework each year. I battled with her school and have yelled at the administrators and her principal. You can say that I am not popular at her school(!). Oh well!

As she went on to high school, I noted that she would want to finish her work in advance. She did not wait until the last day. This was great to watch, since I have always been a procrastinator. It was lovely for me to see her working with diligence even on subjects that she didn’t care about.

Another thing about our immigrant, engineering household: like most immigrants and also most parents, we wanted our girls to appreciate and take up our field of study, which is engineering. I remember lecturing them many times and also getting upset when our girls did not show interest in mechanical engineering. But as years went by, I felt compelled to support them in fields of their choice. I now strongly feel that people in general, but women in particular, must carefully find a field they love and pursue only that, away from parental pressure. I say women in particular, because when they have kids and there will be motivation to quit work for the sake of children and family, a woman who loves her field has a better chance of feeling motivated to stick to her career.

Luckily, after many years of not knowing what she wanted to do with her life, Tanya suddenly changed. She took a keen interest in genetics after her biology class. Wisely she also took an elective in genetics this year to see if she still liked it. It turns out that she still likes it. So she plans to keep biology as her major and research in genetics.

In terms of academic achievements, Tanya excelled in her subjects ending up with a GPA of 3.87 unweighted and 4.19 weighted. In terms of extra curricular, she has done community volunteering at the arts fest that we have every year and community gardens over the summer. But one of her crowning achievements has been taking care of her dog Kylo. He is a rescue and a difficult German Shepherd. He can be aggressive to strangers. Since fourteen, Tanya has taken care of Kylo, including majority of his walks and behavior training with him. This is no mean achievement at all.

Tanya has a super temperate personality. She laughs and brushes annoying things off of her. Nothing seems to ruffle her. She always has a smile. She is very level headed. She is a stunning artist. In fact, she has excelled in every art form that she has tried, starting from hand sewing stuffies since she was eight, to painting in various mediums, clay modeling, resin art and animation. She recently made a lovely 3d printed candy dispenser after modeling it in Solidworks (an engineering design software).

Another realization that I had recently was how she was loved by her closest friends. A poem written by her friend, and a yearbook entry by her closest friend since elementary school made me realize that accolades come in many forms. While those grandly bestowed upon you by an institute are prized and sought after, they pale in comparison with a few beautiful words spoken by a good friend. A friend’s words bring out your true value as a person who has touched people around them. Her friends’ words truly touched me.

From being an impatient and immature mother, I have grown with Tanya to become a more calm and controlled person. My kids have been my teachers. Now Tanya is my friend and one that I share a lot of laughs with.

I am excited to see what the future holds for her. But what’s even more important is the current moment. She is happy, and that makes me happy. Life’s good.

Escape escapades

Crazy cookie the chicken: Lately we chickens have been the most adventurous of the whole lot of creatures at Elf land. So I get to start the blog of the day.

Our humans have a double fence system to keep us chickens inside the property. There is an inside fence with a gate. This is followed by an outside fence with a second gate. One would think this is enough barricade to keep four squawking hens from leaving their land. Well, one would think wrong! Allow me to elaborate with a most exciting story.

One fine day, Lazy Laurie was pecking around near the fence, when she suddenly saw something from the corner of her eye. On the other side of the fence, from the depths of the neighbor’s yard, emerged two juiciest and yummiest looking worms! Lazy Laurie’s eyes popped right out! She sent me on a mission. I was to watch the neighbor’s yard for the next couple of days and report my findings regarding the viability of the neighbor’s yard for free ranging.

After just one day of observation, I was able to give most favorable reports of the neighbor’s yard to Lazy Laurie and my other sisters. Not only is the neighboring yard full of juicy worms, it also has unpecked, untouched flowers, grass blades, flies, you name it. It’s a haven, right in front of our eyes, lying wasted, waiting for our attention. But how would we get there?

