You have heard this phrase used in the context of raising kids. The other day I saw an article from a young mother who was lamenting that there is no such village. It saddened me and hence this blog.

So what is this village we are talking about? The mom, of course. The dad would be the next. The siblings, extended family, schools and daycares, neighborhoods, our work places, the larger world and the government, in the stated order, form the village. Of course, the kids that have no moms are the worst off. Let’s start by assuming that there is a caring mom. If she is an only parent, its a hostile world out there. Let’s also include a caring dad. This makes for a more stable and secure home. Oftentimes, the mom does a majority of child care, along with her job and household duties. This is a lot more than what a human can handle. However, even with a caring dad who shares the household burden, the society fails our kids.

Siblings are not expected to help with child care. To some extent that is valid. A child must not have to forego their childhood and babysit their sibling. But, on the other hand, by helping parents out with some childcare, not only can siblings unburden their burnt out parents, they also make a positive contribution to the attitude of the younger sibling. The younger one is always watching and emulating the older child, and helping with the young one creates a positive, happy environment for the family. Moreover, the older child gains maturity and learns responsibility. Again, as long as the older one is not overly burdened, this can be a win win for all parties.

Getting to the extended family, assuming they live close by. Yes, everyone should pitch in to create a happy and positive environment for the child. No one should be burdened with routine childcare, but family should be open to occasional babysitting. Actually babysitting is not the right word. It has a negative connotation. The right word would be socializing with a younger one so that the little one becomes part of the extended family.

Daycares and schools take a major part of a child’s day. They definitely form a most important part of the village. Parents often consider a day care and school as a place to park their kids while they can get stuff done. Teachers often don’t feel appreciated or compensated enough to think about the overall implication of having kids under their responsibility. Kids are with them for many hours with them. A teacher can shape the future of the world not only by imparting knowledge, but also by ensuring general happiness and wellbeing of the children under their care. I have read articles about how kids are falling back in their education goals due to the pandemic or for whatever reason. Teachers say that parents should ensure that they study. Of course, that’s true. But parents are already overburdened.

Getting to the neighborhood aspect, there’s a hostile world out there. You can often not ask your neighbors to watch your kid for a little bit. If you left them for a short time, or did something that looks less than perfect, suddenly you can have a “good” Samaritan call child services on you and face a barrage of questions that leave you defending all your decision making for the child. If you go to a restaurant with a baby who starts crying, hostile looks are thrown your way. People will say, stay home with your baby. We are entitled to a peaceful dinner. Yes, you are, but so is the new mom. Breastfeeding in public is looked down upon. Go feed your baby in the bathroom! How, may I ask? By sitting on a toilet and trying to work the baby on the breast in a cramped, dirty stall? How gross and mean. Try eating your food in the restaurant’s toilet.

Work places have no sympathy for a parent. There’s hardly any maternity leave. Lots of insurances don’t cover pregnancies. Many work places don’t want to hire a pregnant lady. Most people get annoyed with parents if their kids fall sick. Coworkers can’t do one extra job to help out a parent of a sick child. They resent a mom or dad taking off for urgent reasons, or to go home on time. What’s a parent to do?

Getting to the larger world, there is often controversy with people complaining about a crying baby on the airplane, public place, next to you, wherever. Do you expect a baby to magically disappear or stop making noises? If there was a disabled or a special needs person making some noise, you would try to accommodate them. A child or a baby is just someone with different or special needs. Why not accommodate them rather than loudly and angrily stating your entitlement to peace because you paid for the service? The mom did too!

Getting to the Government, where to start? They have made it a most hostile environment for parents. The economy that heavily favors the corporations, executives and worships the rich makes no room or allowance for parents. Both parents must work for the family to stay afloat. There’s no provisions for adequate maternity leave. Daycare costs are through the roof and almost unaffordable. Insurance is tied through your jobs for some unlogical reason so if you don’t work, you don’t have insurance and get covered for whatever miniscule amount you will get covered for. There is absolutely no effort made on the part of the government to help out parents.

So you may ask, why should I care? I didn’t choose to have kids. I don’t have kids who will help me out in my old age. These arguments are short sighted and rubbish. For one, there is no guarantee that kids will take care of their parents in old age. Talk to the elderly, many are lonely with rare visits from their children. And of course, you must care. These children are the future. Their wellbeing today will ensure that they are productive and happy members of the society tomorrow. A well adjusted, happy, cared for child is a productive member of the society and will contribute toward your social security. An ignored, unhappy child will be a member who at best won’t care about the society that failed them. At worst, they may have psychological issues or be withdrawn from society and have potential to cause harm.

The effort that parents make to birth and nurture a child to adulthood must be commended and supported. They should be not left feeling alone and isolated without any help and resources. This is essential for our society’s future.

The village is absolutely necessary and every child deserves it.

Oh, my animals are not going to let me type anymore so over to them.

Rosie the dog: Huh? What’s this village we are talking about? I once went to a village far out in…. Hmm, I forget. Anyway, moving on. Tanya and Leena can’t complain about the absence of support growing up. Ok, maybe Tanya can, since I was insanely jealous of her from the beginning. And then when she adopted Kylo I never looked at her again (hmph). But Leena! I have carefully brought her up to be a most productive member of the society. All my efforts at raising this little one paid off. She makes the most excellent dinners for us. So yeah. I have done my part. Ok, time for a nap. My husband would like to contribute anyway, so I will hand it over to him.

Kylo Ren the dog: Village, you say? When I hear the word village, I think of homesteads, chickens, pigs. Hey! That sounds like our home (minus the pig). So yes. I am very much a part of our village here. I am the littlest one here so they brought me up. But I grew fast and have been a nurturing member of this society here ever since. I am the great protector, caregiver, teacher (they learn by training me) and their doctor (they say laughter is the best medicine and I dole out that medicine by the pound!). So yes. I am taking good care of this village of ours. Oh, here comes Crazy Cookie. My word, she is behaving crazier than usual. Over to her!

Crazy Cookie the chicken: Thanks Kylo (See, I can be civil to him!)! Yes, well, laugh if you like. But my crazy behavior is due to these mites that have been bothering me lately. They crawl around my butt and my solution is to suffocate them in dust. So yes, if you see my butt falling as I walk, you know why.

Coming to the topic of the day. We chickens are very much into villages. We have a very sociable way of living. If one of us had chicks, we would all take care of them. We clean each other, talk to each other, bully each other and if one of us fell sick, the rest of us would even peck the sick one to death, and then perhaps eat them, all together! So yeah, one big happy family. With regards to the human girls, we are sweet. We follow them around as long as they don’t try to pounce on us. We hang close, we are ok with occasional hugs, and we provide plenty of entertainment. Not to forget, we lay eggs!! I would go as far as to say that we chickens are keeping this ship afloat, or this village thriving. Thanks for the appreciation! Later my friends. Gotta go suffocate some mites.