Good girls go to heaven. Bad girls go to.. the chemistry lab?!

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That’s what Disney is telling us. Don’t believe me? Allow me to give you some examples.

Let’s start with Snow White. Snow White works super hard and is a good girl. The queen is a bad girl. So guess what happens. After Snow White goes to the dwarfs, the bad queen goes to her chemistry lab! She concocts the ultimate chemistry marvel in the form of a beautiful apple. The apple put Snow White into sleep but she could be woken up with a kiss. Let’s see if you can top that! Don’t you tell me that the queen is worthless. She puts even the top chemists to shame. Not only that, she has a gala time while conducting her experiments and laughs a big, evil laugh throughout her exertions. I was mighty impressed. Snow White, on the other hand, immediately discarded her virtues which involved perfect housekeeping to become a princess, Disney’s ultimate heaven for women.

Not convinced, are you? Let’s bring in Rapunzel. Rapunzel’s biggest virtue was that she had long hair. Hmm! Pretty, maybe. Unhandy, definitely. Virtuous? I don’t think so. Now her kidnapper/mom discovered the flower of youth by herself and also figured out how to use Rapunzel’s hair in lieu of the flower to keep herself young. She also was a self sufficient single mom/kidnapper. So, plenty of grit and knowledge there.

Don’t you shake your head with disbelief. Let’s move on to the little mermaid. The bad gal was so knowledgeable in Chemistry that not only did she pull out Ariel’s voice, she was also able to transform mermaids such as Ariel and herself into humans. That’s some serious chemistry skills, you all.

You aren’t buying it, are you? Have you seen the modern day Emperor’s new groove? There’s some variation in the story there, in the sense the good girl was replaced by a spoilt prince. However, the bad girl, Yzma, was a super wizard in chemistry with all her pink vials changing humans to llamas, cats and many other forms of animals.

Lastly, another bit of a variation. This bad girl is not a whiz in chemistry, but she was a miraculous seamstress. Yes, we are talking about none other than Miss Cruella DeVille. The good girl, Anita, was fine. However, this bad girl, Cruella DeVille, was on top of her game in the fashion world. Also, her planning to defeat her rival designer by staging her own death was poetry in motion. Ms. Cruella even designed a gown that doubled as a parachute to save her life, thereby proving herself to be a most effective physicist.

Ladies and gentlemen, I rest my case.

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