“No problemo”, said Lazy Laurie with supreme self confidence. “A fence is simply an opportunity to try one’s jumping or digging skills”, she added. Lazy Laurie rocks. After carefully evaluating the inside fence, Lazy Laurie found a weakness in the design. There is a bench for the humans to sit on right by the fence. Under our admiring eyes, Lazy Laurie jumped on to the bench. She then proceeded to use the said bench as a launch pad to become airborne and land neatly in between the two fences. The rest of us quickly followed.

Once there, Lazy Laurie scouted the second fence, until she found a small hole in it. “Ahha”, said she. And in a thrice, we were out of the second fence and into the neighbor’s yard. Yumminess awaited us. We spent a blissful hour checking out the delicacies offered by the neighbors. We pulled worms, plucked flowers, caught flies and ran in the yard. It was so fun!

Lazy Laurie the chicken: Crazy Cookie is an optimist. She covered our escape. Let me bring the story back to earth and tell you what happened next. A bunch of youngsters from the neighbor’s house saw us! Luckily for us, and unluckily for them, they aren’t trained to catch us. We used our usual evasion tactics with great success with them. We darted about in all directions, while they tried to catch us. The young neighbors seem to love us. This isn’t surprising, humans usually love us in all forms. Alive, dead, on a stake, on grill, you name it! Since we preferred the option 1 (of staying alive) we weren’t about to let them catch us.

Things were going well for us. But then, this cute human rooster came by. He tried to catch us. My resolve weakened, and I froze for a second. He grabbed me (it’s spring time, we are broody, what can I say). I was proud (although a bit worried) to be the one to be grabbed! Luckily my human mom came by just then, and we were all taken back to our home and put in the safety of our coop. It was an exciting day. I penned a little poem in the memory of this adventure.

We the chickens loved the neighbor’s yard

We ate plenty of goodies, soft and hard

Until I was caught by the human rooster

Which was sad, but ooh! Such a confidence booster!

— Lazy Laurie

Kylo Ren the dog: I escaped too! The other day someone rang the doorbell. My mom was forgetful and she opened the door without locking me away. I ran to meet the stranger. I was going to get in my lean, mean mode. However, the visitor turned out to be a girl that looked like my Tanya. I got mellow at once and was wagging my tail and my entire butt around like a bumbling fool. But then I looked at the road. The sweet girl had come with a boy! He was waiting for her in the car. I was back to my mean self (in case you don’t know this, I don’t like boys). I growled and barked. Tanya held me by my collar but I strained to get away. Unluckily the visitors left and I was dragged back into the house.

Last but not the least, it was my birthday last Thursday. I turned 4! My family sang the “happy birthday” song. Oh joy! I went completely crazy with excitement! Tanya solemnly told me that I was four now and was no longer a boy, but a man(!). Leena said that she was going to call me Mr. Kylo from now onwards since I was grown up! I play-bit at their jaws to correct their misconceptions. I don’t intend to grow up any time soon. Before you leave, please don’t forget to check out the pictures below of my parents. I think I look a lot like my dad. He looked naughty (heh heh). But I have my mom’s classic German Shepherd coloring. You can say that I got the best of both my parents’ looks. You wouldn’t be wrong!

Animal musings

Kylo Ren the dog; It’s a hot day. I hear it is only April, and we are above 80 degrees. If that was not bad enough, my Papa put me in this orange military vest before taking me to the junkyard. Now, although the vest makes me look even more handsome than normal, I was boiling. Of course, when I saw my junkyard girl friend, I played it cool. I pretended that I was very comfy and in my elements in the horrible vest. I think she bought it! I did have to take a dip in the creek after all my posing. The good thing is, my girl friend is crazy about me (I hope).

In other news from around these parts, I have been eating bumble bees. They are very poor sports, though. They sting when I grab them in my mouth. Yesterday was the worst. I made the big mistake of biting on a bumble bee in front of Tanya and Mom. Their solution? Tanya opened my mouth big to look inside. Mom took water and put it in my throat. To add insult to injury, they yelled at me all the time while doing this torturous routine. I almost drowned! I ran in and only came out much later when they were diverted. Then I ate some more bumble bees. Yum!

