kylo Ren the dog: Turkey!!

Mom (that’s me): Hey Kylo. Do you want to hear my version of the princess and the frog story?

Kylo Ren: Yawn. Ok, shoot.

Mom: The Young princess meets the frog, kissed the frog. The frog turns into a prince while the princess turns into a she frog! Hahahaha!!

Kylo Ren: Ok?! But then, if it’s that bad, why did you marry? (Disclaimer, I love my Papa!).

Mom: (Stops laughing ). Hmm, for companionship?!

Kylo Ren: (Licking his paws) Ok yes. But you and I are companions. You don’t need to marry for that! You could be friends and live in your own homes. You would stay a princess.

Mom: Hmm. Umm, for having children? It’s a very noble thing, you know, having kids.

Kylo Ren: (Scratching his ears) Keeping aside the fact that I love the kids for a second, mom!! Having kids, noble? Have you seen the world’s human population numbers? They are through the roof. All other animals are getting pushed around. Forests cut, pollution! Plus, it makes you even more of a she frog. All that work. Besides, you don’t need to marry or live together to have kids. Look at my junkyard girlfriend and me!

Mom: Now wait a minute. Kylo, that’s not how it goes. We humans have some standards. We don’t just randomly have kids with strangers. That would make us no better than regular animals!

Kylo Ren: Excuse me? No better than regular animals? Hey, I am a “regular” (alpha) animal. And with all due respect, mommy, we aren’t the ones destroying the planet, killing people and animals enmass, changing climate, introducing micro plastics in the rain, GMO in rain, mega toxins in the soil in France that makes backyard chicken eggs unhealthy… Should I go on?!

Mom: (Subdued) Why… Um.. how do you know all this?

Kylo Ren: I read the news, you know. I steal the newspaper from the chickens when they are distracted from the news trying to peck each other to death.

Mom: (Musing) Hmm, why did I marry?! (Getting depressed, looking downcast).

Kylo Ren: (Patting mom on head). Let’s retract to the most intelligent comment of this conversation. Turkey!!!