Crazy cookie the chicken: I have noticed. We the chickens have been under-represented in the last few blogs. How do I know this, you may ask? Well, sometimes when we are free ranging I go up to the window of the human house and look at the computer inside. I have seen new blogs showing up, but we haven’t been asked to contribute.

So a few days ago, I decided to do something about it. I called a meeting of all my sisters. We met on the rocks and tires in the chicken run. Lazy Laurie, rightfully, was indignant and decided to take action! And when Lazy Laurie is mad, things happen!

The humans are very proud of their chicken run construction. They think it is animal proof. Well! The truth is, over the years we have made a teeny tiny door using which we can escape the run. This was made in case we have to exit in extreme emergency.

So tonight, we launched our elaborate plan! Baby, the chicken now at the lowest of the pecking order (yay!) stayed on the roost watching the human house. Her job was to crow loudly three times in case any humans woke up and turned on their lights. The three of us, Lazy Laurie, Daisy and I left our run through the emergency exit. We made our way to the house.

Our elaborate plan had been set into motion earlier in the day when we were free ranging. Lazy Laurie had carefully placed a stone that blocked the door to the mud room from closing. We hoped against hope that the humans hadn’t noticed the stone and had left the door open in their usual careless manner. Aha! We were right. The door to the mud room was open. We were in!

The next challenge was the door that leads to the kitchen. But Daisy, our most docile chicken had the right idea. You may not know this, but Rosie, the old dog is in love with Daisy. Love makes creatures do strange things and we planned to take full advantage of that (heh heh). Rosie was laying in the kitchen as usual.

Climbing over my back, Daisy made a gigantic leap to the window of the kitchen door, squawking loudly as she flew. Unfortunately these days Rosie can barely see or hear. She stayed sleeping. No problem, said Lazy Laurie. She keeps a flashlight under her wing for such emergencies. Lazy Laurie turned on the flashlight and stuck it to Daisy’s comb using a piece of tape. Following this, Daisy repeated her act of launching herself off my back, squawking and noisily flapping her feathers. Whazzat?! Said Rosie as she woke up with a start. She ran to the door.

Rosie’s noise immediately brought Kylo Ren the great young dog scrambling to the kitchen. He is very protective of his old wife, Rosie. This was what we wanted. A third flashing, squawking and flapping launch of Daisy made Kylo pop his eyes out! He went quite mad.

Now, Kylo Ren can open the kitchen door by jumping on the handle. And that’s just what he did. In a thrice the kitchen door was open and Kylo was out in the mudroom trying to get us. But he had underestimated Lazy Laurie. Lazy Laurie puffed up into a massive ball and let out a most terrifying squawk. This temporarily stunned Kylo. While he was trying to figure out his next move, I launched Daisy five times in rapid succession over Kylo’s head. This time she had a twine in her beak. As she launched over Kylo, the twine fell on his snout and as she ran back to me from under him, she formed a neat loop around his nose and mouth. Before Kylo could react, he had five such loops! While he was trying to figure this out, Daisy ran around his paws and tied them up too. Poor Kylo knew he was beaten. When he tried to struggle, Lazy Laurie climbed on his nose, puffing and letting out scary squawks. Kylo fell into silence.

Upon Lazy Laurie’s signal, Daisy and I ran to the computer. Daisy stood guard and diverted Rosie by her love dance. I quickly logged on and wrote this blog (hee hee). Just so you understand, this was no ordinary feat. I had to open the computer, type using my nifty drumsticks and resist the temptation of pooping all over the keyboard. But I did it. The proof is in the pudding, and you, my dear readers, have just been served the pudding!

Uh oh. Here’s the three crow signal from Baby. The humans are waking up. The upstairs lights are on. Time to take off. Let me publish this. Later my pals!