Crazy cookie the chicken: I have noticed. We the chickens have been under-represented in the last few blogs. How do I know this, you may ask? Well, sometimes when we are free ranging I go up to the window of the human house and look at the computer inside. I have seen new blogs showing up, but we haven’t been asked to contribute.

So a few days ago, I decided to do something about it. I called a meeting of all my sisters. We met on the rocks and tires in the chicken run. Lazy Laurie, rightfully, was indignant and decided to take action! And when Lazy Laurie is mad, things happen!

The humans are very proud of their chicken run construction. They think it is animal proof. Well! The truth is, over the years we have made a teeny tiny door using which we can escape the run. This was made in case we have to exit in extreme emergency.

So tonight, we launched our elaborate plan! Baby, the chicken now at the lowest of the pecking order (yay!) stayed on the roost watching the human house. Her job was to crow loudly three times in case any humans woke up and turned on their lights. The three of us, Lazy Laurie, Daisy and I left our run through the emergency exit. We made our way to the house.

Our elaborate plan had been set into motion earlier in the day when we were free ranging. Lazy Laurie had carefully placed a stone that blocked the door to the mud room from closing. We hoped against hope that the humans hadn’t noticed the stone and had left the door open in their usual careless manner. Aha! We were right. The door to the mud room was open. We were in!

The next challenge was the door that leads to the kitchen. But Daisy, our most docile chicken had the right idea. You may not know this, but Rosie, the old dog is in love with Daisy. Love makes creatures do strange things and we planned to take full advantage of that (heh heh). Rosie was laying in the kitchen as usual.

Climbing over my back, Daisy made a gigantic leap to the window of the kitchen door, squawking loudly as she flew. Unfortunately these days Rosie can barely see or hear. She stayed sleeping. No problem, said Lazy Laurie. She keeps a flashlight under her wing for such emergencies. Lazy Laurie turned on the flashlight and stuck it to Daisy’s comb using a piece of tape. Following this, Daisy repeated her act of launching herself off my back, squawking and noisily flapping her feathers. Whazzat?! Said Rosie as she woke up with a start. She ran to the door.

Rosie’s noise immediately brought Kylo Ren the great young dog scrambling to the kitchen. He is very protective of his old wife, Rosie. This was what we wanted. A third flashing, squawking and flapping launch of Daisy made Kylo pop his eyes out! He went quite mad.

Now, Kylo Ren can open the kitchen door by jumping on the handle. And that’s just what he did. In a thrice the kitchen door was open and Kylo was out in the mudroom trying to get us. But he had underestimated Lazy Laurie. Lazy Laurie puffed up into a massive ball and let out a most terrifying squawk. This temporarily stunned Kylo. While he was trying to figure out his next move, I launched Daisy five times in rapid succession over Kylo’s head. This time she had a twine in her beak. As she launched over Kylo, the twine fell on his snout and as she ran back to me from under him, she formed a neat loop around his nose and mouth. Before Kylo could react, he had five such loops! While he was trying to figure this out, Daisy ran around his paws and tied them up too. Poor Kylo knew he was beaten. When he tried to struggle, Lazy Laurie climbed on his nose, puffing and letting out scary squawks. Kylo fell into silence.

Upon Lazy Laurie’s signal, Daisy and I ran to the computer. Daisy stood guard and diverted Rosie by her love dance. I quickly logged on and wrote this blog (hee hee). Just so you understand, this was no ordinary feat. I had to open the computer, type using my nifty drumsticks and resist the temptation of pooping all over the keyboard. But I did it. The proof is in the pudding, and you, my dear readers, have just been served the pudding!

Uh oh. Here’s the three crow signal from Baby. The humans are waking up. The upstairs lights are on. Time to take off. Let me publish this. Later my pals!

I came across this saying, which looks like yet another attempt to degrade women. Hey, guess what?! I agree. Yes, this is one hundred percent true. You can’t believe what I am saying? Do allow me to elaborate.

Wine is made from fermented grape juice. Sure, there are some health benefits of drinking wine. Due to it’s antioxidant characteristics, drinking in moderation can help with cardiovascular diseases, hypertension, certain types of cancer and diabetes. Of course, many herbs such as clove and oregano have antioxidant characteristics and can provide the same health benefits.

They say, the older the better. Ageing wine helps with the flavor. The original fruit-heavy taste is replaced by hidden flavors such as honey, herbal notes, hay, mushroom, stone and earth. However, from my limited research, I saw that young wine was healthier than aged.

So the older man that now comes in mind when comparing him with aged wine conjures a picture of one of those older men who ride in a convertible, James Bond style. Maybe that looks good to you, maybe it doesn’t. It definitely is not better than it’s younger counterpart since we know that young wine is healthier.

Also note, not all wine ages well. You have to treat it with utmost care, process at the right temperature, humidity etc. So in other words, if we are comparing men and wine, not all men are going to age like the fine wine that this metaphor is trying to get us to imagine. The better kept men, the wealthy age well, and look better. It’s classist, with no actual, core improvement.