Rosie the dog: I am a miracle dog! You don’t believe it? Guess what?! After 2 months of not being able to get up on my hind legs at all, and not even being able to drag myself around, I am suddenly up and walking! My human family is astounded! Now, I do fall over. But I am able to lift my backside now. Soon you will hear about me running around in the yard, looking for my sweet chicken friend Daisy.

My days are mostly spent sleeping. However, now that spring is here, I have graduated from sleeping outside the front steps to laying in the grass.

Yesterday was very hot. I was missing hanging out in the pond. So I tried to drag myself over the high dikes into the water. That was too much of a challenge. But before you think that I didn’t get what I wanted, think again! As I mentioned, I am a miracle dog. Instead of me going over to the pond, the pond came flying over to me. Leena took water from the pond and poured it all over me. Ah, heaven. I spent the rest of the evening rolling about in the grass and sniffing it out.

Baby the chicken: Kylo Ren has gone crazy (yet again). He went after me the other day! Luckily Tanya was there, otherwise I could have become a chicken kabob hanging from his fangy teeth. I think we chickens will have to come up with a plan to set him right. He is getting way too big for his paws.

Something interesting happened the other day. We sisters were hanging out in the yard as usual. I did my late morning head count to make sure none of the chickens were missing. Guess what?! I counted 5 instead of our usual 4. I thought the sun was making me see double. But then, when I looked more carefully, one of the “chickens” was actually a “she duck”! Actually female ducks are called hens. So I wasn’t that far off in my initial count. But, of course, the duck was nothing like us. For one, she could actually fly (sigh!). She also looked completely different from us (although equally cute, ahem). We had a gala time exchanging notes about our lives. Duck told us that she usually flies around with two male ducks (called drakes – see how well informed I am?) prior to egg laying season. “Why two?”, I asked. She told us that once they find a pond that she likes, the trio lands. Then while she grooms herself and checks out her new home, the drakes have a fight to decide who will be her mate for the upcoming egg season. All she has to do is to paint her nails (with the pond water) and wait for the outcome of the fight. Finally, the losing drake flies off in shame while the winning drake and hen set up their new home for the season.

We chickens were extremely jealous and indignant when we heard this. We have zero roosters here. We have to contend ourselves by pretending that the humans are roosters. One good thing in our favor, the humans feed and care for us, while the ducks do not get that kind of treatment (smug look on Baby’s face).

Anyway, once we were done with our social visit, the hen duck took a splash in a discarded little green kid’s pool in the backyard. Once she was done splashing, she proceeded to play around in the pond before flying off. How nice to have a social visit from a hen, instead of the usual riff raffs that visit, such as bunnies, moles, mice, squirrels or chipmunks. We hope to see more of our new hen friend. Who knows, maybe one of us can take the losing drake as a boyfriend! Ooh, opportunity knocks!

Driving through March

March started off with the spring break. We spent three nights at the camp. This was a first. We cooked, read and hung out at the camp. It was a haven for the dogs. The kids and Kylo were gone for long stretches of time. The weather was rainy and wet, but that didn’t stop anyone from having a good time.

March was also unusual in a different way. We are not a movie going family. We watch movies at home. But we did see two movies this March. These were Kung Fu Panda 4 and Dune 2. Both were awesome and made for nice times.

Other than that it has been a lot of driving for us. Tanya is determined to get her driver’s license next month. We have been pushing to go driving every evening, and also mornings on weekends. That means we spend a lot of time in the car aimlessly driving around. She is making good progress.

As we get into spring, projects are beckoning. These include a much needed renovation of our kitchen countertop, insulation of Leena’s room and Tanya’s bus-mog camper project. The bus-mog is a vehicle that Johan has put together. It has a Unimog front and a school body, welded together. The bus-mog is being made into a camper. Tanya spent time insulating it to get the project further.

March ended with Easter, organized by EB Hopster the bunny. We had our usual chocolate and treat style fun.

Kylo Ren the dog: Let me tell you the most exciting thing that happened to me this month. In case you don’t know this about me yet, I am the official duck chaser of our household. Random Pennsylvania duck couples come to lay eggs by our backyard pond. Now, this might sound cute to you, but the ducks are no picnic. They tear up the carefully planted water plants and eat the goldfish in the pond. Plus they poop all over the place. So whenever the duck couple lands, my job is to go running to the pond in a tearing rage and frighten the bejesus out of them. It’s a lot of fun!

So the other day, I was out in the yard on my duck chasing duty with Leena. The ducks quickly flew away, leaving the hunter instinct in me dissatisfied. I wanted more! And so I looked around. And there was Lazy Laurie, the chicken, giving me her usual disdainful look. Lazy Laurie is brown, but that look made me see red! So I went after her in a tearing rage. I had her in my mouth and was going to do her in once and for all. Now, I always look at Leena as if she is a tiny, swattable insect, but she earned my respect that day. She yelled and ran in my direction, and just as I was about to take a bite out of Lazy Laurie, she put her fingers in my mouth and pulled so hard that I couldn’t shut my mouth! While I was trying to get my mouth free, Lazy Laurie ran in the coop. I went after her, but Baby the chicken puffed up and went at me. At that moment, feeling outnumbered, the fight went out of me. I went back to the house, only to be scolded big time by mom and locked up in the crate. What a sorry end to my adventure.

Lazy Laurie the chicken: Well folks, I happen to be the chicken of the month. I would have used the phrase, “the flavor of the season”, but “flavor” sounds a bit risky. As mentioned above by the monster Kylo Ren, he tried to kill me. My dearest human mom Leena saved my life. While I am number one on the pecking order, Leena certainly tops me in rank and status. Once Kylo Ren was overpowered and confined, Leena came back to find me. I was in a state of shock. My mouth was lolling about and my eyes were glassed over. She got worried and so she took me inside the house. There I got royally pampered right in front of Kylo Ren’s nose. I was first hugged and sang to by mom. When that didn’t do the trick, they got me some cream and butter to eat. Seeing fresh cream got me back to my senses. I greedily ate some. My humans were so happy that they gave me multiple helpings of cream, followed by bird feed. I am happy to report that at the end of my feeding, I was back to feeling normal, and was able to join my sisters in the yard once again.

I was once again the star of the show when the humans had a bit of a nasty surprise in the form of some spring bugs emerging from their basement into their living room. Their usual course of action would be vacuuming followed by bleach cleaning. However, after years of living with us, they have gotten sufficiently trained to consider me as their first line of defense. So they brought me in.

You may not know this about me, but along with being chicken number one on the pecking order, I possess some additional qualities that set me apart. They include my fastidious attention to detail, my pro active nature and inclination to take initiative. Corporate America could learn a whole lot from me. Using the above-mentioned traits, I went about my pest control job with diligence. Carefully and painstakingly, I picked up and ate every last bug that had dared to invade my human family’s coop. My humans were most impressed. Imagine being impressed by my ability to eat (hehe). Humans are easy to impress. I am happy to report, that following my pest control and their clean up, the human home is now bug free.

EB Hopster the bunny: Hello there. Before calling it a day, a word from me. I am, after all, the animal of the month. No easter month can be complete without a blog from me.

To the uninitiated, I am EB Hopster. EB stands for, you guessed it, Easter Bunny. I go all over America and Europe leaving chocolate eggs and various treats for kids on Easter day. If you have been especially good, I leave a note for you to read. You can find one such note in the pictures below. This year, at Elf land, I was helped by my Elf assistant Tanya, who explained the layout of the land to me, so that I could leave treats in appropriate locations. I made sure that Easter at Elf Land was a success. Thanks for the applause. Time for me to destroy some tulips.