Ok, shall we talk about aging milk? If you take milk in it’s pure, raw form and let it sit on your countertop, you will get clabber followed by curd and whey. Skim the top of milk to get cream. If you let this age for a couple of days, you get sour cream. Take some yogurt culture and add it to your warm milk. You get yogurt. Add activated kefir grains to raw milk to get kefir. Skim the top of raw milk and beat the cream to get butter. The leftover water after making butter is buttermilk. Cook the butter to get ghee. Use a cheese culture and proper process, and you have cheese.

Most of us know the health benefits of each of these products. Milk, curd, whey, clabber, cheese, sour cream, yogurt, butter and buttermilk can provide you with complete, nutritious and wholesome meals that keep your body maximally nourished and in the best possible shape.

Getting to the fancy side, milk is used in cakes, icing, ice cream, puddings and a mind blowing range of products.

In other words, as milk ages and ferments, it breaks down the indigestible lactose (milk sugar) and casein (milk protein). So as milk ages, it becomes better for your body and health.

Also, unlike wine, whose antioxidant properties are not unique to it, but are shared by a host of herbs, which makes wine easily replaceable, there’s no other product that comes anywhere close to milk.

Likening a woman’s aging to the aging of milk is extremely appropriate. Just as milk get better and better for your health as it ages, as a woman ages she becomes a mother and a grandmother. Or if not, she will benefit the society with stronger inclination to nurture as she ages, rather than preen about her looks.

So, yes, I agree fully. Men indeed age like wine, and women, amazingly, age like milk.

To end this blog, lines from one of my favorite Beegees song (slightly modified), dedicated to the man who came up with this saying.

I started a joke

It started the whole world laughing

But I didn’t see

That the joke was on me, oh no.

References:

What Really Happens as Wine Ages?

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-08-18/young-red-wine-healthier-than-aged-research-says/12568772

Nourishing traditions by Sally Fallon and Mary G Enig, PhD.

Tis that time of the year. Everything is growing, and growing fast! Since our return from the trip, I have been busy either outside or inside the house. Outside it’s gardening, inside it’s spring cleaning. A bit about our garden. It is divided into many sections. There’s a front yard, which mostly has bushes to detract people from getting too close! The entire yard is fenced in to keep our myriad animals from wandering too far out.

Once you enter the gate, there’s the mid-yard (if there is such a term!) where Rosie frequently spends her days. The pumpkin/sunflower patch is also in the mid-yard.

As you move further in, we have a second fence and gate into the backyard. The backyard is where all the fun begins. Upon entering, the first thing you will see is a flower patch. I put this patch in last year. It needs some more flowers that we will put in this year. The flowers here are perennial, meaning, they come back every year. The perennial flower patch is surrounded by hosta. I am hoping to make this patch bigger, although that has to happen very quickly right about now, since the wet spring makes digging easier. We have a mulberry tree in this patch as well.

Walking down the garden path, beyond the flower patch, you will find our perennial, medicinal herb garden. Again, these herbs come back every year. Few herbs in this patch are: marshmallow, yarrow, sage, echinacea, comfrey, korean licorice mint, lemon balm, chamomile and oregano. This patch continues into our vegetable patch. The herb and vegetable patch are separated by a row of flowers.

In our vegetable patch, currently we have asparagus (which is a perennial), garlic (planted last fall) and peas which we put in last month. The rest of the weedy patch needs work. My plan is to put in less vegetables and more herbs and flowers this year. This is because vegetables are easily available during the growing season at the farmer’s market, but herbs are hard to find.

At the end of the vegetable patch is a tulip patch. The tulip patch is in full sun. Tulips need partial sun (that’s why they are so happy in the sunless Netherlands). This fall I will plant many bulbs elsewhere. Beyond the tulip patch we have a little sitting area and our chicken coop. The garden path ends up into our old and new barn.

A word on the chicken coop. Johan made this coop from an old refrigerator affixed horizontally on the old barn. The fridge space serves as a coop and the freezer is where the chickens lay their eggs. There’s a hole at the bottom of the fridge and a ramp. Chickens walk in and out of the fridge home using this hole. The doors of the fridge were replaced by wooden walls. This is a most excellent coop because it is super insulated. Our coop is unheated.

Upon stepping out of the hole, the chickens walk into a nice run area where they spend their days. When we are out in the yard, they are allowed to free range in our yard.

All the above-mentioned are on the left side of our garden path.

To the right, we have a berry patch (raspberry, blackberry, elderberry, blueberry) right opposite the tulip patch. Further in is a greenhouse made from repurposed windows of an old apartment building. In front of the greenhouse is a corn/strawberry patch.

At the far end of the yard is our huge pond that we put in a few years back. It has goldfish and minnows. We go in with a raft and hang out there sometimes.

The rest of the yard has a tall evergreen and bushes. At the farthest end is a wood and tool shed. See pics!

As you can imagine, this yard keeps me busy. Since it is chemical-free, all weeds have to be pulled out and taken care of. Bushes need trimming. Kids, husband and everyone else leave messes which we deal with as time permits.

To cut a long story short, my yard is messy, exciting, busy and very happening. With summer rapidly approaching, our days will be spent here. Now I am off to take some cool pics and work further in my yard.